The peonies outside my snug are starting to bud. Our cherry tree blossoms are littering the path to the old garage currently getting a facelift. Spring has officially sprung! Along with pollinators and robins frolicking in the bird bath, bluebirds visiting our feeder, our yard is alive with the sounds of construction. This is a time for reinvention – a time before the humidity of summer dampens our best efforts.
So of course I signed up for “The Good List.” I’ll be getting a weekly newsletter from Melissa Kirsch, a NYTimes journalist, who compiles all the things worthy of our attention that might just bring us joy. In her bio I’ve read that she will remain apolitical, she writes: “My beat is broadly about how to lead a meaningful life. I’m interested in the eternal human pursuit of happiness, connection and community and the ways in which technological advancement both helps and hinders these aims.”
It sounds a lot like her beat is similar to mine, minus the technological bits of course… and the apolitical. My purpose is more connecting the dots between the personal and political. And almost every night, Bob and I like to recite at least three things that we were grateful for that day. Our pillow talk ranges from mundane to philosophical. I feel like it sets the stage for my brain to recover and dream good thoughts, to reinvent our dystopian reality. I wake wondering why Bob is hanging pictures, when it’s only a wall going up in the new/old/garage/casita.
Did you know that our brains could use a little down time during the day as well? Boredom is actually a gift I’ve tried to give my children and grandchildren. “How could you be bored?” I’d say, while explaining all the wonderful things they could be doing like reading, or just taking a walk and noticing plants along the way, or not. I remember the surprise of the Bride’s little friend when I said we were going for a walk in the woods, to nowhere. She was actually shocked. But it’s a scientific fact, we need to stop our monkey mind every now and again to recharge – it’s called the “default mode.”
“The default mode network is a bunch of structures in your brain that switch on when you don’t have anything else to think about. So, you forgot your phone and you’re sitting at a light, for example. That’s when your default mode network goes on. We don’t like it.” https://hbr.org/2025/08/you-need-to-be-bored-heres-why
I would say most people don’t like it. That’s why our phones have become small, addictive antidotes to boredom. Maybe I do write about techy things! Say you’re standing in line at Starbucks and everyone is looking down, at their phones. Or maybe you’re stuck in a TSA line at an airport, that devious device becomes a way out of the chaos. After the Groom returned home from Europe this past weekend, he was Facetiming with the Bride in Memphis. Our sporty Love Bug was playing in a volleyball tournament, and while I spoke with them I asked why the video on his phone was black and white? “It’s his phone Mom,” she said laughing.
The Groom’s default mode is black and white to make his phone less appealing! Genius.
I lose my phone ALL the time. It’s teetering on the toaster, or lost in the bed covers. Sometimes I need Bob to call me so I can find it, although my Saint of Lost Things would prefer to search for it. For a long time I was feeling like dementia was right around the corner, I’d be dialing my microwave to call someone in no time. Until the Groom told me that misplacing my phone was a good sign – it means I’M NOT ATTACHED TO IT. Phew.
I think artists in particular need to engage their default mode. Our brains need time to rest and let some creativity bubble up; if we start doom scrolling on our phones we’re likely to end up wherever that algorithm takes us. I like to say my best ideas come to me in the shower. The Bride thinks I should listen to podcasts while I walk, but then I wouldn’t meet Molly, the senior Shiba Inu who is pushed like a queen in her stroller. The Flapper once told me, “Everyone has a story,” and I don’t want to miss any of them.
After we hung up with the Love Bug, I rushed out to Trader Joes to get some tulip peonies for our returning volleyball champion. I had read on The Good List that these flowers were currently available for a very limited time. I’d never heard of tulips that look like peonies, two of my very favorites combined to trumpet in Spring. Well, Nashville’s TJs had never heard of them either, but I did find some purple tulips.
This picture is from Spring Break in Paris! The Pumpkin is almost as tall as me.



Leave a comment