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Posts Tagged ‘Books’

Mischief and Madness

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , , , , , on October 31, 2012| 4 Comments »

My heart goes out to my Jersey Shore. Not the one that Snooki made famous. I’m talking about the peninsula between two rivers, the bay bridges that flew our flag after 9/11, the Stone Pony where my son’s band held court, the small businesses, the boardwalks and dunes, the beach clubs, the people. It’s the people, the friends I’ve made who knew me when, who are suffering now and I feel their loss.

In NJ we had to try and keep our kids inside on Mischief Night, the night before Halloween. It was not an easy task, if they wanted to teepee somebody’s tree or throw eggs on another’s car, chances are they managed to succeed. Sandy made mischief of that beautiful coastline with impunity. While watching CNN in Nashville on Nana duty this morning, I see that the Nashville Red Cross is sending volunteers to Tinton Falls, NJ – the same building where thousands stood in line on September 11th. I’ve talked and texted my way through. A tree missed a car by inches, the tide crept one house away. No one has power, no one. I’m thankful the Rocker and Ms Cait evacuated Asbury Park to my MIL’s house; I’m afraid of what they will find when they return today.

But as cabanas floated out to sea, and long generations of fishermen lost their boats, their homes and their livelihood, I was happy to hear that Gov Chris Christie called our President’s response to the storm “outstanding.” http://www.addictinginfo.org/2012/10/30/christie-not-interested-in-photo-op/
“The president was great last night. He said he would get it done. At 2 a.m., I got a call from FEMA to answer a couple of final questions and then he signed the declaration this morning. So I have to give the president great credit. He’s been on the phone with me three times in the last 24 hours. He’s been very attentive, and anything that I’ve asked for, he’s gotten to me. So, I thank the president publicly for that. He’s done — as far as I’m concerned — a great job for New Jersey.”

That’s what Christie said on Mischief Night, yesterday. It’s mad to think of politics during a crisis like this. Sandy’s death toll is now up to 50, and with live wires down and gas lines disrupted, many residents are being urged to stay away a few more days. Sometimes, I feel as if we’re living in a nightmare of gigantic Climate Change proportions. And it doesn’t help that I’m reading “Cloud Atlas,” by David Mitchell http://www.reviewsofbooks.com/cloud_atlas/review/. It’s such a dystopian horror show, encompassing so many time periods, that every so often you think it actually could happen. That’s the trick of sci-fi, cut very close to the truth.

We are genetically altering our food, we can clone mammals, it’s just a few more steps to a Corpocracy – hey, with Citizens United, we’re already there. Today people are searching for an open gas station so they can run generators, if they have them. Tomorrow we may just need Soap so our fabricants can fall asleep. “Certainly the vacant disneyarium was a haunting frame for those lost rainy landscapes.”

So bring it on Halloween, just try and scare me now you sleep-deprived new parents!

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A Play Within

Posted in books, tagged , , , , , , , on October 14, 2012| 4 Comments »

It’s been a most intriguing weekend so far. Our anthology of stories from bloggers around the country, “Tangerine Tango,” arrived in a sweetly smiling brown box. My essays are sprinkled in among other women who manage to find the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of everyday life. My brother, Dr Lynn, has already downloaded a Kindle version. Thanks Jim!

And the Bride has been published too. Remember that child she took care of right before the wedding, when she was on a toxicology rotation? Remember the brown recluse spider bite? It was a heartbreaking moment for all of us who knew; wedding shenanigans were immediately put into the proper perspective. I was on another platform back then, but her paper just came out in their professional journal this month, Annals of Emergency Medicine. I am so very proud of her.
http://www.annemergmed.com/article/S0196-0644(11)01926-3/abstract

I wish I knew that the Dalai Lama, who was here visiting Cville, had scheduled a talk with medical professionals at UVA. Bob said the tickets sold out in 2 minutes. I met a woman who heard him speak about being vulnerable, about bringing compassion into their relationships with patients. “His holiness emphasized the importance of paying attention, being mindful, and giving a patient a sense of hope, peace and satisfaction with their life, especially at the moment of death.” http://www.nbc29.com/story/19794898/dalai-lama-charlottesville

Although I missed his lecture, I bought his book “Beyond Religion.” The Dalai Lama writes: “The fundamental problem, I believe, is that at every level we are giving too much attention to the external material aspects of life while neglecting moral ethics and inner values.” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/02/beyond-religion-dalai-lam_n_1125892.html

And I attended a half-day Yoga/Dance Workshop. It was exhilarating to be in the company of women who could create peacefully and nurture our inner artist. We talked about the difference between setting goals and having an “intention” for our time together – one is future-based while the other is grounded in the here and now. How soon we adults forget to play together. And this morning’s Love Bug update? Learning to play!

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Mopey Moods

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , , on October 11, 2012| 3 Comments »

What do you do when you’re confronted with a mopey mood? Maybe you didn’t sleep that well because there is a new little human being in the house trying to tell the difference between night and day. Or maybe it’s just a dreary, rainy sort of morning and you woke up to find you were out of milk for your coffee. You might even be anticipating a lackluster VP debate? Well if you were Peter Rabbit, you’d decide you need a change of scene! http://www.npr.org/2012/10/11/161708397/emma-thompson-revives-anarchist-peter-rabbit

This wonderful little character, who first debuted in 1902 just a few years before the Flapper was born, is being brought back to life by the Oscar winning actress Emma Thompson. She is the first person to be authorized to continue the story of the little bunny since 1930, after Beatrix Potter’s death. I didn’t know that she writes too, but Thompson says that she loves the Victorian language. For instance, where we might say we found a cheese sandwich in our lunch bag, Thompson says, “…inside wrapped in brown paper were some excellent sandwiches of cheese and pickle.”

I agree with Thompson when she says, “I think the first words that enter you when you’re very small have a hugely powerful, potent impact on your relationship with language. And to have had Potter as a child did me — not to make her sound like spinach or anything — a lot of good because she’s such a brilliant writer.” And of course Peter Rabbit is a bit of an anarchist, like a little rebellious child who wants to do the exact opposite of what his parent’s think are good for her or him.

So today, in honor of Peter Rabbit, why not do something slightly dangerous? Break a rule, go on an adventure. “Action and adventure” I used to call those mopey days with small children. After all, even a trip to the park can be like going to the circus for a small child. Maybe in my next life, I’ll come back as a children’s literature author? I have a wonderful idea for a book about a big white dog named Buddha. He loves his life by the beach where he sits under a magical huckleberry tree. Or maybe I should just write it for the Love Bug?

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It Takes Two

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , on October 1, 2012| 13 Comments »

Birthdays can be blissful, or birthdays can be forgotten. When I was approaching 50, I decided to go backwards. So instead of 50, I celebrated my 49th birthday. Reaching 40 never phased me, but I was dreading that half a century mark for some reason. Now I’ve reached the brink; an age that is still too young for Medicare, too old for Twitter (though I do love Instagram) and just right for becoming a Grandmother. I am now the same age as Bob, our birthdays are about a month apart so I can stay younger for exactly 35 days. Because my generation thought we had to make dinner every night, I’m still feeding him.

When we moved to the Piedmonts of Virginia from the Suburbs of the Jersey Shore, I only had two conditions. We would build our house, a not-so-big house with a view, and we would learn to tango. It wasn’t easy. Our realtor said that she showed us every single thing there was for sale in the county over the course of a year, when I found the right piece of land online. Our dance instructor told me that Bob had to lead, so you can imagine how that worked out. But tango we did and here I sit, in my aviary typing away, watching the mountains turn from dark charcoal and lilac lines into a citrine and burgundy masterpiece every day.

And although the book I want to write about the Flapper is still in pieces on my desk, I do have something else, besides the Love Bug to celebrate this year. A woman I met through a serendipitous route – let’s see, it started with knitting and ended with a new friend who was becoming a grandmother on exactly the same date – has edited a group of essays by bloggers…and asked me to contribute. So when dearest Aunt Bert asked, “Where does your blog go?” I can now answer her, “Why, into a book of course!” And it’s titled, “Tangerine Tango.” I’m thrilled, and hope you like it.

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Honey Where You Been

Posted in books, tagged , , , , , , , on September 16, 2012| 1 Comment »

Last night I finished a fun and compelling book, “Where’d You Go, Bernadette” by Maria Semple. Happened to pick it up in my favorite old-timey Nashville bookstore, Parnassus. http://www.parnassusbooks.net

It’s about a runaway mom, Bernadette; and her pre-teen daughter, Bee who is trying to find her. But really it’s about so much more. You will laugh at the description of Seattle, the mud slide and the penguins. Oh, it’s about Antarctica too.

And if you’re lucky, you will see a little bit of yourself in the heroine.

And here’s a little Sunday morning pick-me-up I’d like to dedicate to the new dad, the Groom and to the new uncle, the Rocker too. Because they like this kind of guitar pickin…

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What Happened to Me

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , on July 27, 2012| 3 Comments »

Bob sat down next to me at the graveside service, a handful of dirt in his hand. I gave him one of my most scathing looks and whispered, “This is not a Jewish ceremony, don’t throw that dirt in my brother’s grave.” On top of the purple and gold flowers cascading over the casket, the pall bearers filed by placing their boutonnieres in the arrangement. Then the minister started to speak about how in their reform (Presbyterian) tradition, emphasis is placed on the afterlife, and not on the body. And while reciting the prayer “…ashes to ashes, dust to dust,” the solemn/seersucker/suited/Southern preacher threw a handful of dirt in among the flowers. Bob turned and smiled at me.

“Isn’t religion useful?” I said, while driving along on our twelve hour road trip home. The book NPR was discussing with its author was What Happened to Sophie Wilder, by Christopher Beha. http://www.npr.org/2012/07/26/157424289/christopher-beha-on-faith-and-its-discontents Beha is a lapsed Catholic, a non-believer like me, and he wrote a fictional account about an old college love who converted to Catholicism. I was riveted. After the radio interview, our discussion ran deep. Losing a family member, even when it was expected and an end to endless suffering, can bring some clarity into our own lives. Life is fragile, hang onto the good times, and yes, isn’t religion “useful.” Bob and I were talking about the service, the minister’s warm and heartfelt tribute to Mike, who had told him time and time again, “You’re doing my funeral, you’re MY man!” No one could refuse my brother.

I grew up super-Catholic because my foster parents were Catholic and my dead Father had been a church-going Catholic and not a “cultural Catholic.” Sacred Heart School, Camp St Joseph for Girls, maroon beanies and bow ties followed by khaki shorts and mass every morning in the summer. Beha was asked when he lost his faith and I was thinking about my own fall from grace. Remember, I was 11 when I went to live with the Flapper forever. She married a Jewish man, a judge in our small town. I acquired Jewish step-siblings and my brother Jim went to Columbia University. My first foray into a temple was for Purim, when kids dressed up in costumes and made noise like a Jewish Halloween! The polar opposite of the Latin Mass. I was hooked. Dinner table talk became enlightening, expansive. The Flapper loved Buddhism and wanted to travel to Hong Kong; she had been raised Presbyterian I believe, but always said that organized religion was for sheep. Sundays became a day for sleeping-in, the New York Times and lox and bagels with whitefish – no more church-going for me. But since I could first form a thought in my head, I never did buy the idea that only Catholics would get into heaven…and limbo? After 9/11, I was permanently done with religion of any kind.

So what is faith and how do we keep it? Mike grew up Catholic, married a Baptist, and was buried near William Faulkner by a Presbyterian. My Jewish MIL bought my cemetery plot near hers, soon after I married her son. Was this marriage counselor trying to tell me something about ’till death do us part? My step-father is buried there, and so is Bob’s brother Richard. I once knew a rabbi who said we haven’t really grown up until we plan our own funeral. Mike lived his life his way, not looking for accolades but working tirelessly. We will never know all of his good deeds, because for such a powerful man, he was pretty humble. That was rule number one from the nuns. He loved Great Danes, and his elegant Carmen never left his room. Frank Sinatra was playing, and a brother-in-law spoke about the dog sculpture that always sat on his Vikings desk. Emblazoned on its backside were the words, “If you’re not first in line, the view never changes.”

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“The Sea Is So Wide…

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , on June 5, 2012| 2 Comments »

One of the very first internships the Bride had in college was working for the Children’s Defense Fund, http://www.childrensdefense.org/ Marion Wright Edelman’s bipartisan DC watchdog advocacy group. This was a coup, landing a summer job in our nation’s Capital with such a stellar company. Well, it’s graduation time again and I’m thinking of my BFF’s daughter, Natalie, a Georgetown grad who just received her MBA from the S.C. Johnson Graduate School of Management at Cornell University. An ex-Peace Corps worker in Mali, she was studying at the Johnson’s Center for Sustainable Global Enterprise and we’re expecting great things from her! Major congrats to Natalie on winning this fellowship and mazels to her parents, Lee and Al Bear: http://www.johnson.cornell.edu/About/News-Publications/Article-Detail/ArticleId/2671/Natalie-Grillon-Samuel-Curtis-Johnson-Graduate-School-of-Management-MBA-2012-Named-Acumen-Global-Fel.aspx

Here is one of her recent tweets (from Facebook, I’m not on Twitter, yet) – “not too late for tribal ties to detach MNLA separatists and Ansar Dine Tuaregs from Islamists for negotiations?” I could barely follow this, since like most Americans I am too provincial and not thinking globally enough. But her tweet came on the heels of watching this TED lecture my business psychologist brother, Dr Jim, sent me about Tribal Leadership: http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/david_logan_on_tribal_leadership.html

If you’ve ever wondered how we could actually change the world, this is the video to watch. “Three doctors walk into a bar,” sounds like a joke but more importantly it is a meeting of a Stage 3 Tribe. How do we go from a Stage 2 “Life Sucks” world view to Stage 5, with a “Life is Great” world view? David Logan talks about doing world polls, he argues that leaders must be fluent in all five Tribal stages, to build world-changing tribes as Desmond Tutu has done in South Africa. The true leaders in every country must be able to network and connect people from different tribes.

Now let’s zoom in like a Google map on the US of A. It looks to me like our political leaders are still in Stage 3, boasting about who has done a better job, what failed policies the others have initiated. Nobody is getting 60 votes to pass any kind of meaningful legislation, like say equal pay for equal work…it is the most rigid, intransigent group of leaders legislators I’ve ever witnessed. And then this morning I heard that President Clinton gently tried to persuade the DNC to stop attacking Mitt on his ‘stellar’ business record, and instead follow through with the GOP’s likely outcome should their guy get elected: “The alternative would be, in my opinion, calamitous for our country and the world.” Do you see what he did, he zoomed out! Yes, he was saying that not tackling some hard issues like education, entitlements and yes, taxes, will lead our great country down the rabbit hole that Europe seems to be in. And Clinton is someone who knows about economics, his presidency reigned over one of the most prosperous economic times in our country’s recent history. And let’s not forget, he was the last president to balance the federal budget.

We are sitting on a precipice. 2001 Nobel Laureate Joseph Stiglitz just published a book titled The Price of Inequality. I feel as if he is like a prophet, warning us about the plagues to come should we continue wearing blinders.”There are good reasons why plutocrats should care about inequality anyway—even if they’re thinking only about themselves. The rich do not exist in a vacuum. They need a functioning society around them to sustain their position. Widely unequal societies do not function efficiently and their economies are neither stable nor sustainable. The evidence from history and from around the modern world is unequivocal: there comes a point when inequality spirals into economic dysfunction for the whole society, and when it does, even the rich pay a steep price.” http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/2012/05/joseph-stiglitz-the-price-on-inequality

…and My Boat Is So Small.” The 99% are beginning to realize that while CEOs prosper, their shareholders do not. Income levels are at an all-time low and the recent jobs statistics look grim. “…while the rich have been growing richer, most Americans (and not just those at the bottom) have been unable to maintain their standard of living, let alone to keep pace. A typical full-time male worker receives the same income today he did a third of a century ago.” Ha, I wonder what the female worker is receiving?

Congrats to all the graduates out there, and good luck on your job search. And Major kudos to the Dr Bride who just found out that she passed her oral boards! Yippee!! She is now a full-fledged, board certified ABEM member and fellow of the American College of Emergency Physicians (ACEP). We are so very proud. Here are my two fellows at my niece’s wedding a few years ago!

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Success

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , on June 2, 2012| 4 Comments »

“Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.” Sir Winston Churchill

Just finished reading Malcolm Gladwell’s book Outliers. I’m not much of a non-fiction type, but this book was required Ivy Farm Book Club reading and I’m glad I tackled it. Book Club will be at my house next week and I can’t wait to dish! Published a few years ago, by the same author of Blink and Tipping Point, I remember Bob reading it on vacation. And I vaguely remember bits and pieces of a conversation he had with the Rocker about the Beatles. Gladwell was asking the question, ‘what makes someone a success’ in their chosen field – and it turns out he wasn’t looking at the individual tall oaks – the Bill Gates of the world – but rather the forest in which we find them. Trying not to give too much away, the argument he makes for the meteoric rise of the boys from Liverpool is that they went to Hamburg, Germany and played very, very long sets.

Naturally the book got me thinking. What is it that makes one guy plug away at a prehistoric version of a PC, and then later drop out of Harvard to start up his own company? Gates happened to be born at just the right time, to have parents and teachers who nurtured his early interest in programming, and to become a young adult in 1975, right before the birth of the personal computer. IBM released their first PC in 1981 with an open architecture for a a mere $1,568. My first published piece ran in the Berkshire Eagle about the same time. It was titled “Guns in the Woods,” and it came about because I was struck by the paradox of our simple new life as parents, on a mountain, heating by wood stove, and Bob carting the components of a PC upstairs. It was pre-IBM, very “open architecture,” purchased piecemeal at Radio Shack! Back to nature and back to the future all at once. Gates was born October 28, 1955. If only Bob, a very early computer geek, had been born just a bit later…

Last night we drove by a magnificent double rainbow in a storm shattered sky. It was unusual in that you could see the whole thing, from one end to the other. We were after some frozen yogurt and had to stop to take pictures. And then, Bob went into lecture mode about the Transit of Venus, coming up in just a few days and we’ll need #14 welding glasses to see it, and Venus won’t do this again for 150 years so everyone on earth right now will never see it again…http://www.transitofvenus.org/

Our wedding anniversary is tomorrow. And I thought to myself that yes, I will still need this outlier husband of mine when he’s 64. What makes for a successful marriage?He says it’s because he gets me. I say it’s because I love him despite getting him. He keeps me on my toes and looking up!

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Message in a Quilt

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , , on May 22, 2012| Leave a Comment »

I’m starting to collect a children’s book library for the grandbaby girl’s arrival. Reading to your child is a sacred duty, akin to nursing in my world, you can both relax in each other’s arms. I had already purchased “Me . . . Jane,” by Patrick McDonnell about Jane Goodall at the Parnassus Bookstore. It’s a gorgeously illustrated, dream-like story of a little girl’s love of animals, especially her stuffed toy chimp Jubilee. “A moving photograph shows the adult Goodall reaching out to a baby chimpanzee, which is reaching back to her. The book closes with a page about the naturalist’s life…” It’s very tear-worthy. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/15/books/review/childrens-books-about-jane-goodall.html

And next I’m planning to find “Martha Ann’s Quilt for Queen Victoria” by Kyra Hicks; a 19th Century story about a little girl from east TN who’s family purchases their freedom and moves to Liberia. She watches the British Navy patrol the coast in order to intercept slave traders intent on capturing her family and friends, returning them to a life of slavery. Should I tell you that this true story ends after many years of sewing and saving to fulfill her dream, to deliver her gift to the Queen herself? http://kidslitinformation.blogspot.com/2007/04/review-martha-annes-quilt-for-queen.html

Two brave, strong women. One white, one black, each with a dream fulfilled. And now to tackle another dream, and another quilt. I just read an interview with Ina May Gaskin on Democracy Now’s website, she is the guru of natural childbirth and creator of The Farm, in TN. Gaskin “… describes the women who died of pregnancy-related causes and are commemorated in squares of the Safe Motherhood Quilt Project; (she) argues midwifery is about helping the woman and her child, but is also key to shaping how society as a whole views the birthing process.” In the article, http://www.democracynow.org/blog/2012/3/19/ina_may_gaskin_and_the_safe_motherhood_quilt_project_focus_on_high_us_maternal_mortality_rates she appears to be quite radical. tracing the history of birth from a more primitive society to its current hospital-based, C-section loving institution. She believes the slight statistical upswing of maternal deaths in our country is directly correlated to the increased rate of C-sections.

Quite naturally, the medical professionals in the family had a bit to say about that. The Bride mentioned the older ages of first-time moms. Then she followed that up with the kicker – that Gaskin doesn’t take into account the increase in obesity and its twin cousins diabetes and heart disease. We all heard the alarming figures this week of nearly half the population becoming overweight by 2030. This is how the CDC breaks it down: http://www.cdc.gov/obesity/data/adult.html And here’s the quote that says it all, “Higher income women are less likely to be obese than low-income women.”

Which is Bob’s point, what we have here is a selection bias. Anyone who’s ever taken a Stats 101 course knows what this means. Midwives are seeing relatively healthy women, more middle and upper class women, whereas the high risk pregnancies and poor women are (wait for it) going to be delivered in a hospital. If you want to deliver your baby on all fours, in a kiddie pool, an hour away from the nearest hospital, that’s your choice. But I believe you can control the birth experience while still being in a safe environment for the mother and the baby. Fair warning, do not read this birth story if you are pregnant. http://www.younghouselove.com/2011/04/claras-birth-story/

The socioeconomics of birth was not my first choice for this post, nor was promoting fear and loathing of hospitals or midwives. It was supposed to be about children’s books. But in my mind, when they told me that the Bride was breech, and that there was an increased risk of brain damage with a natural delivery, my answer was simple. Make the cut.

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“Music is Normal Life”

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , on April 12, 2012| Leave a Comment »

In 1966, when Bob and I were going to our Senior Prom in NJ, a suburban Jersey housewife, mother of two daughters, was busy writing songs and trying to keep her husband, Gerry Goffin, away from LSD. Carole King is one of the most prolific, phenomenal pop divas of our generation. And her song, the one Aretha Franklin performed to No 1 stellar star status, is the title of her new memoir, “A Natural Woman.”
This will absolutely be on my must-read list!

And natural she is, with her halo of grey hair and make-up-free face, King was always true to her music, and herself. Over the years she’s had four husbands, four kids, and won four Grammys in 1972. You have to love a woman who is unapologetic, who still comes across like the Jewish Mama from Brooklyn (originally), who only wants to take care of her family and make everybody feel good. “I kept pushing music away because I thought it was keeping me from having a normal life. At this moment, I understand that for me, music is normal life,” King says.

Let’s think about what a natural, and normal life is like for a woman in the spotlight. Becoming famous is almost like putting a magnifying glass between the star and the light – it can only burn. Look at Ashley Judd. A brilliant woman, who happens to be from a musical family but chose acting instead, is speaking publicly about the objectification of women. You’all know my feelings about this. Thank you Ashley for not just explaining your “puffy face,” but for calling our culture and the media to task. “You have to suffer to be beautiful,” that’s what the Flapper would tell me as she combed and pulled my hair out of my head to make perfect braids. It’s time we gave our daughters a different message. “Normal” life is whatever you make it, and a natural woman is beautiful. Beauty is illusory.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/04/09/ashley-judd-slaps-media-in-the-face-for-speculation-over-her-puffy-appearance.html

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