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Posts Tagged ‘duke college’

What would you do if you came home and your front door was ajar? You went into your bathroom and noticed some drops of caked blood on the sink and the rug? Would you take a shower? Then, let’s say you did take a shower, and you noticed another toilet in the house hadn’t been flushed.

And let’s just say you are 19, and studying abroad where your knowledge of your host’s culture and language is limited.

It took the poopy toilet for panic mode to set in for Amanda Knox. The year was 2009. In her mind, she’d been explaining away all the other little things: a broken latch; recently pierced ears or maybe menstrual difficulties. But the toilet was another problem entirely. Just days earlier her roommate, Miranda Kircher a British student, had mentioned in passing that Amanda needed to clean the toilet after every use, this was the European way.

Hailing from Seattle, Amanda was more of a water conservationist, but she understood  – when in Peugina, Italy, you abide by their customs. And when she couldn’t open Miranda’s locked bedroom door, she did what every other red-blooded American girl would do, she called her mother!

You may have heard that last week, Italy’s highest court decided that Amanda and her ex-boyfriend, Raffaela Sollecheti, have been convicted again, found guilty again, in the murder of her roommate Miranda.

And I remember at first back in 2009 thinking, oh sure enough, they did it. Amanda sounds like a compulsive liar. I rarely gave it another thought – then after serving 4 years in prison, they were found innocent by an appeals court. It had been a comedy of errors. A provincial police department ignored and/or contaminated evidence, they held back key pathology reports. There was a prosecutor who was being investigated for improper conduct around a “satanic serial killer.”

So when I heard the Italians had changed their minds again, found the pair guilty of murder again, the Agatha Christie in me just had to come out. I read Amanda’s memoir, “Waiting to be Heard.” I devoured every news article I could Google. And it turns out Amanda was guilty of a few things – her demeanor and facial expressions were inappropriate – she had demonstrated some yoga moves in a police hallway at the urging of a cop, she had been filmed chastely kissing her boyfriend in the driveway at the scene. To her detriment, she waited 4 days for her mom to arrive and to help the police who were framing her for murder. And sleep-deprived and naive, she was forced into a “false confession” that implicated her boss at a café in the murder. The real murderer would be arrested in Germany after his DNA was found all over the murder scene.

The theory of a sex game gone horribly wrong was more or less a fantasy of the prosecutor. And all it needed was a willing Italian press to spread its discrepancies and lies. And sell newspapers.

And I remembered sending the Bride off to Paris for her Junior year abroad. And sending the 15 year old Rocker to visit her along with her roommate’s brothers for Thanksgiving, 1999.

On top of the Eiffel Tower

On top of the Eiffel Tower

And even with some anti-Semitic graffiti in the 16th Arrondissement, I felt sure that they would be fine. They lived in an apartment above a French family, it was probably once the servant’s attic atelier. The girls ate with them weekly.

Now if I were Amanda’s mother, I’d be getting our passports in order.

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My glamorous older sister, Kay, would always call our Mother, the Flapper, on Sunday mornings. It was pre-arranged. Right after CBS Sunday Morning was finished, during the wildlife roll call, my sophisticated New York City sib would dial up the Doyenne of Lake Minnetonka and they would discuss life in general, along with a few topics from the TV show. When the Flapper died, Kay started calling our brother Dr Jim, who lives right by that same MN lake. Or maybe he called her? I was too much of a news junkie, so I’d tune into the political talking heads on Sunday morning, if I wasn’t out at a farmer’s market or walking a dog or two. Now I sometimes join their Sunday morning calls by miraculously “merging” our numbers via iPhone.

And speaking of my “old” iPhone, I am a very spoiled and lucky new grandmother. Because due to the wonders of technology, and maybe karma, almost every morning I receive a text picture or video of the Love Bug. And I cannot wait to hear that cell phone beep! Happy 1 month birthday beautiful baby girl!

I guess for this mama and daughter, it all started when the Bride went off to college. I’d email her a “morning message” every single day. Email was pretty new in ’97, and my short sentences were meant to inspire and inform, I hoped the way a teacher might have something written on the blackboard as students walked into her classroom. I’d write things like, “I know you can ace that exam,” or “How can I make another article about the Garden Tour seem interesting?” I asked her if it was too intrusive and to my relief she said no, she loved getting them; I just may not get a reply every time, because you know she’s busy being a Duke college student and all. I understood, because it wasn’t really about politeness or manners with us. It was about the connection. The connection I lost in our family’s Year of Living Dangerously.

Perhaps it’s because I am fed up with political diatribes, or maybe because Bob is saving lives this morning, I found myself entranced with CBS Sunday Morning http://www.cbsnews.com/sunday-morning/ and I was touched by the story titled “The Healing Arts.” It’s about all the contemporary art lining the halls of Cedars Sinai Medical Center in LA. Who knew? But communing with art can lower your blood pressure and give a patient battling a crippling disease a different perspective – if just for the few minutes stroll down a hallway. Hospital as Art Museum – I like it! And it made me think of the art lessons Kay gave the very young Bride in her NYC apartment, and how much our young doctor loves to paint. She finished this painting in college, where she spent a semester in Paris, drawing and studying art. Cue the nature noise!

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