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Posts Tagged ‘Family’

“Not a Fan”

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , , , , , on December 16, 2025| 2 Comments »

Happy Hanukkah! I’m a big fan of the holiday season. I love FaceTiming with the Twins and watching their little hands crinkle the wrapping paper of the toys we sent them. Singing the blessing as the Pumpkin lights the menorah and then devouring the Bride’s potato latkes. Setting up my horseshoe Christmas tree brings me joy.

The Groom returned Sunday night from a working trip to Australia and New Zealand. He was flying home when we heard about the massacre on Bondi Beach. Another incident of antisemitism was not surprising, but in Australia? The video however was instructive, showing the pair of father/son killers shooting methodically with what looked like long-barreled hunting rifles – because assault-style guns are banned there. And then out of nowhere, a HERO tackles one of the gunmen – 43 year old Ahmed al Ahmed, a father-of-two, grabs the gun out of the killer’s hands.

And I really don’t care if this man is an atheist, a Lebanese Christian, or Muslim.

I’m a fan of finding the light at our darkest hour. Ahmed deserves to be celebrated! The Aussies have started a Go Fund Me for his medical bills and they’ve raised over a million dollars. The PM is dedicated to reviewing their gun laws. And all that’s great, but what about the two other Australians killed trying to stop the gunmen with bricks? What about the 15 families affected by the murder of their loved ones – the 10 year old girl, the two rabbis, the Holocaust survivor? My heart breaks for their families.

Bob was wondering if the attack over the weekend at Brown University was motivated by antisemitism. He said it’s known to attract progressive thinkers and may have a higher number of Jewish students, so I looked it up. And when compared to other Ivies he’s right – around 24%! “Today, Brown has the highest percentage of Jewish students of any Ivy League university and has the 10th most Jewish students at any private university in America.” https://www.browndailyherald.com/article/2025/11/canfield-28-130-years-after-browns-first-jewish-students-graduated-jewish-life-on-college-hill-is-thriving

The killer of two students, who wounded many more, is still at large so we don’t know his motivation. We do know our president is determined not to do anything to address gun violence in this country, and the Director of the FBI is incompetent. I am not a fan of Kash Patel.

And when Mr T rambled on X about the murder of Rob and Michele Reiner, how he’s not a fan of Reiner and disparages his work in Hollywood, and turns this most tragic, horrific event into a soliloquy about himself, I was not surprised. Mr T’s stream of evil consciousness should be apparent now to everyone, to both parties, all religions and the world at large. What kind of monster does this? The kind who called John McCain a “f-ing loser,” yet another person our idiotic president is not a fan of…

I AM NOT A FAN OF YOU MR T. Do you think you’re still on the Apprentice looking for ratings? You’re committing war crimes off the coast of Venezuela. And it’s not about drug dealers, it’s about the OIL. You’re itching to start a war to take the pressure off your involvement with a known pedophile. What did you say to Epstein to make him double over laughing? Why were you photographed surrounded by young women on his island? What are you hiding?

On this third night of Hanukkah, my wish is for sunshine laws to pry open the Epstein files. That’s all I want from Santa too. BIG Santa fan here! Amen.

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Banning Books and Things

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 9, 2025| Leave a Comment »

I invited the Love Bug to our local artsy cinema this past weekend to see the documentary, “The Librarians.” Book bans are nothing new, Ray Bradbury wrote about burning books in Fahrenheit 451 during the McCarthy era. But in this movie, in 2025, we learn how an ‘anti-woke’ cabal of parents is trying to criminalize school librarians!

 The film “…focuses on actions in Florida, New Jersey, Louisiana and Texas, where a list of 850 titles compiled in 2021 by State Representative Matt Krause, Republican of Texas, was used to cull the stacks. Nationwide, the group Moms for Liberty packs school boards with candidates who wield Scripture in the name of child safety. In one dumbfounding instance, the Bible is cited as the ultimate standard for nonfiction writing.” https://www.nytimes.com/2025/10/02/movies/the-librarians-review.html?unlocked_article_code=1.7E8.a3Nf.WoFe1YRfvEHw&smid=url-share

When I first started covering school board meetings for our local newspaper in NJ, I was disillusioned. The meetings were public, yet our community didn’t show up. The school board members had been there for a very long time, in fact not one had a child in the school system. Granted the meetings ran late and parents in this NYC suburb didn’t have time to sit through lengthy discussions on curriculum. But this indifference prompted me to run in the next election for the board, and surprise surprise I won.

Some states appoint their members, while others leave it up to the people. Several states, including Tennessee, use a mix of appointed and elected members. The Bug asked me who appoints these people, which got me thinking. Obviously, if your Governor and or legislators are appointing school board members, the process is inherently political. I had never thought about this before; after all, why dig deeply into our bedrock educational system?

In NJ, school board members are not compensated for their time – in TN they are. I considered my time on the board as public service.

The Constitution doesn’t exactly guarantee a free K-12 education but the 14th Amendment requires “equal protection of the laws” with a due process clause. It’s why Title IX was passed giving girls’ sports programs parity with the boys! This piecemeal approach however, requiring equal protection and due process laws to every citizen, gets chopped up depending on a number of variables: your state and specific school district; and your rural (white) vs urban (brown) tax revenue. Does this sound like an equal or efficient system?

“An educated citizenry is a vital requisite for our survival as a free people.” If Tom Jefferson didn’t say this exactly, he should have!

The Bride asked her daughter what she thought of The Librarians. Her answer – they banned the graphic novel of Anne Frank because of a picture of her in a garden with statues! And Maus, because the mice were naked! Even the Pumpkin was appalled. We talked about my time working with the school librarian at her Mother’s high school after 9/11, and how much I enjoyed it. But that was before Moms for Liberty stormed sleepy school board meetings demanding certain books be pulled from shelves.

What is most troubling, many school districts are pulling books in anticipation of an edict. This is the very essence of Totalitarianism. Create fear, harbor doubt. “Since July 2021, our Index records 22,810 cases of book bans across 45 states and 451 public school districts.” https://pen.org/report/the-normalization-of-book-banning/

This school year alone has seen 6,870 instances of school book bans. If you don’t want your child to have access to age-appropriate books dealing with LGBTQ subjects, like two male penguins who adopted a chick, then let your kids’ teachers know. You can opt them out of sex education right? Keep them in the dark about our country’s history of racism and sexism. Or send them to private Christian schools, or homeschool.

But don’t bring your White Christian Nationalism into the public arena, your MAGA ideology into our school system and act like Joan of Arc. This is me at my drag queen hairstylist’s salon.

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TACO, Cat, Goat, Cheese, Pizza

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , , , , on November 18, 2025| Leave a Comment »

There was a time when the Taco, Cat, Goat, Cheese, Pizza card game was all I ever wanted to play with the Grands. They would always beat me because my reaction time isn’t quite up to par, and it was always hilarious. If you love a little person under the age of, say, 10, this would make a great gift. Thinking about Daddy Jim playing gin rummy with me almost every night after dinner as a child, It seems that teaching a child to play cards, or any game, is Darwinian. It’s a civilized way to impart certain adult skills – how to strategize, how to be patient, when to strike!

Well, get ready Democrats.

TACO: I can sense a seismic shift happening in our country. Unlike Hillary’s emails, the Epstein files have been chipping away at Mr T’s base. Remember way back in the Spring, when Wall Street started calling Mr T “TACO?” Short for, Trump. Always. Chickens. Out… That was more about his tariffs, but what about his life skills? Born clinging onto the proverbial silver spoon, his tycoon father built housing projects in Queens and Brooklyn. Pampered and privileged Mr T just had to make it BIG in Manhattan. And so he did, making deals, taking risks, and finally getting his name plastered on his jet.

CAT: This administration seems to be in a perpetual game of cat and mouse. The only problem is that the big cat, Mr T, lacks courage – he chickens out of going to war in his youth, then he promises his followers “No more foreign wars,” only to bomb Iran and little boats off Venezuela. He makes big promises, and never has to say he’s sorry when he doesn’t deliver, like on the economy. He is the cowardly lion, roaring and talking smack, threatening lawsuits willy nilly, but like any bully, Mr T backs down when confronted by unassailable odds. He can’t whip Republicans votes against opening the Epstein files, so he flips!

GOAT: Mr T loves to play the scapegoat. Oh no, he doesn’t take on any blame for his missteps, he is in the habit of blaming others for things that he has done! He directs his DOJ to investigate Democratic bigwigs who had relationships with Epstein, who flew on his jet, who visited his Manhattan townhouse on the Upper East Side. That place that had cameras in every room. Look over there at them, not at me. Oh, and the Bride mentioned that once an investigation is opened, those files could be sealed forever. I think MAGA will see through this ploy, don’t you?

CHEESE: There’s nothing like a good charcuterie board for the holidays? But having a president referred to as a “Flaming Hot Cheeto” because of his fake tan, orange make-up and comb-over, is just plain insulting. I happen to love cheese of every kind, hard, soft, runny, even blue. Visiting a farm in Italy where they were producing ricotta was my idea of heaven! So let’s stop calling Mr T the Cheeto-in-Chief. It is insulting.

PIZZA: Who remembers the child sex-trafficking conspiracy theory that led some guy with an AR 15 to a family-friendly pizza parlor, Comet Ping Pong in DC? And guess what, It all started back in 2016 with Mr T’s first run for office when a Democrat, John Podesta’s, emails were hacked by WikiLeaks. The resulting debunked “Pizzagate” was the precursor for QAnon and its radicalized right belief in a global pedophile ring. What goes around, comes around. Only this time we have a real criminal case, IRL with real victims, and Ghislane Maxwell still holed up in a Club Fed prison petting dogs.

If you’re looking for a card game for older kids and adults this holiday season, I recommend “The Hygge Game!” aka Cozy conversation for pleasant company – you get to ask the person next to you three questions, and before you know it, you’re hearing all about the Shark Tank project in 5th Grade! 

Had to include this picture of Poutine from Victoria, BC. It was divine!

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On the Move

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , on October 15, 2025| Leave a Comment »

Just boarded a plane for Vancouver. The last time I was in Canada was 1968, and it wasn’t a pleasant trip. Starter marriage and all. But this time I’ll be seeing whales, strolling through gardens, and ogling totem poles with my main squeeze.

Before Eugene Levy called himself a reluctant traveler, I held that title. I would be perfectly happy never leaving home, although meeting Prince William in Levy’s last episode looked incredible. Until the Lady Diana debacle, I loved the Royal Family… then Meghan and Harry happened.

Maybe William and Kate will revitalize the Crown?

We’ve just spent a quick week with the Rocker’s little family in California. Our twin Princesses are on the move, crawling and trying to stand. Kiki will.be returning to work next week, one of the most bittersweet transitions in a young mother’s life. Bob helped them baby proof the house, I cooked a bit, and we had lots of adventures.

We landed in Vancouver and I forgot we’d have to tell the Customs Agent why we were here – I wanted to say we were fugitives looking for a safe place to land, we were fantasizing about immigrating. But instead I said “Personal.”

I heard that the hostages have been released from Gaza. I read that our military is still shooting boats out of the Caribbean. And the best news of all is that major media outlets said NO to the Pentagon’s attempt to create a propaganda machine. Take that Hegseth.

I guess I was lucky writing for the Two River Times. My editor loved when I ruffled feathers in our Jersey Shore town. I reported only the truth, and sometimes the truth hurt. But it sold more newspapers and that was the business model after all. When a democracy fails, the free press is the first to go, and so we have hope today.

Hope for a lasting peace in the Middle East. Hope for the Rule of Law. Hope for the First Amendment. And hope that our baby girls will always delight in giant giraffes.

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The Party’s Over

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , , on September 9, 2025| 7 Comments »

It’s like the end of a play, the last curtain call. We’ve been working for weeks – the Bride for months and the Love Bug for years – on this past Big Bat Mitzvah weekend; and then it’s over. Our little girl has come of age. The whirlwind of cooking, catering, decorating, and celebrating has come to an end. Our Granddaughter was truly exceptional, reading the Torah with poise and welcoming friends and family with her beautiful smile.

The evening’s festivities included basketball games and food trucks galore. Phones were collected at the front end, so 8th graders could be kids. For the couple who married in an apple orchard on Thomas Jefferson’s mountain this very weekend 15 years ago, planning a party in a park at the edge of a golf course was beshert (fate). The Bride and Groom did a most amazing job!

We enlisted our cousins and Bob’s brother to help string 7 foot blue and gold streamers across the community center’s gym floor. People were skeptical, but ever so slowly my vision came to life. The Pumpkin was busy blowing up helium balloons for the arch entry, and before long the Bug arrived and helped with placement! The Groom’s parents had to quickly dry and cover all the outside seating after the morning’s rain. This party was truly a family affair.

At sunrise I’d collected local dahlias, snapdragons, bluebells and roses – it just so happens Nashville’s flower wholesaler is right down the street! I wish I had read the rules for designing perfect flower arrangements; related to my favorite swirling Fibonacci sequence, ‘the rule calls for using three types of dominant flowers, five greenery stems, and eight stems of an accent flower.’ I only had an hour to come up with 5 moveable bouquets for the day, so my kitchen looked like a disaster zone.

We invited the family over for brunch on Sunday and the weather was spectacular. The after party is always a welcome addition to the main event, we get to schmooze and kvell to our heart’s content!

The Love Bug’s Torah reading was about Lost Things. To paraphrase, God commands us to care for the property of another, friend or foe, as if it was our own, and to return it to them. To NOT BE INDIFFERENT. After all, it was silence and indifference that allowed the Shoah to happen. What are we doing as people are disappearing in the streets? When children are thrown out of Head Start? When families are separated?

Here are some Monday morning arrangements.

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Laborious

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on September 1, 2025| Leave a Comment »

Hip hip hooray, it’s Labor Day! A day of sales, and grilling outside, and saying a final farewell to summer. As I was pulling on my white pants, I had to thank all my coal-mining, union-creating Irish ancestors. All the farmers, and mill workers, the women who cleaned rich people’s homes, the women who washed their clothes. We Americans are an industrious lot.

I mean why hire someone to string a gym full of streamers for a BatMitzvah when we could do it ourselves?

The good news is Bob and I received our flu shots, and we have an appointment to get the new Covid booster. It’s almost like the government was reading my mind, except they thought in a very Trumpian way to restrict its distribution:

“The new shots from Pfizer, Moderna and Novavax are approved for all seniors. But the Food and Drug Administration narrowed their use for younger adults and children to those with at least one high-risk health condition, such as asthma or obesity. That presents new barriers to access for millions of Americans who would have to prove their risk — and millions more who may want to get vaccinated and suddenly no longer qualify.” https://www.pbs.org/newshour/health/fda-approves-updated-covid-19-shots-with-some-restrictions-for-kids-and-adults

After hearing about the latest school shooting in MN, the week after a bomb threat at the Grands’ school, I had a thought. What if ALL the teachers in America went on strike? Public school, Catholic school, private school teachers; what if they all said sorry but we refuse to come into your school buildings with your metal detectors and locked doors, we refuse to carry guns ourselves, we cannot in good faith put your children at risk. What if their one simple demand was to ban assault weapons?

Hell, I would support them. I’d go to every single picket line in town and bring brownies and coffee. How did we get stuck in this gun culture when a majority of Americans do not even own guns? It’s sad to just shrug our shoulders, to think that nothing will change, to chalk up our children’s lives as the cost of doing business. We’ve raised a generation of schoolchildren who have learned to run and hide for active shooter drills, in the same way we had to line up and walk outside for fire drills or crawl under our desks in case of atomic bomb attack.

Last night we had dinner with cousin Peg and Paul. In Bob’s inimitable way, he said he’d like to make the argument to any 2nd Amendment zealot that he thinks he should own an RPG! I mean, if it’s OK to own a military-style assault weapon… If you’ve never watched the movie Red, an RPG is a huge Rocket Propelled Grenade! “This is a shoulder-fired weapon that launches a rocket with a shaped-charge warhead to destroy targets, often tanks.” So of course, Peg asked how a MAGA person would respond to that, which led us into arguing with ChatGP about military uses and individual rights.

Today we celebrate workers’ rights – an 8 hour workday, child labor laws, protections against discrimination, and in light of school shootings most importantly of all, THE RIGHT TO A SAFE WORKPLACE! 

Oh and about not wearing white after Labor Day? I looked it up, and that custom came from the aspiring middle class. Since only the wealthy could afford to leave the city for a summer of cooler air and beaches, we wanted to emulate their wardrobe choices which switched from lots of whites and pale colors, “resort wear” if you will, to darker tones after Labor Day. I’ll let you in on a little secret, beige is the new white!

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Speaking of Death in Bed

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 11, 2025| Leave a Comment »

Last night Bob and I were just sharing some pillow talk before drifting off to sleep, when the subject somehow turned to last wishes. Bob has seen his fair share of dead and nearly-dead bodies over many decades working in an Emergency Room. I have not. Still, I’m used to his pragmatic approach to end of life discussions; I don’t however, appreciate discussing the inevitable in the cozy comfort of our bed right after turning out the light!

I may have been telling him about the memoir I’d just finished reading,

It’s a novel by one of my favorite writers Geraldine Brooks. She wrote “Horse” which I passed around to all my friends in Nashville. But “Memorial Days” is her latest work and dives into the sudden loss of her husband, Tony Horwitz, at the young age of 60. She was right in the middle of writing “Horse” in fact when he collapsed on a street alone in a Washington, DC suburb while she was at home, alone, on Martha’s Vineyard.

She writes about the resident who calls her at the end of his shift with the news – his perfunctory answers, the background noise, his rush to get off the phone. She writes about having to delay her grief in order to deal with her sons and planning two memorials – one for their friends on the Vineyard and one in DC for his family and colleagues. Tony was a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist, on a book tour in his hometown. She writes honestly, with words that cut deep into my soul.

Last night, I asked Bob about our insurance coverage, leading us down the yellow brick road to who might “go” first. It seems that Brooks’ medical insurance abruptly terminated the day after her husband died… without informing her. For a month she and her children were not covered, which naturally infuriated her. Like most Aussies, Brooks cannot understand how a medical catastrophe could bankrupt a family. And I thought about meeting a new Republican family member years ago who said to our dismay, “But we have the best health-care in the world.”

I came across this article while drinking my coffee, “So Much for the Best Health Care System in the World,” in the Atlantic. The GOP has not stopped opposing universal healthcare, but they are using a different tactic.

“Republicans haven’t given up their opposition to universal coverage—far from it—but they have mostly stopped singing the praises of American health-care innovation. Indeed, they are taking a meat axe to it, slashing medical-research funding while elevating quacks and charlatans to positions of real power. The resulting synthesis is the worst of all worlds: a system that will lose its ability to develop new cures, while withholding its benefits from even more of the poor and sick.” https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2025/08/trump-republicans-health-innovation/683795/?gift=MZkyOCULmn5OA_9_ikIP-9_sqlI0wYN6ADUWpCxNFxU&utm_source=copy-link&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=share

My sweet husband sensed that our conversation was veering into dangerous territory last night, and so he quickly pivoted to the twins. From darkness to light. Those baby girls are teething, smiling and eating gourmet pureed foods. They are so eager to crawl. I wonder if they will run before they can walk. They bring me so much joy. They sustained me through my post-fall healing journey. I’m booking a flight right now.

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Home Stretch

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , , , , on August 5, 2025| 2 Comments »

The season of family birthdays has begun. And right on cue the weather turned cooler, for the first time I hesitated while entering the pool. It was actually chilly! The Grands will be returning to school next week. How did this happen? First the unbearable heat of midsummer, and now overcast skies from fires in Canada.

We called our son for his birthday and he was busy making bottles and feeding babies. What? Yes, the twins have baby teeth coming and are all ready to chew! They sit in their high chairs like baby birds waiting for something yummy. I asked if they had a Mouli grater – the small hand-held gizmo that looks like a cheese grater upside down. No? I raved about the tiny tool, you could put anything you cook for yourselves into it, ad a dollop of yogurt, and with a few turns produce finely pureed baby food!

But they did have some smart baby food electric device that weighs and measures and grinds….it was a gift…and again, I felt ancient. I’ve been feeling older lately. Maybe it was the oppressive heat and not getting outside to walk. Or maybe it’s just the lethargy of unending bad news from T world and the scandal that will not be stopped involving young girls. Take the first page story of today’s NYTimes:

“A Look Inside Jeffrey Epstein’s Manhattan Lair: In his seven-story townhouse, the sex offender hosted the elite, displayed photos with presidents and showcased a first edition of “Lolita,” according to previously unreported photos and letters.” https://www.nytimes.com/2025/08/05/us/jeffrey-epstein-mansion-photos.html?unlocked_article_code=1.b08.884G.AM6Pxo2enw4z&smid=url-share

The picture on his dresser, with Mr T and Melania, where he has cut out his accomplice Maxwell is telling. And the letter from Woody Allen, comparing him to Dracula, is absurdist theatre. I wonder why it has taken this story, of all the transgressions, the tale of an accused rapist realtor running a modeling agency and the high brow sex offender, to shake the foundation of the MAGA faithful? This is the first time I’ve actually read anything about Epstein, and it will be the last.

It’s time to think about baking a carrot cake for the Bug’s birthday. Time to find a dress for the Bat Mitzvah. And my lipstick feminist sister Kay has found her graduation picture from stewardess school in 1958. She tells me she was never weighed or measured, and I understand why. Kay always carried herself with confidence, after all she was a single mother when the job description was anything but welcoming. Women were not just weighed, they were expected to be single with no dependents. The fledgling pilot/flight attendant union of the airline industry was the first to test the commodifying of a woman’s body.

It’s supposed to heat back up this week. The Bug has started her volleyball practice and back to school shopping for the Pumpkin too has begun; he’s going to have his first locker! I’ve told my sister she was a trail blazer, after our Year of Living Dangerously she really had no other choice. Can you spot her?

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the Rose, the Thorn and the Caterpillar

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , , on July 29, 2025| Leave a Comment »

Anyone alive in the era of Chevy Chase vacation comedies knows how to play travel games with kids while driving, like memory games or counting license plates from a certain state. “I spy with my little eye…” Well, since the Bride and Groom are rather old school, I’m happy to report our Grands are experts and one favorite is “the Rose and the Thorn.” On the trip home, they recount the highs and lows of their vacation. I can’t wait to hear, but meanwhile…

“Wanna play Boggle?” Bob gives me the look. “No…” “What about Scrabble?” Bob gives me the look again.

Eventually we sit down in my snug, him on his iPad and me at my desk, to tackle the New York Times Puzzles. Like toddlers in parallel play, we start with Strands and move on to Wordle and Connections. We share possible answers and take turns leading. If the mood strikes, we might even try the Mini Crossword.

Do you like to play games? I love to play games, but Bob is another story. He grew up with two brothers in a cerebral family of doctors. His mother listened to opera. It didn’t help that he just wasn’t naturally athletic, he even disdained golf! In Yiddish, he was what you might call lovingly a klutz – “Klutz (rhymes with “what’s”) is Yiddish for “piece of wood,” and refers to a person who is clumsy.” After his cerebellar stroke, I told the kids that Dad would just be a little klutzier than usual.

I grew up playing color war at Camp St Joseph; every day, with every sport, we’d gain (or lose) points for our team. It was cut throat, even our Jacks games on the cabin porch were merciless. At home I’d play Scrabble with Nell and the Flapper and chess with my brother. I played cards with Daddy Jim almost every night after supper, we’d keep pennies in a cigar box for the occasion. Today, my favorite game to play is backgammon which I recently found out originated in ancient Egypt! I have a few sets of backgammon; one is small and magnetic for travel, and another is hand-carved sitting proudly on a vintage game table in the family room.

Only the not-so-L’il Pumpkin will play backgammon with me because supposedly I win all the time??!

But I’m ready to branch out to MahJongg! Last month after dropping the Love Bug off at Temple for her Bat Mitzvah practice, I discovered a social hall filled with middle-aged/elderly/women playing MahJongg in the middle of the day. I thought I’d died and went to heaven. How could I join this group? Unfortunately, their next beginner session was during our California vacation. Then the Bride informed me that she wants to learn how to play too! It seems that after the pandemic, a younger generation was looking for a reason to build community, and not by going to bars or playing Bingo!

 “The game trended in the U.S. in the 1920s after an executive who had lived in China introduced it to well-to-do friends in California. A group of Jewish American women who were fans of the game created the National Mah Jongg League in 1937, developing an American style of the game and creating a lasting affinity for it within a culture that, like the Chinese, was othered in America.“

I’ve watched my friend Les play MahJongg. She’s had a game going for years; every month they travel to a different house but it’s at night since some of the women are still working. I love the aesthetics of the game – the feel of the tiles, the sound of the shuffling and the beautiful carvings. I’d love to find an old Bakelite set. And of course, any excuse to get a group of like-minded women together is a good day in my book!

Luckily, Les has offered to teach us – the Bug too! She’s not putting her house on the market quite yet, so we’ll have time to learn. And she told me about an addendum to the Rose and Thorn game. After you’ve recounted all the highlights (like seeing dolphins) and lowlights (like being stung by a jellyfish) you add the Caterpillar. In other words, you set some goals for the next trip! Maybe we take in an opera? Aspirational thinking, I love it!

Here is the Big Chill at our Y2K trip to Holden Beach. Strangely enough, Lyle put me in charge of the entertainment. The Bride stayed behind in Rumson to throw her own party.

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Are We There Yet?

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , on July 22, 2025| Leave a Comment »

It’s a glorious, hot morning in Nashville. I’ve just emerged from my neighbor’s pool after a blissful hour of meditative aquatherapy – I breathe in, I’m a mountain. I breathe out I’m strong. Every morning Les sends me a text, “The gate’s open,” which means come over anytime and swim. I am a lucky duck. First for surviving a near fatal fall in November, and also for raising adult children who don’t mind our company! But especially for my friend and neighbor Les and her sparkling pool. Sunflowers peek over the fence and rabbits and hummingbirds watch my progress.

But Les and her husband have informed me they are downsizing and planning to move to a townhome. It’s not easy making friends in your 70s. For days I’ve been walking around in a funk; I know that she and her husband will still be in Nashville just a short car ride away, but still it’s a loss. There will be no more “porch surprises” of her latest baking spree, no more morning texts, no more walks in the neighborhood. Bob joked that they will have to put a rider in the contract of their buyer – home comes with well established pool boy and girl!

I dream about building a small bungalow colony surrounding a pool for our family, and extended family.

After this last trip, confirming that our newest California grandbabies are mini-mermaids, I’m determined to make more memories. And it seems that multigenerational travel is trending these days, although we’ve been traveling together for ages. We celebrated Great Grandma Ada’s 90th birthday in Mexico. We’ve spent a few weeks almost every winter for forty years on an island in the French West Indies; not counting the earlier spring visits to Martha’s Vineyard. We even went to Hawaii together after one country closed its borders during the pandemic.

But what if we had one place, a summer retreat to call our own, maybe near a lake?

“The benefits of multigenerational trips are numerous. In larger groups, for example, child-care responsibilities can be shared across family members, allowing parents to take a breather. But the real value of these trips might be how they give relatives an opportunity to freshen their perception of the people they’ve known for perhaps their entire life. Travel can take us out of our familiar contexts, with their routines and set roles, and offer people a chance to see one another differently. A multigenerational vacation can be a welcome reminder that the identities that our parents, children, and other relatives know us by aren’t set in stone.” https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2023/12/large-multigenerational-family-vacation-parents-relatives/676382/?gift=MZkyOCULmn5OA_9_ikIP-xkc3hV2FOFyZx-5RQD57Rw&utm_source=copy-link&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=share

I remember when I went waterskiing on a trip once, and my teenage children looked at me like I had two heads! Or that time we put a pre-teen Rocker on a scooter and he took off like he was born to drive it.

Our Grands are off visiting their Paternal Northern Grandparents in the great state of Virginia. The place where we built our dream home overlooking the Blue Ridge. But they live in Northern VA, close to national monuments and museums. It’s become a tradition for them to spend that last week before school starts with the Groom’s family. And just last week, the Groom’s brother Uncle Dan and his wife Natalie welcomed the newest cousin to their family, another red-headed baby boy! Big Congratulations!! They already have a three year old, so counting the L’il Pumpkin that makes three boys!

If you are traveling this summer, I hope everything goes smoothly. May your planes be on time, and may your seat mate be healthy. May you adapt gracefully to the limitations of aging. And if you are struggling with loss, may you find a way to reframe your grief. Because we are all on a journey, and nothing is set in stone.

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