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Posts Tagged ‘Family’

The war invades my thoughts. It seeps into my dreams.

A friend from the midwest asked what I thought of the war because I am the only Jew she knows. I said, “And I’m an Irish one at that!” I try not to watch the images, still I can see the brutality in my mind. Dancing with the Torah at night, dragged out of your ‘safe’ room in the morning and loaded onto a truck. Grandparents, babies, and children, sisters and brothers all herded into Gaza.

Did you know that fourteen of the 199 hostages are citizens of Thailand? They are not just Israeli citizens, some are also Americans, Italians, and Germans. I wonder how you negotiate with Hamas; do you trade Israeli soldiers for Palestinian prisoners?

Israel has a well-proven expertise in hostage rescue, which it trains for intensively. Set up in 1957, its secretive Sayeret Matkal unit is broadly similar to Britain’s SAS or America’s Delta Force. It shot to fame in 1976 with its Raid on Entebbe where its commandos rescued hostages from a hijacked plane at a Ugandan airport. The commander of that unit was Yonatan Netanyahu, the only fatality amongst the Israeli commandos. Today his brother Benjamin is Israel’s Prime Minister and it is with him that the decision rests as to whether to wait it out in the hopes of a negotiated release of the hostages or go in hard in the hopes of rescuing them by force.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-67084408

On Friday night, a week after the attack, we gathered at home around a live stream Sabbath Service from the synagogue. We listened to the Rabbi grapple with grief. In the Torah portion, we went back to the beginning, to the Creation story – a tale of the forbidden fruit. But what if the apple wasn’t a test? What if we were given free will, and the test is yet to come?

In other news, I’ve been sewing quilted pumpkins to keep my hands busy. Bob and the real Pumpkin – who wants to be Einstein for Halloween – made a pin-hole box in order to view the partial eclipse safely. It transformed the ring of fire into a small white ellipse on cardboard! And the Bug is starting to look like a California skater girl.

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I was going to write about our glamping getaway with friends to Wildwood. But then I thought I’d have to start off before our Granville, TN jaunt, with our trip to the Emergency Department of the Bride’s hospital. And then Hamas attacked Israel.

At sunrise on Saturday the war began. The terrorists entered the country by land, sea and motorized paragliders – launching over 2,000 rockets and overwhelming Israel’s Iron Dome defenses. The descendants of Abraham are caught once again in a biblical battle and my heart aches for all the innocent Jewish and Arab citizens who are caught in the middle.

But make no mistake, their hatred runs deep.

Before glamping with friends last week, our whole southern family met up with my step-brother Eric at the Land Between the Lakes in Kentucky. If you recall, the Flapper married Eric’s father, her third husband Mr B, when I was in middle school. He was a distinguished judge in town, and he and Bob’s father shared the honor of being first and second presidents of the Dover Jewish Center Brotherhood.

Eric and I have been wanting our Grands to get together forever; he has three granddaughters living close by in St Louis, about the same age as our Bug and Pumpkin. Eric spoke fluent Hebrew and worked on a Kibbutz after college. When Vietnam happened he was drafted, and because he is a pacifist, he served as a med-evac Huey pilot. He introduced me to Arlo Guthrie and the fine art of passive resistance.

I was looking forward to hearing his thoughts on the politics of Israel today, on the extreme Orthodoxy that would like to turn Israel into a theocracy like Iran… before Saturday.

Many years ago I was visiting Eric and his wife Bev with the Flapper for their daughter’s Bat Mitzvah. He’d been a practicing dentist for over 30 years at that time. We were sitting in their living room with friends of theirs from Israel, one a young lawyer and judge who I’ll call Anat. I’d been complaining about Newark airport, about an Army soldier being searched before boarding our plane. It was the early 90s, long before TSA. And Anat said,

“You don’t think they would dress like a soldier?”

No, I hadn’t thought of that. Just like I didn’t think a plane hijacking meant a suicide mission. But her eyes changed, her posture changed, her essence changed before my eyes – Anat became a soldier. And so I immediately thought of Anat’s beautiful family in Ramat HaSharon, Israel on Saturday. I texted Bev to see if they were OK, and for now they are safe. I checked her facebook page but it was all in Hebrew, nothing past mid-September when the Holy Days began.

They should have been celebrating the end of Sukkot, a Jewish Thanksgiving and more. Last Saturday marked the end of reading the Torah in synagogues everywhere, and opening the book again to the first of the Five Books of Moses. It is a joyous time. Instead they are under attack from an enemy that wants to annihilate OUR people, the Jewish people. Their hatred runs deep. The British tried to draw boundaries on an area of nomadic tribes with fluid borders. But since shortly after the Holocaust, since 1948, Israel has been a sovereign state, a democracy, the size of New Jersey, surrounded by Arab states.

Make no mistake. Israelis do not slaughter Olympic athletes, or fly jets into buildings. They don’t strap bombs on themselves and walk into markets or behead journalists and children to post on Facebook live. Hamas must be stopped.

The sun is rising on part of my family in California – can you tell who is Jewish?

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Are dog and cat people like the musical Oklahoma; its farmers and cowboys, never to reconcile? If I had my way, we would have always had dogs and cats. In fact we did for awhile in the Berkshires with our first German Shepherd dog “Bones” and my old red tabby cat “Henry”. That is, until the toddler Bride proved to be highly allergic to cats – and that was that! Turns out Bob is also allergic to felines, only we didn’t find out until we cared for the Rocker and Kiki’s cat “Pou” (pronounced like NO) while they moved to California.

I’m asking about pets because I just read that President Biden’s two year old dog “Commander,” a beautiful German Shepherd, has bitten yet another Secret Service agent. I looked at Bob and said he’s probably a secret MAGAT, dogs KNOW THESE THINGS!

The attack happened on Monday night and the officer was treated at the scene, the Secret Service said in a statement on Tuesday. This is the 11th time the dog has bitten a guard at the White House or the Biden family home.The White House press secretary has previously blamed the attacks on the stress of living at the White House.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-66932087

But eleven times? We can blame a lot of things on stress: psoriasis, anxiety, insomnia, to name a few. But how stressful can it be for a dog living the good life at the White House? Granted, the Bidens had to foster their other German Shepherd rescue “Major” with friends after moving to DC. Still, in all our history of family dogs – Bones, Tootsie Roll, Blaze, Buddha, and Bean – we have never had a biting incident. Never. IF I had a dog that bit a person, it would go back to the shelter.

Don’t get me wrong, our dogs were brave, cold-hearted killers. Squirrels mostly with an occasional rabbit. Ms Bean could catch a bird mid-flight! Still, most of my past injuries have been dog-related. Starting with big baby Buddha, who didn’t yet know his own size and side-bumped me across our patio while running out of the rain into the house. And ending this year with our funny fast Frenchie finger kerfluffle. Of course cats can be dangerous too, just ask my brother Dr Jim. His black and white tuxedo cat “L’il Bit” actually sent him to the hospital with sepsis. Twice!

If I had to choose between a dog or a cat, I guess I’m a dog person. I’ve always had dogs, mostly mutts. Our little rescue dog Ms Bean passed away this summer at 16 years old. I’ve had trouble trying to write about it. She was so sweet, even though she came with phobias and hip dysplasia. She was our special needs puppy who navigated both the Albemarle country and Nashville city life with ease. She was my last dog, even though Bob isn’t ready to throw in the towel. Like the Queen, I know when my old age will no longer align with a puppy’s friskiness.

We all know which President didn’t have a pet in the White House in the last 100 years right? The only one? Not a dog or a cat or even a lizard? Let’s do our best to keep dogs on the Hill, even if they nip now and then.

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For the first time ever last week, Facebook sent me a warning. Granted, I wasn’t suspended, only put in detention with a “restriction.” Why?

Because I posted a WAPO article about police stopping cars in a TX county if they think women are going to cross borders to obtain an abortion. You read that right. Passing an ordinance legislators call “abortion trafficking” is the latest ploy of religious zealots designed to frighten women into submission. Here’s what I said with the link:

“If this sounds like a dystopian novel, it’s not. It’s real. Pro or anti-choice this is not what democracy looks like.” https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2023/09/01/texas-abortion-highways/

And Facebook didn’t like it: “Some of your content in the last year didn’t follow our Community Standards.”

Maybe I should feel honored? I wonder exactly what word triggered their algorithm – dystopian? Because watching TN legislators pass laws about decorum in front of Covenant families asking for a modicum of gun safety legislation, while celebrating the Love Bug’s birthday with a gaggle of tweens at a Barbie movie felt pretty Orwellian!

Republicans aside, Bob is in the middle of tearing up our house. Staining a fence wasn’t enough in his ongoing quest to upgrade this old cottage core house. We had wanted to save the original pine floors in my snug and the main living/dining area, only to find out later they weren’t really salvageable. We all know if someone were to drop dead on the street in front of him, Bob could save a life. He can also sew up a laceration like a plastic surgeon. What I pleaded with him NOT to do was lay the new engineered hardwood himself.

But thanks to the wonders of YouTube, my husband has turned into a floor guy; along with the fence guy and fine woodworking guy, and the all around Mr Fixit guy. On the one hand, he’s happy learning to do something new. On the other hand, my house is almost always a construction zone. In the past, like 30 years ago, he laid tile in our kitchen. But that was fun, sort of, and we were young, definitely. Now, he’s busy introducing his grandson, the Pumpkin, to power tools.

I find myself lost in memories of wood burning stoves and diapers hanging on a clothesline. Milestones included buying our first house and bringing the newborn Bride home. Her first tooth was miraculous. She started walking on our orange shag carpet. My first published essay was about black ice in the Berkshire Eagle. Then the Rocker was born and he lit up our house like a perpetual motion machine. How could I know that sometime in the future I’d be censored by a large, strange social media corporation?

I read last night that the First Lady has Covid. I wish her well and hope that Joe is staying isolated. After all, if his polls are still running even with a twice impeached, ex-president facing a charge of insurrection who is too afraid to even debate his challengers, well then the next milestone may be just as incomprehensible.

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It was the best of weeks. Mornings were cool, low 60s, and no humidity. There was a strange hint of Fall, in mid-August, in the south. So my handy husband Bob decided it was time to paint our six month old fence. A cedar fence can be allowed to grey gracefully over the years; OR you could preserve its beauty by painting it a color (like the black fences that dot Virginia) OR if one prefers, staining it with a natural wood pigment. And so the hunt began.

After much searching and trips to Home Depot, Lowes, and our local Sherwin Williams (SW) store, we picked a stain in its natural cedar color – an oil-based, transparent brownish/red. Bob power washed the fence in preparation and made a deal with a college neighbor to help. We bought 10 gallons of stain, pads, rollers, and all the accoutrements. On Thursday morning we drove to SW to pick up the stain, only to learn from a helpful young salesman named Hunter that a 40% off sale was starting the very next day! Believe me when I say I pleaded with him to sell it to us then and there at the reduced price, but Hunter said, “No can do.”

Meanwhile, in Maui, the death toll was rising from a horrific wildfire. I watched online interviews with people who escaped the inferno by jumping into the ocean and dodging embers for hours. I couldn’t turn away from the drone video of a charred, barren landscape; the historic town of Lahaina looked like the end of the world. In my lifetime, I’ve experienced a flood in NJ, an earthquake in VA, and right before the Covid lockdown, a tornado in TN.

But I’ve never experienced a fire, wild or otherwise. I thought of Hawaii as a uniquely American paradise. I loved climbing over black lava and watching the volcano on the Big island. I loved its people, its food, its culture. I felt a kind of existential, primitive grief for our Mother Earth that triggered my limbic system. Is climate change accelerating – was safety just an illusion – what state/country would be next?

And sure enough, in the middle of staining our fence, a once in a century hurricane was headed for Southern California.

The Grands came over to help Pop Bob for a bit, I frog-taped the iron hardware and ran back to SW since we needed double the amount of stain for our 2,700 sq ft backyard. Ingeniously I picked up a dozen donuts on the way back. Waiting, wondering if the torrential rain heading toward LA – toward my son and his wife, their dog and two cats, living in a beautifully renovated home, on the precipice of a hill overlooking a canyon in LA – might precipitate a mudslide.

Bob and I met our rollers dripping with stain in the middle of the fence on the east side of the yard Sunday morning. A job that was supposed to take a day, took three. But the fence is finished, the fence that can only protect us from prying eyes and not natural disasters. Our Mark Twain weekend ended with an undertone of terror. Did you know there is a name for the kind of wind that can boost heatwaves and spark wildfires? The wind is called FOHN.

It’s a word that, in German, also means “hairdryer”. And that’s just what it’s like. A hot, dry wind that sweeps down a mountainside, baking everything in its path. It is powerful enough to raise air temperatures by many degrees. This is the strange, and sometimes dangerous, weather event known as Föhn. This year, it has cropped up many times, including during heatwaves where it has pushed temperatures up to unbearable levels in local, literal, hotspots.

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20230817-the-weird-wind-that-can-supercharge-heatwaves-and-wildfire

This week we will see record high temperatures in Nashville, and the humidity is returning. No rain, all sun for our fence to dry. I will return to my meditative daily pool workouts, and I will listen to our Governor try and change a gun culture by focusing on everything but guns. Can we save our schoolchildren with bullet-poof backpacks? Will this be the best of weeks?

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My foster mom Nell had a number of quaint sayings, but one that stuck with me was a dismissal of someone’s style.

She was the child of immigrants from Czechoslovakia – a country that was split in two and no longer exists. Nell was a Slav, and how that differs from a Czech I have no idea but she was proud of her heritage. I remember her crying when Russian tanks rolled into Prague in 1968. She was always truthful and meant no disrespect, but she would say hippies looked just like they’d “gotten off a boat.” That meant they looked bedraggled and sloppy and maybe she didn’t want me wearing bell bottoms? She would also steer clear of schmatas.

Nell was certainly NOT a fashionista or a critic. I’m pretty sure she suffered from agoraphobia since she never learned how to drive and rarely left her tiny home in Victory Gardens. Whenever she did leave the house, say to vote, Nell would carefully apply lipstick and powder, and that was that! She was a ‘curvy’ lady who wore a uniform of ‘house dresses.’ Never heard of a house dress? It’s simply an ill-fitting shift with short sleeves that snaps or buttons down the entire front and was made in cotton or a blend of fabrics with a pattern of colorful floral posies.

The house dress style came from the modest, yet liberating “Mother Hubbard dress” as first envisioned after artist, Kate Greenaway, illustrated her nursery rhyme books showing women and girls in smock dresses in the 1880s. These dresses let women be fully covered, yet had no structure and did not require a corset, bustle, or complicated underskirts like other fashions of the 19th century. It was the Victorian fight between fashion and purpose embodied in garment form.

https://dustyoldthing.com/house-dress-history/

I was thinking about Nell the other day shopping with my sister. I’d pulled something off the rack and a young salesgirl said, “You could wear it as a duster!”

Brilliant! But who wears dusters anyway? I suppose artsy types might throw one on like an apron; wildly colorful patterns easily camouflage paint and/or cooking experiments. A duster is just a new name for a house dress, only you wear it completely open with an outfit underneath. In the 50s and 60s women wore house dresses all the time, like girdles. You know girdles were simply reframed as Spanx, just another tortuous contraption to mold a woman’s body in the male perspective. The whole point of a house dress was to liberate us from whale bone corsets and other nonsense in the same way yoga pants have freed us from zippers.

Living in Nashville I’ll often see a tall, young woman on the street in cowgirl boots, short shorts and a diaphanous duster covering her ensemble. It’s quite the Lewk for those who can pull it off. But trust me, like ripped jeans, a woman of a certain age should avoid such trends, unless you’re Cher.

I’ve come to take a more Buddhist look at style. The Flapper used to tell me that everyone has a story, and she had quite the saga. But she never complained or whined, even though she was widowed and disabled. She dyed her hair blonde and did her nails and went to work. She had to wear two inch heels all the time because one leg was shorter after her accident, and she didn’t want to limp. She told me you have to suffer to be beautiful – but maybe she meant if you’re too beautiful you will always suffer.

I grew up with two very different mothers, in a generation of extreme social change. One would cling to the past while the other embraced the future. I like to think I was lucky in that sense, I never had to follow a certain set of female standards. I was a tomboy who loved riding my bike more than anything. After wearing Catholic school and camp uniforms for years, I developed my own style eventually – a mix of Coastal Grandma today with a dash of French reprobate.

Below there is but one duster in the mix!

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You remember your first time right? No no no, not that first time, the first time you tried something new. Like your first time on a surfboard, or your first time trying to can peaches. Or maybe you remember your very first Barbie doll (co-marketing much)? The one that came in her own big box with a complete change of clothes so you didn’t have to buy a whole new doll every time Mattel invented one. Instead, your aunt Evelyn would just make Barbie a whole new wardrobe.

My big sister Kay always said I was her very own real, baby doll. My crib was in her room because the Flapper was tending to our dying Father. I was her last child of six, with curly red hair and no idea what the future would hold. No clue that 14 year old Kay would have to travel with me to my foster parents’ house that summer of Living Dangerously and stay with me until it was time for her to return to school. By the time I returned to my biological family, a decade later, Kay was an airline stewardess with a daughter of her own.

My sister is doing the southern tour. After two weeks visiting us, yesterday she flew to North Carolina to stay with a dear, old friend. Our roles have been reversed, instead of Kay teaching me table manners, I’ve been introducing her to a few new experiences. After living the Manhattan city mouse life for a half century, here is a list of the things Kay experienced for the very first time in Nashville – and no peddle taverns were involved:

  • Chipmunks
  • Keurig coffeemakers
  • Pool noodles
  • Barbeque
  • Costco
  • Motorized shopping carts
  • Panerra Bread
  • Kindle
  • Fried green tomatoes
  • Push button toilets

Kay never played with Barbies, and neither did I because the blonde stereotypical Barbie was invented on March 9, 1959 by Ruth Handler, who cofounded Mattel with her husband, Elliot. I was eleven years old and thought moving in with my “real” Mother was of utmost importance. I do remember early on having a gigantic doll that peed; then I quickly moved on to sports. Handler had the right idea though for a beat generation giving way to the 60s. She wanted to give girls an alternative to motherhood. But why the bawdy, impossibly sexy body?

“Barbie’s physical appearance was modeled on the German Bild Lilli doll, a risqué gag gift for men based upon a cartoon character featured in the West German newspaper Bild Zeitung.”

https://www.britannica.com/topic/Barbie

Thanks a lot Ruth. The Bride, because of her allergies could not have anything stuffed in her bedroom; no teddy bears or rugs or even curtains. So plastic Barbie was ubiquitous in her young world. We took the Love Bug to see the Barbie movie. We laughed and applauded at America Ferrera’s soliloquy about modern day women. I’m not sure the Bug was as amused as we were, after all she didn’t grow up with Barbie. The Bride felt conflicted about the doll who could look like Stormy Daniels and still be a veterinarian. Or maybe even a FIFA Women’s World Cup Champion!

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Good Morning! The rain has stopped and brought us clean air (really, much cleaner air), sunshine and low humidity. So far, the “heat dome” hasn’t hit Nashville, let’s knock on wood. Also my glamorous, big sister, Kay, has flown into town from New York City. I’ve figured out that as we age our bodies don’t regulate temperature quite so well; as the globe heats up, we ‘senior’ humans are cooling down. So Kay is perfectly happy sitting on our shady, front porch in 80+ weather waving at all the neighbors passing by – young couples with a baby stroller and a dog or two, our friends Kristi and Jay, and an older woman with a cane and an outrageously big sun hat.

Kay is an artist and a southerner-in-training. She attended the Art Students’ League in NYC and had a side hustle drawing meticulous medical illustrations for Mt Sinai Medical School. She is one of the reasons I never even tried painting. Even her clothes are artistically curated. She’s not exactly Iris Apfel, but at 88 she will still turn a head on the street. https://www.advanced.style/

So of course, we had to take a trip to the Frist Art Museum this past weekend. “Storied Strings: the Guitar in American Art” was the main exhibition and we borrowed a wheelchair to make everything easier. Don’t forget, Kay is only six months post-op on her second hip fracture. She uses a cane for mobility, and/or a rollator for stability when she’s outside. We enjoyed looking at each painting and reading the accompanying descriptions. Women historically were not taught to play the guitar, but artists always loved painting the female form; so lush paintings of women posing with the instrument were common.

If you were to walk into any room in our house, you’d encounter one of Kay’s drawings, paintings or needlepoint pillows: a beautiful watercolor of our Rumson home with two Corgis in the yard; a pen and ink portrait of the Flapper; a still life of flowers in a Delft pitcher. Almost every soft surface in our house is adorned with a gorgeous Kay needlepoint. I have fond memories of the Bride learning to look at life through an artist’s lens in Aunt Kay’s apartment. I remember roaming around the Metropolitan Museum of Art as a girl with my big sister; it was just a few blocks walk down Fifth Avenue.

After the “Storied Strings” exhibit, we strolled through an installation about Beatrix Potter at the Frist. Potter was born into a wealthy English family, but because she was a girl in Victorian England her future was limited. Writing stories came naturally and roaming around the Lake District, today we might say “forest bathing,” lead to her career of illustrating and writing children’s books. She called herself a “country mouse” living in the city. Eventually she became interested in fungi, drawing some of the most tiny, intricate mushrooms known at the time…

I feel like a country mouse living in this southern city with my city mouse sister. We walk across the street to swim in the mornings; we drive to Thistle Farms like ladies who lunch; we Zoom with my big and her little brother Dr Jim. Last night I made a salad from summer squash, whole wheat orzo, lemon and feta cheese with fresh herbs. Only the rabbits had eaten all my dill, so we had to improvise. https://www.washingtonpost.com/recipes/grilled-chicken-zucchini-orzo-salad/

We’ve also been enjoying Bad Sisters on Apple TV. So when we walked into Thistle Farms gift shop, a safe place for abused and trafficked women that sells tee shirts proclaiming “LOVE HEALS,” I was only slightly surprised when Kay asked if they had a shirt that said “LOVE HURTS.” They didn’t. I explained to the young salesgirl that my big sister was visiting from New York City.

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When was the last time you went to school? Granted, I embarked on a Masters degree in my 40s, but that was awhile ago. In order to flex my fingers, and make something beautiful at the same time, I decided to sign up for a knitting course at our local yarn shop.

I’ve picked up my knitting again after a long lapse of stringing pearls. Knitting is like riding a bike; you can almost always remember how, and today we have YouTube in case we’ve forgotten. Ten years ago I started to make a blanket in columns of patchwork patterns in the most delicious yellow and grey cashmere blend of wool. Today I’m beginning the process to block and finish!

But of course it’s not just the hands-on help you get at a knitting circle, it’s the camaraderie of a small group of women. There is the instructor, regal in bearing and bountiful in her knowledge. There is the know-it-all who knows everything and likes talking about her children. There is the sweet, old grannie with a face like Betty White. There is the younger woman who is determined to save us from climate change. And then there is the Republican, who has picked an incredibly complex project to knit with mohair.

When we introduced ourselves at the beginning, I said I am the slowest knitter alive! My Nana had taught me to knit and now I’m teaching my grandchildren to knit. I said I’m dyslexic when it comes to reading and comprehending knitting patterns, and I’m certainly NOT a Type A tight knitter. If I make a mistake, and who doesn’t, I try to fradreidel my way around it. I can point out the exact spot in my knitting when a certain Frenchie saw a rabbit!

I was knitting for awhile with only two fingers of my right hand sticking out of my splint. The play must gon on.

Yesterday I arrived early for class and met the mom of a 15 year old softball player who makes it her mission to explore yarn shops in every city where her daughter’s games are played. She told me her girl was a gymnast until she broke a few large bones and switched to softball. The mom likes to collect local skeins and I found out she has alpacas back home that her husband and son are caring for while she travels. I asked if she spins their wool, and she said she brings it to a business that will spin and dye it for her.

I thought about how much I wanted to keep alpacas in Virginia, and/or chickens. Bob wasn’t interested, plus it was a very expensive hobby. He was still working and had just taken on the task of ER Director again so I knew he wouldn’t be able to help very much. We were busy defining our new chapter – would we be gentlemen/women animal farmers, or would we be raised bed vegetable farmers? The raised beds won out except when the deer stepped in to clear us out.

But back to class. The conversation around the table is like a roller coaster, one minute everyone’s talking about how to keep critters out of chimneys, then we drift into the practical and ethical implications of making meat out of a chicken cell. And I mastered the mattress stitch after much hair pulling and thread ripping. And so soon, I will send this blanket on its way to become an heirloom. Like the blanker I have stored in my closet that my Nana made around the turn of the last century.

Or the lilac sweater the Flapper made for the Bride with pink bunny rabbits and big fluffy tails. It was an Easter sweater that made me think my Mother thought my Judaism was a passing phase. I cherished that sweater and sent it to my niece in California for her girls, with instructions to pass it down in the family.

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This is the week of Granny Grampie Campie!

The Grands are enjoying one full week of no scheduled activities – no school, no soccer, no day camp, nada. In other words, it’s the kind of summer we used to enjoy, that is before I was sent off to sleepaway camp at Camp St Joseph for Girls. Even the Virginia grandparents have arrived to join in the fun; so we celebrated by baking them a strawberry bundt. It tilted a bit to one side, but was delicious with whipped cream. https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1019441-fresh-strawberry-bundt-cake?searchResultPosition=1

Plump, delicious strawberries are in season at the Farmer’s Market, but you’ve got to get there early or they sell out. Same with flowers I’ve discovered. To create a kick off your shoes, care free, vacay-like vibe takes some planning – for example, our badminton set was in rough shape. The rackets had holes in them and the birdies were missing in action. I found the last set at Dick’s Sporting Goods, and now two of the three new birdies are resting comfortably on the roof of our garage.

And forget Pickleball, the Love Bug loves tennis. We happen to have tennis courts in the same park as the Farmer’s Market, just three blocks away; so a neighborhood crew of kids can just hop on their bikes and ride there like a Norman Rockwell print. Only these kids wear helmets. Luckily, we’ve been blessed with cool weather, and so far the only real bugs I’ve seen are the magical lightning bugs at dusk.

I know ninety plus degree-hot and humid days are right around the corner, so we’re enjoying the outdoors while we can. I’ve made a delightful “garden-gate-friend” who lives across the street, ie someone who freely walks through my gate to visit and vice versa. She has promised to teach me Mahjong and graciously invited us to her pool! Needless to say, the Grands loved swimming next door despite the cool temps.

Lucky us, there’s a public library in that same park filled with great children’s books and no limit on how many books you can check out. The Grands love nothing better than to curl up with a good book. Sometimes I find them both randomly reading on the couch, so without uttering a word I sit down and join them. I’ve just finished Ann Patchett’s “These Precious Days,” glorious essays she wrote about her early life and spending the pandemic lockdown with a new friend who just happened to be visiting.

I didn’t know Patchett had three fathers, or as she said her mother loved the idea of marriage. Of course, I started reminiscing as well, about the Flapper and my foster mother, about my three fathers – Robert, the pharmacist who was dead before I turned one, my foster father Jim, the railroad man at Picatinny who I loved with all my heart, and my stepfather Mr B, the judge who took me flying in his Cessna. Patchett has a picture at a wedding with all her fathers surrounding her that put a frog in my throat.

But I cannot live with regrets. They serve no purpose; wishing my father hadn’t died of a brain tumor would mean I wouldn’t have this life, this husband, these children and grandchildren. I choose gratitude instead, every day, despite a fractured finger. The sweater I’m knitting for the Pumpkin shows the very spot my hand was splinted. I have to embrace my imperfections, and keep moving, keep growing.

This week I’ll be bringing the Grands to a rehearsal for our Pride Festivities at the end of the month. The ban on public Drag Shows in Nashville has been (at least temporarily) lifted thankfully, and our hairstylist has enlisted lots of children to participate this year. I’m imagining they’ll all be munchkins in this fairy tale city!

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