The mountains have been shrouded by early morning fog. It was another wacky weather week highlighted by an invitation to audition for the role of Grandmother. Good friends and colleagues of the Bride’s have two amazing children, a little girl almost 2 and an almost 4 year old boy. They are the smartest and most adorable twosome ever! It was a pleasure to represent my generation at their pre-school “Bring Your Grandparent (or other special person) to School Day.” 
It got me thinking about bringing the Bride to pre-school in the Berkshires. I was told, very kindly, that it might be best if I said my goodbyes out in the car, instead of subjecting all those other poor children to the inevitable breakdown of both Mother and Child in the classroom. So we ended up with a family rule, maybe you’ve got a similar one in your family? “Big girls don’t cry in public.” This proved to be an invaluable lesson when she encountered her first bully on the Kindergarten bus. Warning – turn away if you are afraid of strong girls.
Riding a school bus will most likely be the first time your small child will be unsupervised by an adult. My sweet little, five year old, curly haired daughter got off the bus that day in a pickle. I asked what happened, insisted she tell me. An older boy had grabbed her jacket, which she was carrying since of course it was hotter coming home from school than it had been in the morning, and she didn’t let go. They proceeded to have a tug-of-war in the aisle of the school bus. What was that movie where the girl learns that the boy must like her if he’s pulling her pigtails? Well, my girl broke down and told me about the jacket-pulling-incident, bravely carrying her prized jacket into the house.
Did I tell her that he must like her and and that love hurts? NO NO NO!! Her lesson that day was that I was so proud of her for not crying on the bus and defending herself. This family rule must have been learned at the Flapper’s knee. But it’s tough being a strong, non-crying, intelligent woman, even in 2012. You run the risk of appearing too strident, dare I use the “B” word, or as Rebecca Traister wrote in her book about the 2008 election, Big Girls Don’t Cry – The Election that Changed Everything for American Women, “It means that Hillary as a mold-breaking, ball-busting, aggressive, relentless female candidate encountered a level of resistance…” Yes, she examines the intersection of race and gender in that groundbreaking election; the anti-Hillary Clinton cankle spouting spew vs the stupid, mean girl anti-Sarah Palin rhetoric and the slightly veiled, articulate language lobbed at Barack Obama.
Because after the groundbreaking New Hampshire primary win, the first time an American woman has ever won a primary in 220 years of presidential politics, what does the media focus on? The NYTimes talks about Hillary crying. Crying, cut to the violins!! I admit it, I voted for her in the primary, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat. At least I never liked John Edwards.
My Big Girl is laughing today since her residency program just won the video challenge run by Emergency Medicine Physicians as a recruiting tool. “We Vandy” celebrates one of the most esteemed EM programs in the country – look for that tug-of-war champ behind the guy in the dark sweater on the left. I wouldn’t mess with her if I were you.
MountainMornings 