Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country’ Category

A Few Words

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , on November 14, 2011| Leave a Comment »

 

From the Lee Park Occupy Cville Movement. The Robert E Lee Monument was erected in 1924 to honor the Commander of Northern Virginia. Did you know that all the Civil War statues in the South are situated with their backs to the North?


Read Full Post »

Symbolic Annihilation

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , on November 12, 2011| 1 Comment »

On this beautiful Fall Saturday, I found myself reading about the term “Gaslighting” and watching the documentary film Miss Representation on the OWN TV channel. Now if you don’t know what channel Ms Oprah has moved to, you can just go to the website and put in your demographic info:  http://www.oprah.com/own

Well this got my feminist hackles up, my social justice juices flowing, and made me re-think my plans to go to the gym. Let’s burn our bras ladies and take to the streets! Oh no wait, we did that. But it seems, it didn’t take us very far.

You have got to see this film! It is a documentary call to arms for all of us, women and men, written and directed by Jennifer Siebel Newsom. “While women have made great strides in leadership over the past few decades, the United States is still 90th in the world for women in national legislatures, women hold only 3% of clout positions in mainstream media, and 65% of women and girls have disordered eating behaviors.”  http://missrepresentation.org/the-film/

And now about “Gaslighting.” It is an old term, taken from a famous 1944 movie starring Ingrid Bergman, titled Gaslight.  The plot is simple. Her husband wants her jewels and her money, so he arranges to have the turn of the century gaslights flicker all over the house. When she complains, he tells her she’s wrong. They are NOT flickering, she must be going mad I tell you, MAD! Then he can have her committed, and you get the rest. The term has come to mean in psych circles that a person is being manipulated by another into distrusting their own reality.

This happened to me once. It was The Case of the Missing Charm Bracelet. In the wee small hours before a trip, I had asked Bob to hide my Mother, the Flapper’s, priceless charm bracelet. When we returned, he swore I never asked him and he didn’t hide it, and I ripped the house up, down and sideways looking for it. For 2 years he insisted the bracelet would show up. I insisted he was gaslighting me to anyone who would listen to my rant. And when it did reveal itself, in his desk where he actually had hidden it, he was pretty sheepish about telling me. I wasn’t sure if I should cry or smack him upside the head. 

Thank you to my niece, Jocelyn, for posting this article by Yashar Ali: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/yashar-hedayat/a-message-to-women-from-a_1_b_958859.html

The take away here is to love yourselves ladies, just the way you are, and don’t let anyone else gaslight you. Reject the sexually stereotypical media messages about women. Speak up, stand up, and share the light. Think what we could do if we had real parity in government and board rooms around the country. Oh, and I did forgive my hubby, eventually.

Read Full Post »

Socks and Such

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , on November 10, 2011| 4 Comments »

There’s a back room in the best little knitting shop in Cville. This is where the owner, Mimi, banishes those people who come, wool in hand,  for fellowship, croissants and coffee only to hear, “Let’s go take a look at it.” If you’re at a point of no return, you’ve botched up your knitting so badly that you need a full-scale rehabilitative effort, or your piece is just too big and unwieldy you need to lay it out on a table to stitch it up, you are escorted into “The Kitchener.” It is pronounced with two syllables, as in “kitch – ner.” My British friend Diane explained, Lord Kitchener was Commander in Chief in India and later became known for his poster boy good looks and OCD attention to details in World War I.

He believed that in order to march well, his troops needed only the best socks that would not rub at the toes. British and American women were knitting socks for soldiers (this was around 1915, before WWII called them to be riveters) and the pattern at that time used an inelegant seam at the toe. That nasty little seam would cause many a blistered foot that might possibly impact the war effort! So His Lordship developed a sock pattern featuring a new technique for a seamless joining of the toe, still known as “The Kitchener Stitch.”  http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEsummer04/FEATtheresasum04.html

Tomorrow is Veteran’s Day 11-11-11, and it is also the 93rd anniversary of the Armistice that finally ended WWI in 1918. A member of our Ivy Farmer’s Book Club, Kathleen Ford, has published many short stories on tales from The Great War. Tonight at 7:30 pm  she will be reading from one of her stories “Choosers of the Slain” on our local public radio station, WVTF  Radio IQ Virginia. You can listen to her beautiful voice live online at http://www.wvtf.org/ Or pick up a copy of The Sewanee Review to read another WWI soldier’s story called “Homecoming.” We honor the 24.9 million American veterans tomorrow and every day. We also honor those who perished.  Here’s to all my brothers who served.

And here’s to you, Kathleen, our esteemed writer! And and here’s to us, women of a certain age, who would never think of Kitchenering anybody! Only our WIPs (another knitting term that means Works in Progress).

Read Full Post »

Lust, Lies and…

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , on November 8, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Did you hear the joke about when life begins? Considering Initiative 26 on the ballot today in Mississippi, it would play well to revisit this comic sketch. Number 26 in MS is an extreme anti-choice scheme that would call a fertilized egg a “person” and would therefore ban abortion in the state, certain forms of birth control, oh and if you happen to have been raped, tough luck! Back to the joke. Three religious men walk into a bar (notice they are men). The bartender asks, “When does life begin?”

The Catholic priest says, “At conception of course.”  “No, no,” the Protestant minister says. “Life begins at quickening, when the mother feels the first kick.” The Rabbi sits silently for awhile, until the question is asked again. “Well in our tradition,” the Rabbi says thoughtfully, “life begins when the children leave home and the dog dies!” Isn’t it strange that the very same extremely religious right wing of this country are so pro-Israel? I wonder if they’ve heard the joke?

http://www.votenoon26.org/

If we were to draw a Ven diagram, with A being the Tea Party, and B being the 99 Percenters, I believe that C might just grow big enough to encompass yet another party in this country. It is that place where Libertarians congregate – people who say “No” to big government, shady revolving door lobbying and Wall Street kingpins. People who vote “No” in MS. 50% of polls tell us there is a bipartisan angst out there, people are fed up with a system they see as increasingly rigged; extreme income disparity is dividing the super rich from a dwindling middle class.  And all our legislators can agree on is, “In God we Trust?”

It’s sex that makes the media run. Herman Cain is circling the drain due to groping without permission. Our holiest of games, college football, has been tarnished by allegations of child sexual abuse by an underling coach, Jerry Sandusky, at Penn State. In our town, a UVA athlete who banged his ex-girlfriend’s head against a wall till she died, is hoping to prove it was something else that killed her. And now for Sexual Reproduction 101, we are being asked to start the debate, all over again, about “Personhood.” It’s not trusting in God that worries me. I think it’s time to donate to Emily’s List: http://emilyslist.org/splash/signup/splash01/ or:

Off the Sidelines http://www.offthesidelines.org/home!

“…women, we need you to be advocates, to be heard on the issues you care about, to be voting, to be running for office, to be part of decision making.” Senator Kirsten Gillbrand.

Read Full Post »

VA Film Festival

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged on November 5, 2011| Leave a Comment »

The part of grief that must be a selective adaptation is feeling oneself to be entirely alone in it – wrapped in a cocoon of silence. I remember when a friend’s young husband died in the shower. We were in our 30’s then, back in the Berkshires, with young children. When he woke up sweating on July 4th, no one could blame them for thinking he was just hot. He had a massive MI, and during shiva I delivered one of many meals from the community. When I had a few minutes alone with her, I told her that I was 7 months old when my father died, and that I had very few pictures of him. I said in a few days we could gather them up (this was way before Facebook and email made picture sharing simple) and make a scrapbook for the children.

She looked at me so tenderly. At first I thought I had said the wrong thing. It wouldn’t be the first time. Then she thanked me for helping her to think of someone else for a change – it was her first step out of the cocoon. Now losing a dog is in no way comparable to losing a husband, but grief must work its tentacles into our brains in a similar way. And yesterday I had a hair appointment that was booked 2 months ago. I talked with Christopher about his Tough Mudder fun, looked at his photos sporting a tall red Mohawk, and he played my son’s album, “Dogs,” full blast on his iPod dock; we rocked out the entire salon.

And Bob wants to go to a film tonight. It’s the VA Film Festival. http://www.virginiafilmfestival.org/films-and-events/schedule/

I was thinking, I just may have to accompany him. Movies are always a great escape from reality – but should I see the documentary about the demise of the newspaper industry, “Page One; Inside the New York Times?”  Or, “Rothstein’s First Assignment” about how our government forcibly resettled people from the Shenandoah Mountains to build a National Park in the 1930’s….hmmmmm I’d prefer a romantic comedy, so I’ll have to keep looking!

Read Full Post »

To a Good Dog

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country on November 3, 2011| 1 Comment »

Always in the thick of things;

Always ready and waiting;

Always willing to share with a new arrival;

Always with a smile;

Always eager to take direction;

Always digging deep for the ball;

Always wishing that door would open;

We always thought you were a drop-out from the US Customs Service; the way you would jump up on the wing of Bob’s plane and wait to sniff the door. Your excitement at smelling wheel wells around every truck you encountered. We’ve had a long run Buddha Bear, and now you can be the guardian and protector in another world where there is no pain and endless balls and rabbits to chase. We will always and forever love you.

Read Full Post »

All Tricked Out

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , on November 1, 2011| 1 Comment »

When you come from the garden state, which boasts of its Mischief Night – something I was surprised to find is NOT a national happening…really, I had to explain it to my new Southern friends – you take All Saints Eve very, very seriously. I actually made my kids’ costumes, that is until they hit that middle school age when it had to be sexy/rocker/chick or scary/bloody/zombie and they roamed the streets in large gangs of pre-adolescent, sugar fueled energy. My favorite costume was quilting a felt turtle shell for the Rocker’s ninja Michelangelo. He wore it to the opening of the Ninja Turtle movie and teenage girls just praised and loved him in it. This surprised his mortified older sister, she had been lobbying against the whole idea! My second fave costume was this hedgehog, notice the two Corgis, Blaze and his mama Tootsie Roll, nipping at his heels:

I admit it, I was crafty back in the day. But yesterday on the beautiful UVA Lawn, students opened their doors to trick-or-treaters in record numbers and with some of the most creative costumes I’ve ever seen. One Mom of three was holding a fur wrapped baby Toto, while big sisters Dorothy and Glinda strolled under rusty red leaves. Another Mom, married to a law student, pushed an ambulance pram with baby in bandages while big brother ambulance chaser stood by opening candy wrappers. And of course, our adopted Nashville grandchildren won the prize for the cutest/sweetest/most darling children of them all!

Here’s to you Captain Hook and Tinkerbell, spread that fairy dust around cause on Halloween, no matter what your age, we can all be children again.

 

Read Full Post »

Monster Mashup

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country on October 30, 2011| 1 Comment »

This morning was Cville’s Zombie Run. Since the Mayor made the race and posted the winners to Facebook, I thought I’d share here:

Terrifying right?

Thanks Dave Norris! As you can see, we here in VA are enjoying a beautiful Fall day, sunny and 50’s just perfect for the walking dead! And if by chance you are powerless and home-bound (hmm sounds like a scary movie) by this Oktoberfest of Snow up North, you may want to practice your make-up skills for tomorrow:

I’ll be on the UVA Lawn with the wee ones in costume and will be sure to report back here. Who or what are you going to be? Happy Halloween everyone, stay safe out there. Guess who and where these Middle School Zombies are….

Read Full Post »

“What is Real?”

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , on October 28, 2011| 1 Comment »

…asked the rabbit. The Atlantic just did a story on this strangely Blazing Saddle-like Herman Cain political ad. After hearing about it over my morning coffee, I pulled it up on my iPhone and watched it incredulously, in pieces re-loading itself. And it’s bi-partisan funny/weird at that! Conor Friedersdorf called it a “Dadaist Meta-Western.” He went on to explain that like the Dadaist Art Movement of the early 20th Century, it “…was a protest, but at the same time it managed to be enjoyable and amusing. It was sarcastic, colorful, quirky and silly.”

I remember when one of the kids was in high school, someone ran for student body president who happened to be first generation Polish and he did his big campaign speech entirely in Polish. It may have been around the same time that Reese Witherspoon perfect teen spoof, “Election,” hit theaters. Naturally, the Polish-speaking candidate won. I was a member of the school board then, and he turned out to be an excellent President!

So what is real? If the point of the Dadaist Movement was to hold a mirror up to the times we are living in, Cain is taking our pulse. That slow-mo smile at the end, the simplicity of his 9-9-9 or 9-0-9 plan, his smoking man ad, that irreverence, I just wasn’t getting it until now.  He really wants to get the Republican nomination and go face to face with Obama. Keeping it “Real” may hurt, as the Skin Horse said in the Velveteen Rabbit. It may hurt him like a spaghetti Western. Cain may not have a chance, but his ad campaign should bring home a CLIO.

Read Full Post »

Justice x 2

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , on October 27, 2011| Leave a Comment »

We here in Central VA have been closely following two high profile crimes of passion – two beautiful young women who were bludgeoned to death by their sweethearts. The verdict just came in on Eric Abshire, the dump truck driver from the next county with a checkered past who staged a ‘hit and run’ on one of our dark country lanes, after killing his wife Justine, a Kindergarten teacher only 27 years old. It was a circumstantial case; the timeline and an abundance of crime scene evidence helped to frame Abshire in his web of lies. He was suspected of being motivated by an insurance payout of $1.5 million. The jury found him guilty, with a recommendation of life in prison.

The crime happened on November 2, 2006 and many have wondered why it took so long to build the state’s case. Certainly Justine’s parents never gave up the search for justice, but also to be fair, our local weekly, “The Hook” kept the case alive. Kudos to those reporters who dug deep and consistently pointed out discrepancies in Abshire’s account of that evening.

The other crime to hit our little city has been followed by national news outlets since its inception last May – Yeardley Love, a 22 year old UVA lacrosse player, had her head slammed against a wall in her apartment and was left to die by her erratic boyfriend, George Huguely, who was also 22 and a member of the men’s lacrosse team. He has been held in our city’s jail and is scheduled to go to trial February 6, 2012 on charges of first-degree murder, felony murder, robbery, burglary, statutory burglary and grand larceny. Unlike Abshire who pleaded his innocence, Huguely was caught red-handed soon after the event and confessed to beating Love in a fit of alcohol fueled rage when she threatened to leave him.

The Huguely defense team has been asking a judge for Love’s medical records, something I find disturbing. The judge delayed a ruling as of yesterday until the court date, and will then rule on whether to make the records public. All this, while national and local TV news anchors are already naming the ADD drug Love was allegedly taking, and testing the waters of accidental death due to an irregular heartbeat. What ever happened to HIPPA? I guess with enough money and excellent lawyers, Huguely is trying to build his case against the coroner’s finding of the cause of death to be from, “…Blunt Force Trauma to the Head.”

What can we take away from these horrific crimes? Both young men had a history of alcohol abuse and violence, both were extremely controlling and possessive. They came from opposite sides of the tracks. Will Yeardley Love’s family find justice?

Read Full Post »

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »