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Archive for the ‘Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country’ Category

Did you hear the joke about when life begins? Considering Initiative 26 on the ballot today in Mississippi, it would play well to revisit this comic sketch. Number 26 in MS is an extreme anti-choice scheme that would call a fertilized egg a “person” and would therefore ban abortion in the state, certain forms of birth control, oh and if you happen to have been raped, tough luck! Back to the joke. Three religious men walk into a bar (notice they are men). The bartender asks, “When does life begin?”

The Catholic priest says, “At conception of course.”  “No, no,” the Protestant minister says. “Life begins at quickening, when the mother feels the first kick.” The Rabbi sits silently for awhile, until the question is asked again. “Well in our tradition,” the Rabbi says thoughtfully, “life begins when the children leave home and the dog dies!” Isn’t it strange that the very same extremely religious right wing of this country are so pro-Israel? I wonder if they’ve heard the joke?

http://www.votenoon26.org/

If we were to draw a Ven diagram, with A being the Tea Party, and B being the 99 Percenters, I believe that C might just grow big enough to encompass yet another party in this country. It is that place where Libertarians congregate – people who say “No” to big government, shady revolving door lobbying and Wall Street kingpins. People who vote “No” in MS. 50% of polls tell us there is a bipartisan angst out there, people are fed up with a system they see as increasingly rigged; extreme income disparity is dividing the super rich from a dwindling middle class.  And all our legislators can agree on is, “In God we Trust?”

It’s sex that makes the media run. Herman Cain is circling the drain due to groping without permission. Our holiest of games, college football, has been tarnished by allegations of child sexual abuse by an underling coach, Jerry Sandusky, at Penn State. In our town, a UVA athlete who banged his ex-girlfriend’s head against a wall till she died, is hoping to prove it was something else that killed her. And now for Sexual Reproduction 101, we are being asked to start the debate, all over again, about “Personhood.” It’s not trusting in God that worries me. I think it’s time to donate to Emily’s List: http://emilyslist.org/splash/signup/splash01/ or:

Off the Sidelines http://www.offthesidelines.org/home!

“…women, we need you to be advocates, to be heard on the issues you care about, to be voting, to be running for office, to be part of decision making.” Senator Kirsten Gillbrand.

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The part of grief that must be a selective adaptation is feeling oneself to be entirely alone in it – wrapped in a cocoon of silence. I remember when a friend’s young husband died in the shower. We were in our 30’s then, back in the Berkshires, with young children. When he woke up sweating on July 4th, no one could blame them for thinking he was just hot. He had a massive MI, and during shiva I delivered one of many meals from the community. When I had a few minutes alone with her, I told her that I was 7 months old when my father died, and that I had very few pictures of him. I said in a few days we could gather them up (this was way before Facebook and email made picture sharing simple) and make a scrapbook for the children.

She looked at me so tenderly. At first I thought I had said the wrong thing. It wouldn’t be the first time. Then she thanked me for helping her to think of someone else for a change – it was her first step out of the cocoon. Now losing a dog is in no way comparable to losing a husband, but grief must work its tentacles into our brains in a similar way. And yesterday I had a hair appointment that was booked 2 months ago. I talked with Christopher about his Tough Mudder fun, looked at his photos sporting a tall red Mohawk, and he played my son’s album, “Dogs,” full blast on his iPod dock; we rocked out the entire salon.

And Bob wants to go to a film tonight. It’s the VA Film Festival. http://www.virginiafilmfestival.org/films-and-events/schedule/

I was thinking, I just may have to accompany him. Movies are always a great escape from reality – but should I see the documentary about the demise of the newspaper industry, “Page One; Inside the New York Times?”  Or, “Rothstein’s First Assignment” about how our government forcibly resettled people from the Shenandoah Mountains to build a National Park in the 1930’s….hmmmmm I’d prefer a romantic comedy, so I’ll have to keep looking!

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Always in the thick of things;

Always ready and waiting;

Always willing to share with a new arrival;

Always with a smile;

Always eager to take direction;

Always digging deep for the ball;

Always wishing that door would open;

We always thought you were a drop-out from the US Customs Service; the way you would jump up on the wing of Bob’s plane and wait to sniff the door. Your excitement at smelling wheel wells around every truck you encountered. We’ve had a long run Buddha Bear, and now you can be the guardian and protector in another world where there is no pain and endless balls and rabbits to chase. We will always and forever love you.

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When you come from the garden state, which boasts of its Mischief Night – something I was surprised to find is NOT a national happening…really, I had to explain it to my new Southern friends – you take All Saints Eve very, very seriously. I actually made my kids’ costumes, that is until they hit that middle school age when it had to be sexy/rocker/chick or scary/bloody/zombie and they roamed the streets in large gangs of pre-adolescent, sugar fueled energy. My favorite costume was quilting a felt turtle shell for the Rocker’s ninja Michelangelo. He wore it to the opening of the Ninja Turtle movie and teenage girls just praised and loved him in it. This surprised his mortified older sister, she had been lobbying against the whole idea! My second fave costume was this hedgehog, notice the two Corgis, Blaze and his mama Tootsie Roll, nipping at his heels:

I admit it, I was crafty back in the day. But yesterday on the beautiful UVA Lawn, students opened their doors to trick-or-treaters in record numbers and with some of the most creative costumes I’ve ever seen. One Mom of three was holding a fur wrapped baby Toto, while big sisters Dorothy and Glinda strolled under rusty red leaves. Another Mom, married to a law student, pushed an ambulance pram with baby in bandages while big brother ambulance chaser stood by opening candy wrappers. And of course, our adopted Nashville grandchildren won the prize for the cutest/sweetest/most darling children of them all!

Here’s to you Captain Hook and Tinkerbell, spread that fairy dust around cause on Halloween, no matter what your age, we can all be children again.

 

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This morning was Cville’s Zombie Run. Since the Mayor made the race and posted the winners to Facebook, I thought I’d share here:

Terrifying right?

Thanks Dave Norris! As you can see, we here in VA are enjoying a beautiful Fall day, sunny and 50’s just perfect for the walking dead! And if by chance you are powerless and home-bound (hmm sounds like a scary movie) by this Oktoberfest of Snow up North, you may want to practice your make-up skills for tomorrow:

I’ll be on the UVA Lawn with the wee ones in costume and will be sure to report back here. Who or what are you going to be? Happy Halloween everyone, stay safe out there. Guess who and where these Middle School Zombies are….

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…asked the rabbit. The Atlantic just did a story on this strangely Blazing Saddle-like Herman Cain political ad. After hearing about it over my morning coffee, I pulled it up on my iPhone and watched it incredulously, in pieces re-loading itself. And it’s bi-partisan funny/weird at that! Conor Friedersdorf called it a “Dadaist Meta-Western.” He went on to explain that like the Dadaist Art Movement of the early 20th Century, it “…was a protest, but at the same time it managed to be enjoyable and amusing. It was sarcastic, colorful, quirky and silly.”

I remember when one of the kids was in high school, someone ran for student body president who happened to be first generation Polish and he did his big campaign speech entirely in Polish. It may have been around the same time that Reese Witherspoon perfect teen spoof, “Election,” hit theaters. Naturally, the Polish-speaking candidate won. I was a member of the school board then, and he turned out to be an excellent President!

So what is real? If the point of the Dadaist Movement was to hold a mirror up to the times we are living in, Cain is taking our pulse. That slow-mo smile at the end, the simplicity of his 9-9-9 or 9-0-9 plan, his smoking man ad, that irreverence, I just wasn’t getting it until now.  He really wants to get the Republican nomination and go face to face with Obama. Keeping it “Real” may hurt, as the Skin Horse said in the Velveteen Rabbit. It may hurt him like a spaghetti Western. Cain may not have a chance, but his ad campaign should bring home a CLIO.

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We here in Central VA have been closely following two high profile crimes of passion – two beautiful young women who were bludgeoned to death by their sweethearts. The verdict just came in on Eric Abshire, the dump truck driver from the next county with a checkered past who staged a ‘hit and run’ on one of our dark country lanes, after killing his wife Justine, a Kindergarten teacher only 27 years old. It was a circumstantial case; the timeline and an abundance of crime scene evidence helped to frame Abshire in his web of lies. He was suspected of being motivated by an insurance payout of $1.5 million. The jury found him guilty, with a recommendation of life in prison.

The crime happened on November 2, 2006 and many have wondered why it took so long to build the state’s case. Certainly Justine’s parents never gave up the search for justice, but also to be fair, our local weekly, “The Hook” kept the case alive. Kudos to those reporters who dug deep and consistently pointed out discrepancies in Abshire’s account of that evening.

The other crime to hit our little city has been followed by national news outlets since its inception last May – Yeardley Love, a 22 year old UVA lacrosse player, had her head slammed against a wall in her apartment and was left to die by her erratic boyfriend, George Huguely, who was also 22 and a member of the men’s lacrosse team. He has been held in our city’s jail and is scheduled to go to trial February 6, 2012 on charges of first-degree murder, felony murder, robbery, burglary, statutory burglary and grand larceny. Unlike Abshire who pleaded his innocence, Huguely was caught red-handed soon after the event and confessed to beating Love in a fit of alcohol fueled rage when she threatened to leave him.

The Huguely defense team has been asking a judge for Love’s medical records, something I find disturbing. The judge delayed a ruling as of yesterday until the court date, and will then rule on whether to make the records public. All this, while national and local TV news anchors are already naming the ADD drug Love was allegedly taking, and testing the waters of accidental death due to an irregular heartbeat. What ever happened to HIPPA? I guess with enough money and excellent lawyers, Huguely is trying to build his case against the coroner’s finding of the cause of death to be from, “…Blunt Force Trauma to the Head.”

What can we take away from these horrific crimes? Both young men had a history of alcohol abuse and violence, both were extremely controlling and possessive. They came from opposite sides of the tracks. Will Yeardley Love’s family find justice?

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When the Bride graduated from college, she hit the road with her future Maid of Honor (MOH) and BFF Sarah. Like Oprah and Gayle, or Thelma and Louise, only my duo didn’t get arrested, at least not that I know of… So when my MIL Ada called to say that she and her husband, Hudson, (A and H respectively) were hitting the road to bring his WWII Navy ship reunion to his group of veterans, I said, “Bring it!” Hudson had been meeting every Fall with some twenty to thirty vets from their support ship, the Zaniah, for the past few decades. Sailors were ferried to repair other ships in the South Pacific and served at Okinawa. These men are now well into their 80’s and fewer and fewer have been able to make the trip to a resort location – last year the reunion organizer’s wife died, and he had a stroke. Just when it was looking like the end of the road for their reunion plans, A and H decided to bring the reunion to them; a two person/octogenarian/recreational/tourist board.

Their first stop on the way to North Carolina was our house. We always like to save a handyman project for Hudson, because he was the kind of Baptist missionary who built roads and wells in Ghana. He even worked on the Alaskan pipeline; Hudson (known as “Red” by his shipmates since back then he was a ginger) is a regular Jack London type of guy. If he had said he jumped the rails and dug for gold in California, I’d believe him. The Bride asked her Grandpa if he would officiate at her wedding, and sure enough, he came by train with his chainsaw since he was still sculpting a tree on our property. All I could think was, isn’t it good there are no metal detectors on Amtrak. Now retired from Pastoral Counseling, he is happiest on a ladder carving totem poles! Yep, here’s the proof.

My Cardinal Totem

Naturally before climbing up on our roof to install some kind of cell phone amplifier that Bob thought was the project du jour for Red, I had a word or two to say. Well mostly I said, “No way, are you kidding?” The plan was for Bob to get up on the roof and Hudson would hold the ladder and be the logistics guy. While the ladies took off for Chico’s, the guys managed to fly over the Blue Ridge for some leaf peeping and attach the gizmo to the roof. Needless to say, they were very proud of their efforts. And I have to admit, we no longer have to stand out on the deck for 2 cellphone bars.

Happy Trails A and H. Give those vets a dose of your can-do spirit! I’m planning a Roadtrip of my own, after all I’ve never been to Graceland or the Grand Canyon. I wonder if Red would want to come along?

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How would you feel after running about 9 miles through the mountains of Wintergreen Resort, after scooting down a gigantic slip-n-slide, avoiding a fire, swimming through dumpsters and finishing all this off in a 40+ degree morning chill by sprinting through 10,000 volts of electricity? Well let’s just say my hairdresser Christopher and his wife thought this would be a fun way to start the day and have been training for months to participate in this extreme obstacle race, “Tough Mudder.”

The Coolest Stylist Ever with our MOH

Starting out as another iron man race with a twist, this day was all about raising money for the Wounded Warrior Project. To date, $2.5 million has been raised and we here in Virginia hold the distinction of hosting the largest Mudder so far; their next stop is New Jersey! Modeled after the British Special Forces training activities, I wondered what would make someone do this? Certainly not the headband and beer you get upon completion.

When the Bride was born in the Berkshires, Bob ran the medical tent for the Josh Billings (run-aground) Race. It consisted of 3 parts – running, biking, and canoeing – so each team had 4 people. I had a pre-scheduled C-section since she was breech and determined to stay that way. He left me there at Berkshire Medical Center, post surgery, to get to the race. He was a runner then, and granted had responsibilities. It took me a long time to forgive him, we were young, he was eager. Now I’m all for a challenge. I think I’ll hook up Ms Bean and grab my 87 year old MIL who is visiting this weekend and walk down to the Rivanna, slowly. We’ll rest every so often. There will be no floods or fire in our path. But we’ll talk about visualizing the next challenge, and how to overcome it, together. Cause together we are two tough mudders!

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So I was procrastinating and reading the New York Times online the other day, and being a card carrying Francophile, I never pass up a piece on my favorite culture. Combine Les Francais with food, and I’m smitten.  Of course I had to read “There’s the Wrong Way and There’s Jacques Pepin’s Way!” http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/19/dining/jacques-pepin-demonstrates-cooking-techniques.html?pagewanted=1&_r=2

To quote this 75 year old gastronomic genius, “Who want to die in good health?” Yes, I watched “How To” video after video (sharpen a knife, make an omelet), because I was drawn to his French accent and his hands. Pepin feels that the great chef has technique, which through repetition will turn into talent. “Good cooking is controlled creation,” and in everything we become masters at our craft if we continue to do it day in and day out. That could be playing a guitar, or writing, or tennis, or reading x-rays, anything. Even knitting…

When an interviewer said that Gabrielle Hamilton, who wrote “Blood, Bones and Butter,” called Pepin the greatest living chef, it whet my appetite for her book, which is sitting next in line to be read. Her restaurant, Prune, in downtown Manhattan is known for its comfort food prepared to exacting gourmet standards. Her memoir proves she is that rare combination of chef, one who can write well! A review from the aforementioned newspaper says it all:  “It’s a story of hungers specific and vague, conquered and unappeasable, and what it lacks in urgency (and even, on occasion, forthrightness) it makes up for in the shimmer of Hamilton’s best writing.”

Sometimes I’ll shoot an email link to a story downstairs to Bob’s office, which I did with There’s the Wrong Way with Pepin’s speed and skill. I may have wistfully longed for sharp knives that can slice through a tomato just so. And yesterday, after returning from the grocery store, I caught my husband sharpening the last of my knives in the late afternoon sun in my kitchen. And it was almost as good as catching him holding a baby after letting me sleep through a feeding.

Orange Mountains

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