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Happy Work

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , on December 20, 2012| 5 Comments »

Here I am, inbetween the Love Bug’s morning nap and her Mama coming home from a night shift at the hospital. It’s raining so I guess there will be no trip in the Big Bob stroller to the bagel store for lunch. The diapers were all washed (yes, she wears real cloth diapers) and put away with care, in hopes that St Nick will visit the Music City and find this new, wee one. It’s stranger still that I wrote about holiday stress right before the unthinkable shooting in CT, and now it feels like happiness may be harder to come by this holiday season for the whole country. Why did I turn on CNN this morning to hear that some savvy business is selling bullet-proof backpacks? And others are talking about teaching teachers to handle a gun. So along with learning how to administer an EpiPen shot for the occasional peanut allergy, who thinks we should require teachers to attend a shooting range?

Let’s give ourselves a break – a news break and a happiness boost. This is a short and sweet article about the 5 things you can do to increase your happiness. Or rather, the five mistakes people make; the lies we tell ourselves in order to achieve some sort peace. So by inverse reasoning, you should be able to just stop doing these things and smile. I was intrigued to find there is just one lie I tell myself:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/19/how-to-be-happy-in-life-happiness_n_2287903.html?1355931524&ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009#slide=1875204

#3 “It shouldn’t be work!”

I’m not happy because it’s just too darn hard to be happy. The author, Amy Shearn talks about her friend who is very Eeyore-like, “…terrible things befall her constantly, confirming her belief that the world is a grim place. Her Eeyore-ish, “Oh bother”-ness is so much a part of her that she seems to think happiness is simply not for her, as if some people were just Eeyores and some were just Pooh Bears (happy, simple, kind of dumb).”
121912dog5
So it’s good to remember that happiness actually takes some work, keeping up with our friends – and not just texting them. Taking time to help those in need – like the therapy dogs that walked into Newton and stole their hearts. Just getting out of our own heads for a time will improve any old rainy day!

The Bride has returned and when I told her I was writing about happiness, she smiled at me and said, “Like being a Grandmother?” So true baby girl!! photo

Here are the other 4 lies:
1) Happiness will come after my big success
2) My happiness comes in a box from Amazon
3) Happy people never quit
4) There’s no point in asking the universe for what I want

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Seasonal Stress

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , , , , , on December 13, 2012| 4 Comments »

We’ve all heard of seasonal workers, and seasonal affective disorder (SAD) when you live, say in England, and rarely see the sun. Well seasonal stress disorder (SSD) should get its very own ICD9 code. For the non-medical reader, these are the letters and numbers that correspond to a diagnosis your doctor provides you and your health insurance system with – then someone at a desk decides if the doctor (or NP or PA) gets paid. Simple as that. I imagine that depression gets its own ICD9 code, with all its reasoning and corresponding symptoms, but the stress of everyday life? Probably not so much.

Starting with the Thanksgiving day bird that needs stuffing, and quickly moving on to the next day…the Blackest of Shopping Fridays…the push is on to get going:
Deck the halls and drag out or cut down a tree;
Find our buy ornaments;
Decorate the tree and serve eggnog;
Bake cookies;
Mail holiday cards:
Attend parties;
Act happy.

And it’s the “acting happy” part if you’re feeling blue that can hurt. I don’t want to be all Scrooge about it, but even if you’re a reasonably sane person for most of the year, the stress of added or forced jubilation coupled with going into debt to serve a consumer-driven culture during the last six weeks of the year can squeeze the joy out of a season that’s truly all about giving. According to this article, 90% of doctor visits are due to stress-related problems. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/29/reduce-stress-real-life-tips-that-really-work_n_2204938.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009#slide=1814158 So how to avoid burn-out in a nutshell when we’re getting down to the wire? Easy. Put on the brakes and give yourself permission to relax:
Take a walk, preferably with your dog; EXERCISE
Take a bath, or better yet, jump into a hot tub; STAY WARM
Write down 3 things you are grateful for; THINK POSITIVELY
Help someone else who needs help; ACT KINDLY
Watch a funny movie LAUGH
Learn to love chaos ACCEPT YOURSELF
(ie give up perfection or trying to live a “clutter-free” life)

Where have you gone Betsy Ford? OK, maybe that last part is more mine than yours, but studies show that putting a smile on your face makes the brain trick the mind into feeling happy. Most moms today are working AND trying to do all of the above Christmas-related chores which would drive anyone nuts, IMHO (which I just learned means “in my humble opinion”) but if you use this too much are you really humble? Just heard Deepak Chopra say that babies learn very early on whether life is going to be “Yummy or Yucky.” So I’m starting my NEW New Year’s List
and it’s not about the good the bad and the ugly with resolutions galore to add up to more stress. It’s simply a reading list and Chopra’s new book “Super Brain” will be on it. Here’s a little brain test – can you tell which card doesn’t belong? I forgot, along with keeping Santa, I also do “Merry Everything” cards, which is much easier with Shutterfly. There’s Betsy upper left, my Rumson Clutter Counselor.
photo copy

Answer key: The new 2013 card of the Love Bug is nestled in last year’s display. Don’t worry, I’m archiving the old to make way for the new. Make it a perfectly yummy holiday and Happy Hanukka to all my Jewish friends and family…is it easier or harder when Hanukka comes so early? Answer key: Easier!

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Christmas/Holiday Parties

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , , , , on December 8, 2012| 1 Comment »

Tis the season. Cookie baking is in full swing and potato pancakes are about to be fried all over the world. Usually I dread this time of year. I gave up Christmas when I married Bob and tried to make Hanukka fun, while keeping some of my tradition – latke parties, M&M dreidel games, Santa delivering a present on Christmas morning. Santa was the one childhood memory I would not do without. But when I happily brought the young Bride to her very first Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular, I gave up. Her reaction as we left the theatre, was sobbing about how there was absolutely NO mention of Hanukka anywhere! Christmas wins every time.
rockettes-from-broadway-world-dot-com

But this year it’s getting better. I’ve given up the fight for a religion-neutral holiday season. I smile when strangers wish me a “Merry Christmas.” I will even say it right back at them. And I won’t be alone while Bob goes off to save lives. This year I’ll be taking care of the Love Bug while the Bride and her Groom are busy saving lives. I’ll have a comrade in arms, literally!

The Emergency Department (yes everyone, it’s a department, not a room according to Bob) Holiday party was last night, and everyone had a genuinely good time. I met a chatty cardiologist and a new NP from Alaska, jumped for joy with a fellow author/nurse who is about to be published (Bravo Pat!), patted the pregnant belly of the best mom/NICU nurse/friend, and danced my little feet off. The food was good and the wine was served in very small glasses. The only hitch came when we were playing a memory game, and Bob thought the picture of a Christmas tree ornament looked like a bomb. Well in his defense it was round, with a string.

I’ve ordered some actual paper pictures to be printed at CVS for the Ireland Christmas package, and I found this one of the Rocker and Aunt Cait, so I had to include it here. Peaceful wishes for a happy holiday season y’all! photo

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Sleepless in Florida

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , , on November 24, 2012| 4 Comments »

It’s the morning after. Some of you may have participated in this strange, compulsive shopping tradition we call “Black Friday.” The stampedes started early this year, on Thanksgiving night for some. I’m one who never really got into the spirit by pushing and shoving my way around Walmart in the wee hours for a “deal.” http://money.cnn.com/2012/11/23/pf/black-friday-2012/ Plus, some workers are striking, and if I learned one thing from my PA coal miner family, you never, ever cross a picket line. Maybe that’s old fashioned, but I’m not a scab! And, sleep is a wonderful thing, better than a sale any day.

The Love Bug loves the beach, and she’s sleeping like a baby here. Ever since we arrived, for 10 straight glorious hours, she has been sleeping through the night. For the rest of us, it’s touch and go. The tennis team from UNC thought right next door would be a good place to party; and their shenanigans lasted until dawn. Bob and the Bride had a serious talk with the British team captain, and that seemed to do the trick. Not sure if they used the Blue Devil approach, but whatever was said worked.

The Rocker and Ms Cait are already heading home, after trying out a driving range and some go-carts. Last night we stayed in to watch a movie, “Moonrise Kingdom,” which was perfect. Today we met a friend of the Bride’s at Rosemary Beach and I discovered the most wonderful combo bookshop/art gallery. It’s the off-season now in FL, they are even expecting a frost tomorrow night. The turkey has been carved, we gave thanks for all our blessings. We’ve had fun, sightseeing and beach walking, roaming around, getting the lay of the land. So long sand and sun, the mountains are calling us home.

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Words Will Never Hurt?

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , , , , on November 8, 2012| 4 Comments »

I’ve been on the road. Listening to Maeve Binchy and avoiding trucks in the Smoky Mountains that for some reason like to pull into the left lane to pass other trucks, very slowly. And so I missed alot of the Monday Wednesday morning political quarterbacking. And since I was driving, I couldn’t just whip out my camera, or phone, to take a picture of a very disturbing billboard. It was red, white and blue, very tasteful looking, and in big letters it said, “Obama and America.” So at first I was drawn in, it made me look to the left and take my eyes off the road for a second or two between Nashville and Knoxville. In slightly smaller letters it said something like, “Cannot exist together.”

When I was telling Bob about it, I got more and more agitated. It felt traitorous to me. When Bush was President, did that thought ever even occur to you? That it’s either one or the other? I know we have free speech in this country, but inciting a riot, or worse – is illegal – it’s a misdemeanor or even a felony. It’s not just speech, but urging others to do so is sufficient. “Nor is it necessary that the “incitement” actually cause these other people to riot, commit violence or burn or destroy. All that’s necessary is that the accused was trying to instigate these things.” Which is why the hate speech of the Republican Right in the aftermath of this election is so frightening.
http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2012/09/omg-in-charlotte-an-anti-obama-billboard/261963/

So thanks Nate Silver for your predictions, thanks for nailing it! http://www.salon.com/2012/11/07/nate_silver_nails_it/ Since I am still on baby time mixed with daylight savings, I stayed up late to watch him on Jon Stewart. I needed that comic relief from road buzz. Now can we please get back to governing? The people have spoken. Keep your paws off women’s bodies; keep your religious ideology to yourself. Math and science win in the modern world. http://fivethirtyeight.blogs.nytimes.com

This is what the Dalai Lama had to say on his Facebook page today: “When we have inner peace, we can be at peace with those around us. When our community is in a state of peace, it can share that peace with neighbouring communities and so on. When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to de­velop inner happiness and peace.” So scale back your language GOP, America is evolving and your party will be left in the dust if you can’t adapt. We will never be Denmark.

Good Morning Mountains. Good Morning Ms Bean. Good Morning Home. I miss you Love Bug.

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Friends and Family

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , , , , , on November 3, 2012| 2 Comments »

The other night the Bride and Groom had friends over for dinner. Another medical family, with a baby boy just a week older than the Love Bug. You might just say the mamas are nursing buddies too. Together they have figured out how, when and where is a good place to nurse a baby in the Music City. A corner booth in a restaurant – sure; a posh “Mother’s Room” in a fancy store – of course; in the middle of a Halloween party – maybe? I’m amazed watching my daughter juggle all these roles. Wife, new mom and returning to work professional, with a ten week old baby. She has a whole sisterhood of support on this journey, they write text and call with tips on going back to work while continuing to nurse an infant. Not an easy task.

And on the Bride’s first night back from her first hospital shift, our family arrived from Holly Springs, MS to meet the tiny Bug. My sister-in-law truly loves babies, we are sympatico in that way. The Groom was serenading his baby at the end of her first day without Mama – and she was cooing right along. We have another musician in the family – the Rocker, the Bourbon Family and now the Love Bug! Jorja’s daughter (hello, an opera singer), who is about my daughter’s age, is due to have her second baby girl on Christmas Day. The Love Bug was happy to meet her cousins, but fell in love with toddler Antonia.

She told her how much she loves kittens, and tutus and flowers. She demonstrated how to kick your way through a pile of leaves and climb up a dragon at the park. She loves to jump in puddles and dig in the dirt, all with pearls and smiles for her proud GranJorja. Antonia can even take a bow when the occasion allows! I think we have some future Nashville stars coming up.

Nashville rebuilt after the big flood a few years ago. And I know our East Coast communities will too. We are a very resilient bunch. Just saw this on my son’s Facebook page…”sam jeff and I threw a cover band together this morning and we’re playing at porta in like 20 minutes. they have power; food, beers and such. come on down.” Jeff used to play in our garage, Sam is the drummer from Parlor Mob…made me cry just a little as there is so much devastation in Asbury Park. Musicians are the poets of our country. I believe in the Jersey Shore.

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A Play Within

Posted in books, tagged , , , , , , , on October 14, 2012| 4 Comments »

It’s been a most intriguing weekend so far. Our anthology of stories from bloggers around the country, “Tangerine Tango,” arrived in a sweetly smiling brown box. My essays are sprinkled in among other women who manage to find the extraordinary in the ordinary moments of everyday life. My brother, Dr Lynn, has already downloaded a Kindle version. Thanks Jim!

And the Bride has been published too. Remember that child she took care of right before the wedding, when she was on a toxicology rotation? Remember the brown recluse spider bite? It was a heartbreaking moment for all of us who knew; wedding shenanigans were immediately put into the proper perspective. I was on another platform back then, but her paper just came out in their professional journal this month, Annals of Emergency Medicine. I am so very proud of her.
http://www.annemergmed.com/article/S0196-0644(11)01926-3/abstract

I wish I knew that the Dalai Lama, who was here visiting Cville, had scheduled a talk with medical professionals at UVA. Bob said the tickets sold out in 2 minutes. I met a woman who heard him speak about being vulnerable, about bringing compassion into their relationships with patients. “His holiness emphasized the importance of paying attention, being mindful, and giving a patient a sense of hope, peace and satisfaction with their life, especially at the moment of death.” http://www.nbc29.com/story/19794898/dalai-lama-charlottesville

Although I missed his lecture, I bought his book “Beyond Religion.” The Dalai Lama writes: “The fundamental problem, I believe, is that at every level we are giving too much attention to the external material aspects of life while neglecting moral ethics and inner values.” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/02/beyond-religion-dalai-lam_n_1125892.html

And I attended a half-day Yoga/Dance Workshop. It was exhilarating to be in the company of women who could create peacefully and nurture our inner artist. We talked about the difference between setting goals and having an “intention” for our time together – one is future-based while the other is grounded in the here and now. How soon we adults forget to play together. And this morning’s Love Bug update? Learning to play!

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Where Baby Bliss meets Normal

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , , , , on September 8, 2012| 1 Comment »

Normally, you would find some smart-alec retort here about politics. Normally, I would try and weave some family story into my opinion, hopefully with a dash of humor or at least a dollop of wit. And don’t get me wrong, I watched a few snippets of both conventions. I loved the nun and the ex-President, and even Mrs Mitt wasn’t too saccharine sweet. But life stopped being normal on August 25th, when I found myself transformed from the Mother-of-the-Bride to the Grandmother.

Nothing really prepares you for this stage in life. Gone are the black shoes and stockings of my Nana from Scranton, PA. I’m not pickling things and storing cans on the shelves leading down to the basement. I still have the sacred memory of Nana taking me to my very first movie – Picnic, starring William Holden and Kim Novak. In 1955 I was 7 years old when this classic was released and Nana told me only big girls are allowed in a movie theatre and that I couldn’t leave my seat and run up and down the aisles. Of course I can’t remember the plot, but something “big” was happening in the grass and I was praised for staying put.

Can you remember your first anything? The first time you rode a real bike, the first kiss? Mine happened on the Kindergarten school bus. A boy named Lloyd, who’s mom was what we called then a “war bride” from London, cornered me and kissed me. i remember feeling somewhat terrified and proud all at the same time. Growing up can be challenging. The simple courage to try something new has prompted Jamie Lee Curtis to write her latest children’s book, “My Brave Year of Firsts.” Curtis said, “I started thinking about how often we ask children to try things, and it brought up to me the bravery of being a kid; for a child, jumping a rope, riding a horse, tying shoes, going to school — all are new activities. But adults don’t naturally choose to do something brave. We’re afraid we’re going to look foolish.”

It’s true. We ask our young children constantly to just try some new food, while we are content to eat the same old thing for breakfast, lunch and dinner. But last night I tried something new, and it was delicious! The Rocker rolled into the Music City with Aunt Cait and made us dinner. We feasted on yummy quinoa cakes with a cranberry curry and yogurt remoulade, all made from scratch! The kale salad on the side was the best I’ve ever tasted. Later we watched the documentary “Babies” and that was illuminating and fun!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vupEpNjCuY

The Bride gave her brother his first lesson in diapering. As I watched, I felt true bliss. My baby boy had cooked for his sister and his new niece. Better it couldn’t be.

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Wood, Paper and Fiber

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , on January 23, 2012| Leave a Comment »

My home is about to be invaded by a team of dry-wall specialists. This will be the second attempt at repairing the joints in my third floor office ceiling. My writing room is octagonal in shape, with four ceiling joists that meet in a point and have cracked and ripped over time. Our builder told us the reason for this is that the outsourced guys should have used mud (who knew) and he kindly repaired everything the first time. So now we’ll try again.

Before the plaster dust starts flying, I thought you may want to know about some other artists, living and working closer to home. First of all, there is my nephew, Mark Acetelli who recently moved with his family to Mississippi from California. He does amazingly beautiful work with paint and photography. I love his ethereal figures and almost opalescent use of oils. One of his paintings was just featured on the cover of a design magazine. He is currently exhibiting here: http://www.artspacewarehouse.com/artists/MarkAcetelli.html
Or you can check him out here: http://www.acetellifineart.com/

"Three Souls," Acetelli

My wonderfully talented neighbor, Millicent Young, will be exhibiting her sculpture January 26 – March 9 at the Wood Paper and Fiber exhibit at The University of Maryland’s Art Gallery. http://www.artgallery.umd.edu//exhibition/wood-paper-fiber She works with horse hair, wood and wax paper. I love turning the corner into our neck of woods and seeing her horses grazing near their barn. And Ms Bean loves it when her Border Collie comes to play.

"Vehicle2" Young

Here is my aviary office on the last day of peace before the mudding and taping drywall storm. My fireplace is on and above it a poster – Keep Calm and Carry On – always good advice!

File by Pile

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