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Posts Tagged ‘Martha Stewart’

It’s day 35 of the Great Government Shutdown. Threatening to be the longest in history, this Senate stalemate hits food assistance programs like SNAP, federal workers including TSA agents, and the general economy. Have you felt its effects yet?

It just so happens the Love Bug’s 8th Grade Washington, DC trip was last week. The teachers had to change up their itinerary since Congress and all the Smithsonian buildings were closed. They managed to visit most of the memorials, including the Vietnam memorial and the Holocaust Museum. Welcome to your nation’s capital, a metaphor for death and dysfunction.

And what was our fearless leader doing? Tearing down the East Wing to build a huge ballroom in his honor. Renovating the Lincoln bathroom with marble and gold. Oh, and throwing a Great Gatsby Halloween themed party at his FL residence; why stay at the White House and try to resolve the shutdown after all?

And speaking of parties with a small “p,” Martha Stewart’s original big book, “Entertaining,” is about to have another moment. It’s being reissued by Penguin Random House 43 years later. Truth be told, I didn’t buy it then, nor did I buy her book, “Weddings.” At the time, I was deep into motherhood, pregnant with the Rocker and living on the edge of a bird sanctuary in the Berkshires. I had given up trying to cook like Julia after almost burning my kitchen down making coq au vin! There was no one I wanted to emulate, except maybe Erma Bombeck.

But back to Martha, Martha, Martha and me. My idea of a perfect dinner party in the 80s was two words: Pot Luck! Usually we’d buy lots of wine and I’d cook one entree – a meat in one form or another. Better yet, Bob would barbeque it. Your guests supply all the rest. Genius! It was a time for farm co-ops and breastfeeding babies on the side of a mountain, not trying to impress others with opulent place settings and marble bathrooms. We feminists looked askance at Martha Stewart, what was she trying to prove?

Betty Friedan had published “The Feminine Mystique” in 1963. The problems she addressed are still rambling around our collective consciousness today.

Looking back, Stewart was bridging the gap between two generations of women. Like my 1966 high school yearbook – the girls with bouffant hair and the long, straight hair crowd. While purporting to glamorize home life, she was simultaneously building an empire and losing her farm and family in Connecticut. It was almost Shakespearian. I must admit feeling sorry for her when she was convicted of insider trading. She didn’t deserve that prison sentence. Men had been trading secrets for years after all.

Still, I admit laughing at satirical articles about her magazine. I’ll always remember a full page layout of the different types of DIRT! Four pictures across and four down of different colors and textures of DIRT… it was just near enough to the truth to catch you thinking it might be real.

And here’s the real dirt on our government shutdown – President Obama’s signature Affordable Care Act happens to be on the line. Yes, Republicans don’t mind starving Americans in order to tank affordable healthcare. Can I repeat that – REPUBLICANS are responsible for this malarkey! Don’t let the smoke and mirrors fool you. Mr T is absolutely tone deaf and would rather watch women swinging on stars in sequins and fringe like it’s the 1920s.

And Martha, bless her heart, (age 84) is also living in denial. She’s fighting reality with all her might. Post-plastic surgery and a Sports Illustrated cover, she is still reinventing herself with Snoop Dog and stating she was the original trad wife! I almost threw up in my mouth when I read that.

Here is my meticulously curated collection of cookbooks; The Silver Palate for pesto and Applewood and Motherpie for carrot cake. And Ina, always Ina! Mostly I use the NYTimes Cooking App! The Flapper would be proud.

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In the next few days, two famous women will be released from US prisons. One is a celebrity we all know and love for her acting chops, who did the right thing. Felicity Huffman was only trying to leverage her daughter’s chances at getting into a good college, and was the first parent to plead guilty in a bizarre scheme of “pay to play” in order to enhance SAT scores. It would seem Huffman has a conscience and admitted the error of her ways. The other woman, Maria Butina, is a Russian asset.

Without much fanfare, Butina will find herself in a Miami deportment center this weekend en route to Moscow.

According to the FBI, in 2015 Butina emailed a US Republican lobbyist Paul Erickson, who she reportedly dated and lived with, a project proposal called “diplomacy”. It centred around using NRA links to influence the US Republican Party’s foreign policy and their traditionally hostile stance toward Russia.”  https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-50180445

And we all thought Russia was just searching for Hillary’s emails and manipulating Facebook ads to influence the 2016 election. Butina is like a modern day Mata Hari – only instead of facing a firing squad for her role as a double agent during the First World War, Butina was sentenced to 18 months in prison after pleading guilty to just ONE count of conspiracy. Her handler was reportedly Alexander Torshin – “…an influential former member of the Russian senate and deputy chairman of the Russian Central Bank.”

One might think they were laundering money through the NRA.

Butina grew up in Siberia and loved playing with guns. Her chief concern was herself however, telling the court she regrets “…ruining my own life.” When she steps off a plane in Russia I wonder what will happen to her? Will she be a returning hero, or will she be sent back to Siberia?

I heard Martha Stewart said that Huffman looked “frumpy” in her prison garb. That immediately ticked me off, I mean really? Martha, Martha, Martha! I would think that once you’ve done time in a women’s prison you’d have a smidgen of empathy for other celebrities suffering the same fate. After all, there are no hair and make-up experts tending to you, no aestheticians or mani-pedis happening behind those walls. I will never again buy her “Living” magazine, no matter how much I think I could craft a beautiful table setting.

So a Russian operative can plot to takeover our democracy, and she gets 18 months in prison and then is deported. A Hollywood star can swindle and bribe her daughter’s way into college, and she gets released after 11 days in prison (out of a 14 day sentence). And then there’s the old news –  a lifestyle “expert” and magazine mogul got caught lying to investigators in an insider trading scandal and she served 5 months in prison followed by 5 months confined to her Connecticut estate.

Then Martha sold her empire for 355 Million US dollars in 2015 telling the media a coverup is so much worse than the original crime. Now for some odd reason she’s associated with Snoop Dog. I hope he will school her about criticizing other female felons while they are whipping up a batch of brownies. Their friendship is the one shining light in this reality show world.

We were recently toasting marshmallows for our own private HGTV episode.

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