MountainMornings

The first morning my sister Kay arrived here we took a hike. Well, it was more like a walk a few blocks up the road but I took out my hiking sticks and she pushed her walker to the Farmers Market. It was a lovely Spring day and we were on a mission to get to the cheesecake tent before the opening bell rings because they usually sell out. I had to explain that we don’t get to order any special flavor, like her favorites pineapple and blueberry; we’re not in New York anymore. We get to choose from some local specialties, like “nutty buddy” or “lemon curd.” Luckily, they had blueberry crumb.

Somewhere between my first adventure in osteoporosis management and this last pre-election fall – almost foreshadowing our democratic demise – my daughter helped me buy a pair of hiking sticks. At first I didn’t use them. It was awkward and I thought my arms didn’t want or need the workout. But after visiting California a few times, where hiking is the state sport, I picked them up and tried again. Now, I reach for them regularly whenever we take to the Greenway for a walk with Maple the rescue dog. Maple was dubious at first, after all she knew me as ‘two-legged-with-treats.’ But my sticks don’t bother her at all now.

What did bother me this morning was reading an article about Alpine Divorce, better known in the Swiss Alps where a couple might get into an argument while hiking. Titled “If He Leaves You on a Mountain, End Your Relationship,” I can’t imagine finding the breath to talk, let alone argue, while hiking up a mountain, but lately women have been telling their stories of being left alone on a treacherous trail by their partner. https://www.nytimes.com/2026/04/12/style/alpine-divorce-relationships-hike.html?unlocked_article_code=1.a1A.JKb1.sMTGm5ckmxKd&smid=url-share

I’m hoping Melania read this article. Her little PR stunt, claiming not to be a ‘victim’ of Jeffrey Epstein, only made matters worse. We know Paolo Zampolli introduced her to Trump while he was married to Marla. We know the two men were fixtures in the NYC social scene of the 90s. It’s alleged Zampolli asked ICE to deport his girlfriend, even though he denies it. Oh and btw, he first met this Brazilian model after she flew into NY on Epstein’s plane at the age of 17. He has said about Mr T in the past: “We both like beautiful things.” The dots are easy to connect. https://www.nytimes.com/2026/03/20/us/paolo-zampolli-ice-melania-trump-epstein.html?unlocked_article_code=1.a1A.b8cs.k7LxclPTHjNv&smid=url-share

I suspect Melania knows her husband has lost his base along with his mind. I suspect she plans on leaving him before he gets the chance to leave her alone on a mountaintop.

Domestic violence takes many forms and has no borders. If you’re in a certain Epstein Class, you don’t have to abandon your partner or beat her with a brick when she no longer serves your purpose. I thought about the recent trial in Hawaii. An anesthesiologist beats his wife with a rock while hiking the Pali Puka Trail on Oahu. He was just found guilty of attempted manslaughter. Luckily she survived, and testified to feeling strange as the trail narrowed, then he shoved her. And she too refused to be a victim, she fought back.

I’d like to propose we as a nation take out our hiking sticks and get to the polls this year. Look at what Hungary just did! Eighty percent turnout to save their democracy from an autocrat. Mr T has been attacking Pope Leo, and he even posted an AI generated picture of himself as Jesus healing the sick. Did he think this would go over well with his Christian Nationalists? Is anybody paying attention to his demented tweets in the White House?

On our country’s 250th birthday, I’d like to propose we turn the tables on our commander in chief. Put lots of candles on a cheesecake and grant him an Alpine divorce. This is Kay and Bob after our score!