Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country’ Category

Seasonal Stress

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , , , , , on December 13, 2012| 4 Comments »

We’ve all heard of seasonal workers, and seasonal affective disorder (SAD) when you live, say in England, and rarely see the sun. Well seasonal stress disorder (SSD) should get its very own ICD9 code. For the non-medical reader, these are the letters and numbers that correspond to a diagnosis your doctor provides you and your health insurance system with – then someone at a desk decides if the doctor (or NP or PA) gets paid. Simple as that. I imagine that depression gets its own ICD9 code, with all its reasoning and corresponding symptoms, but the stress of everyday life? Probably not so much.

Starting with the Thanksgiving day bird that needs stuffing, and quickly moving on to the next day…the Blackest of Shopping Fridays…the push is on to get going:
Deck the halls and drag out or cut down a tree;
Find our buy ornaments;
Decorate the tree and serve eggnog;
Bake cookies;
Mail holiday cards:
Attend parties;
Act happy.

And it’s the “acting happy” part if you’re feeling blue that can hurt. I don’t want to be all Scrooge about it, but even if you’re a reasonably sane person for most of the year, the stress of added or forced jubilation coupled with going into debt to serve a consumer-driven culture during the last six weeks of the year can squeeze the joy out of a season that’s truly all about giving. According to this article, 90% of doctor visits are due to stress-related problems. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/29/reduce-stress-real-life-tips-that-really-work_n_2204938.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009#slide=1814158 So how to avoid burn-out in a nutshell when we’re getting down to the wire? Easy. Put on the brakes and give yourself permission to relax:
Take a walk, preferably with your dog; EXERCISE
Take a bath, or better yet, jump into a hot tub; STAY WARM
Write down 3 things you are grateful for; THINK POSITIVELY
Help someone else who needs help; ACT KINDLY
Watch a funny movie LAUGH
Learn to love chaos ACCEPT YOURSELF
(ie give up perfection or trying to live a “clutter-free” life)

Where have you gone Betsy Ford? OK, maybe that last part is more mine than yours, but studies show that putting a smile on your face makes the brain trick the mind into feeling happy. Most moms today are working AND trying to do all of the above Christmas-related chores which would drive anyone nuts, IMHO (which I just learned means “in my humble opinion”) but if you use this too much are you really humble? Just heard Deepak Chopra say that babies learn very early on whether life is going to be “Yummy or Yucky.” So I’m starting my NEW New Year’s List
and it’s not about the good the bad and the ugly with resolutions galore to add up to more stress. It’s simply a reading list and Chopra’s new book “Super Brain” will be on it. Here’s a little brain test – can you tell which card doesn’t belong? I forgot, along with keeping Santa, I also do “Merry Everything” cards, which is much easier with Shutterfly. There’s Betsy upper left, my Rumson Clutter Counselor.
photo copy

Answer key: The new 2013 card of the Love Bug is nestled in last year’s display. Don’t worry, I’m archiving the old to make way for the new. Make it a perfectly yummy holiday and Happy Hanukka to all my Jewish friends and family…is it easier or harder when Hanukka comes so early? Answer key: Easier!

Read Full Post »

Pro Worker or Pro Union?

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , on December 11, 2012| 2 Comments »

Call me crazy, but I’m a little befuddled by the “Right-to-Work” movement. Union members are swarming over the Michigan State House, protesting the bills that were introduced during a lame duck session last week seeking to strip unions of their power. “Proponents say the measure would bring more jobs and economic benefits to Michigan, while opponents say the laws are designed to weaken unions and would lead to lower wages.” The Governor said to BBC news, “This is about being pro-worker.”

If passed, Michigan would become the 24th Right-to-Work state. My Great Grandmother helped to unionize coal mines in PA, after losing one husband after another to mine accidents. I understand their historic significance. I also believe that police and firefighters will not have a choice in Michigan today, they will continue to belong to their unions. I guess legislators don’t want to take on those union members. Two school districts have closed around Lansing in order for their teachers to be present at the vote later today.

I’ve had two close and personal encounters with unions. One when I was teaching pre-school at a Head Start program in Jersey City. Some heavy playground equipment was delivered early one morning when I was taking the 6 am shift, alone for an hour. The trucker said he could not help me get the equipment off the truck! That wasn’t his job. So we had to wait around until more teachers and aides showed up so we could gingerly unload the boxes. It was an “Aha” moment for me. The second time was before I started student teaching, I was unaware that I would automatically be signed up for the teacher’s union.

And that seemed wrong to 20+ me then, that I didn’t have the choice. Most likely I would have joined. But I also felt that if teachers’ wanted to gain respect and higher wages, if they wanted their jobs to be viewed as a “profession,” then wouldn’t a union be unnecessary? It’s a conundrum, supposedly the union keeps the superintendents from filling jobs with his cronies, but it also tends to keep incompetent teachers in the classroom.

The President has said that Right-to-Work bills are about giving you the right to work for less money. I tend to agree. So many of our manufacturing jobs have shipped overseas because of the cost of doing business in this country. We no longer employ children, our sweat shops have closed and unions help American garment workers earn a living wage; which is why Walmart has its clothes made in China, or Indonesia, or Vietnam.

I would always include a gift of Lenox fine china when I sent a gift overseas, because it was made in Trenton, NJ. No longer, after many mergers and acquisitions even Lenox is made in China.

But wait, there is one Lenox plant left in the states – in Kinston, NC. A Right-to-Work state.
Unknown

Read Full Post »

Christmas/Holiday Parties

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , , , , on December 8, 2012| 1 Comment »

Tis the season. Cookie baking is in full swing and potato pancakes are about to be fried all over the world. Usually I dread this time of year. I gave up Christmas when I married Bob and tried to make Hanukka fun, while keeping some of my tradition – latke parties, M&M dreidel games, Santa delivering a present on Christmas morning. Santa was the one childhood memory I would not do without. But when I happily brought the young Bride to her very first Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular, I gave up. Her reaction as we left the theatre, was sobbing about how there was absolutely NO mention of Hanukka anywhere! Christmas wins every time.
rockettes-from-broadway-world-dot-com

But this year it’s getting better. I’ve given up the fight for a religion-neutral holiday season. I smile when strangers wish me a “Merry Christmas.” I will even say it right back at them. And I won’t be alone while Bob goes off to save lives. This year I’ll be taking care of the Love Bug while the Bride and her Groom are busy saving lives. I’ll have a comrade in arms, literally!

The Emergency Department (yes everyone, it’s a department, not a room according to Bob) Holiday party was last night, and everyone had a genuinely good time. I met a chatty cardiologist and a new NP from Alaska, jumped for joy with a fellow author/nurse who is about to be published (Bravo Pat!), patted the pregnant belly of the best mom/NICU nurse/friend, and danced my little feet off. The food was good and the wine was served in very small glasses. The only hitch came when we were playing a memory game, and Bob thought the picture of a Christmas tree ornament looked like a bomb. Well in his defense it was round, with a string.

I’ve ordered some actual paper pictures to be printed at CVS for the Ireland Christmas package, and I found this one of the Rocker and Aunt Cait, so I had to include it here. Peaceful wishes for a happy holiday season y’all! photo

Read Full Post »

The Buggy Whip

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , , , , , on December 6, 2012| 2 Comments »

Progress. It’s here to stay; technology races further ahead than most of us can imagine. How to stay at the cutting edge, how to know what’s next. Should we get the smaller “Tablet,” the thinner “Laptop?” One of my first newspaper articles in the 80s came about because I was tending a wood stove while Bob was carting his first “At-Home” computer up the stairs to his office. The juxtaposition of these two events piqued my funny bone. Bob likes to tell the story of the man who sold buggy whips.

He made the best, most beautiful buggy whips around. Just the right length, real leather, with handles that were oh, so ergonomically correct. The problem was it was 1896 and Henry Ford had built his first Quadricycle. You can see what’s coming, right? “And as the Quadricycle began to attract public attention, investors were intrigued. With the backing and influence of the mayor of Detroit, Henry Ford incorporated his first automobile company, the Detroit Automobile Company, in 1899. It had a short life, but Henry Ford’s career as an automaker had begun.” Who wants to be the buggy whip guy at the dawn of the automobile age?

Warning – Bob stop reading now! I just heard about a book I think I’ll be stuffing in Bob’s Hanukka stocking. “The Disappearance of Darkness” by Robert Burley http://darkness.robertburley.com is about the end of the analog photography era. When we were first married, Bob always longed for a dark room in any house we looked at. It didn’t have to be much, maybe a closet, a place where my amateur photographer could develop his film. It seems truly amazing that in the last 7 years Eastman Kodak has gone from being a top Fortune 500 company to a buggy whip. Steve Jobs was the Ford of our day.

Video stores and record stores are closing, maybe even bookstores? When you can make a memory book of photos for a Great Grandma, then type a little more and have my holiday cards done sealed and delivered (thank you Shutterfly); if our music can come from a cloud, what’s next?
photo

photo copy

photo copy 2

Read Full Post »

Safe Harbor

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , on December 4, 2012| 2 Comments »

Another tragedy has struck our quiet part of VA. Over the weekend I heard that a UVA student had died in a boating accident during her Semester at Sea off the coast of Dominica. http://abcnews.go.com/US/university-virginia-student-diver-killed-boat-propeller-dominica/story?id=17868006#.UL3yk7T3Bdg News spreads quickly in this town, but simultaneously I heard about Casey Schulman’s death via Facebook from Grandma Clown. Barry Lubin, who developed and starred as the world famous Big Apple Circus clown for decades, just happens to be my FB Friend. We met him a few times when the circus passed through Arrowhead Farm and the kids were little; and we continued the tradition after moving back to NJ, never missing their opening act at Lincoln Center. https://mountainmornings.wordpress.com/2011/08/01/did-you-jump/
photo

Lubin is retired from the circus now, he has moved to Sweden, and has been part of the faculty onboard the MV Explorer for Semester at Sea this year, teaching among other things, a Physical Comedy class. You may have seen him interviewed on the PBS program “Circus.” I’ve vicariously enjoyed his travels, even wanting to tango in Argentina along with him, as you can tell by his recent post:
“…I clowned in Ghana, I hung out with an Ambassador. I saw baboons and penguins and an albatross. I sailed up the Amazon. I walked on Ipanema Beach. America, Canada, Ireland, England, Belgium, Portugal, Spain, Ghana, South Africa, Argentina, Uruguay, Brazil, and tomorrow Dominica. One day very soon, from dry land, I will look out over the sea and I will long to be on top of it again, sailing to the world.”

I wish all the students, the staff and crew onboard a safe journey home. I know that Lubin, who helped to start a clowning program in NYC hospitals for children, will bring his kind and caring support to those in need. I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child; I wish the Schulman family the strength, love and support to see them through this storm of grief. Prayers from a saddened Cville community are with them. Their daughter will forever be a 4th year UVA student, the girl who’s smile would “…light up an entire room.”

“She lived for twenty-two years, but it was the most resilient twenty-two years anyone could have,” said Sean Saadat, a biology senior at George Mason University and close friend. “She got to travel the world, she found love, she was loved—she did more in those twenty-two years than most people do in eighty.”
http://www.semesteratsea.org/2012/12/03/remembering-casey-schulman/
OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
“Seeing death as the end of life is like seeing the horizon as the end of the ocean.” Searls

Read Full Post »

Drone or Free Range?

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , on December 1, 2012| 3 Comments »

It’s been an exciting week getting back to “normal” after Thanksgiving at the beach. Laundry is done, Ms Bean has decided to ignore us again when we call her outside, a dead deer showed up in the yard, made a big batch of vegetable soup…wait a minute. Did I just say something about a deer? Yes, unfortunately it’s hunting season and although our property is posted, this poor animal managed to drag itself next to Bob’s garden. That evening, I asked Bob why finding the deer was so hard on me, and he reminded me about something that happened when the Rocker was a baby.

We were all outside working on our garden, picking up twigs on the lawn. It was a beautiful Fall day. Suddenly we heard a piercing cry, and I followed the anguished sounds to a pine tree. There stood the most beautiful red cardinal. I gently moved my hand toward the bird, and it just stayed there, surprising me. I picked him up to find he had impaled himself on a pine needle. I sent Bob into the house for a shoebox and a towel, and we packed him up for a quick ride to the vet, but he died on the way. I am married to a man who deals with life and death issues on a daily basis; old people in nursing homes who are barely cognizant, toddlers who fall into swimming pools. Yet I can barely breathe when confronted with a suffering animal.

Although my deer didn’t make the local news, along with the “Bag it or Buy it” piece about school lunches for the week, the BIG news story in Albemarle County was a thwarted child abduction at the indoor “Fashion Square Mall.” http://www.nbc29.com/story/20228216/attempted-abduction-bond-hearing It seems that the mall security guards just let this guy go, in fact escorted him out of the building after the 2 year old’s father rescued his daughter. And to make matters worse, it was the girl’s parents who finally called the police 6 hours later! There had been much hand-wringing and soul-searching until some community members identified the suspect and he was arrested on Thursday.

I thought about that first big case in NY, Etan Patz in 1979 when the Bride was born. About how they have finally charged a man after so many years. http://articles.nydailynews.com/2012-11-15/news/35139303_1_etan-patz-pedro-hernandez-child-molester And about how that changed the way many of us parent; to become attachment types, which leads to helicopter or even drone-like parenting. While searching through my baby pictures, I found little me in a playpen outside. Bob said he was left in a carriage outside for the “fresh air.” The conflict continues, to smother and coddle, to wrap in wool, or to let your children roam “free-range?”

“Don’t Bother Abducting Me — I’m a Pain in the Ass” T-shirts, and More!

When you consider that hunting season never ends for these criminals, I would err on the side of caution today.

1949 in Victory Gardens

1949 in Victory Gardens

Read Full Post »

The Reading Jones

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , , , , on November 28, 2012| 3 Comments »

While our extended family ate and laughed away the time in FL, I was on a hunt for the great American, independent bookstore. Lucky for me, I found The Hidden Lantern in Rosemary Beach. http://www.thehiddenlantern.com

Isn’t it funny how once a grandchild arrives, your first thought in the morning is “I wonder what the Love Bug is doing today?” Likewise, my first thought upon entering this little gem of a bookstore/art gallery was “I wonder what books she would like to read?” So I immediately went to the children’s literature section and there I stayed among young people climbing over comfy footstools. I love a bookstore with soft, enveloping couches and stuffed chairs. Libraries never had the same appeal with their hard chairs and tables. Plus, you couldn’t talk. I think things may have changed since the days of Marion the Librarian.

I had just finished Anna Quindlen’s “Every Last One,” which in hindsight, I should have kept at home. The plot twist is rather tragic and not beach reading material. Believe me, if you have teenagers, wait a few years to read this book. So I guess I needed a break from a novel, and turned to ladybugs and lions. I was missing my old Fair Haven bookstore, where the owners knew my name and would recommend great reads every time I dropped in. And this morning, by sheer luck, I found this article on NPR – http://www.npr.org/2012/11/27/165482333/librarian-nancy-pearls-picks-for-the-omnivorous-reader

Here is a librarian willing to share her secrets for picking books, “…without concern for whether they’re fiction or nonfiction, genre or not, or aimed or classified as being for children or teens. Because I am an omnivorous reader, at first glance my choices always seem to me to be completely higgledy-piggledy, with no book bearing any similarity to any other.” You’ve gotta love this in a librarian. You know how they ask celebrities what other job they may choose if (acting/music/sports/Kardashian) didn’t work out? I would be a librarian, a school librarian! Students would actually come to me for advice, imagine that. Oh, and I’d add couches to the library.

But back to devouring books. I’m currently reading “The House of Tyneford” by Natasha Solomons. It’s bridging the gap until Downton Abbey returns in January. And one last thought. All week everyone was saying how much the Love Bug looked like her Mama, including me. Then someone mentioned how much she looked like moi, which led me to dig in the basement for my baby pictures. The Flapper is sitting on a couch, with her broken dancer’s legs straight. Notice the ubiquitous cigarette. This must have been in PA, after she was released from the hospital. I have teeth so I’m a bit older, still. What do you think?

Read Full Post »

“Charity Begins at Home”

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , , , , , on November 27, 2012| Leave a Comment »

This was another phrase the Flapper used regularly. As a young child, I wasn’t quite sure what she meant. She was living “hand to mouth” for many years; widowed, crippled by a drunk driver, small children at home. She was radically frugal, as many Depression era people could be, mending clothes and never throwing out food, always finding creative ways to serve leftovers, if we had any. Too proud to take help from the Salvation Army, I thought she meant we take care of our own – save money for my brothers so they could go to college. If there was some left, maybe I’d be able to go, the last of 6. When you grow up poor, having new shoes on your feet and good food on the table was enough. After all, we had each other. Charity was something you tried to avoid, there was little or nothing left to give at the end of the year.

I tend to think of it differently now. Today is “Giving Tuesday” http://givingtuesday.org: “We have a day for giving thanks. We have two for getting deals. This year help create #GivingTuesday™, the giving season’s opening day.”

Bob and I tend to give to those causes we are passionate about, like the Salvation Army. Not only do they have a history with my family, they seem to be the first to show up after a natural disaster. I am also deeply committed to women’s reproductive health and saving Roe vs Wade. It is not counter-intuitive to think that abortion rates would fall in this country with increased access to contraception. So Planned Parenthood is on my list: http://news.yahoo.com/us-abortions-fall-5-pct-biggest-drop-decade-171356037.html And I’m not thinking twice about it. Donating to our colleges will also be on the list.

But if we take my Mother’s advice further, charitable giving also includes delivering bags of food to the local Food Bank. Buying the clothes and toys listed on a giving tree for a disadvantaged child in our community. Volunteering at the Charlottesville Free Clinic. And when our children were young, we would help to serve Christmas dinner at a local church through our synagogue. I can’t stress how important modeling this kind of service is for your children. Time or money, if you can donate to a cause that resonates with you, all the better. Here is a quick read to help you navigate websites for different charities, It’s important to do the research.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/nextavenue/2012/11/26/6-mistakes-to-avoid-when-giving-to-charity/

Hurricane Sandy relief efforts will be foremost in my thoughts this year. The Parlor Mob’s music was set to this surfer’s American Red Cross appeal: http://www.surfermag.com/videos/jersey-love/ “There’s nothin’ like Jersey when it’s good.” But if you really want to help our area, there is always Woody’s in Sea Bright, or what is left standing in Sea Bright. “Like” this Facebook page to see what our old neighbors need: https://www.facebook.com/SeaBrightRising?fref=ts

And as my editor reminded me, our little stocking stuffer book, “Tangerine Tango” (just click on the book in the margin) is donating its profits to fight Huntington’s Disease http://www.hdsa.org If you’re not familiar with her blog, I can highly recommend Lisa’s slice of NJ life! http://cyclingrandma.wordpress.com. Happy Giving everyone.

Read Full Post »

Sleepless in Florida

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , , on November 24, 2012| 4 Comments »

It’s the morning after. Some of you may have participated in this strange, compulsive shopping tradition we call “Black Friday.” The stampedes started early this year, on Thanksgiving night for some. I’m one who never really got into the spirit by pushing and shoving my way around Walmart in the wee hours for a “deal.” http://money.cnn.com/2012/11/23/pf/black-friday-2012/ Plus, some workers are striking, and if I learned one thing from my PA coal miner family, you never, ever cross a picket line. Maybe that’s old fashioned, but I’m not a scab! And, sleep is a wonderful thing, better than a sale any day.

The Love Bug loves the beach, and she’s sleeping like a baby here. Ever since we arrived, for 10 straight glorious hours, she has been sleeping through the night. For the rest of us, it’s touch and go. The tennis team from UNC thought right next door would be a good place to party; and their shenanigans lasted until dawn. Bob and the Bride had a serious talk with the British team captain, and that seemed to do the trick. Not sure if they used the Blue Devil approach, but whatever was said worked.

The Rocker and Ms Cait are already heading home, after trying out a driving range and some go-carts. Last night we stayed in to watch a movie, “Moonrise Kingdom,” which was perfect. Today we met a friend of the Bride’s at Rosemary Beach and I discovered the most wonderful combo bookshop/art gallery. It’s the off-season now in FL, they are even expecting a frost tomorrow night. The turkey has been carved, we gave thanks for all our blessings. We’ve had fun, sightseeing and beach walking, roaming around, getting the lay of the land. So long sand and sun, the mountains are calling us home.

Read Full Post »

Chillin Beach-Style

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , on November 21, 2012| 2 Comments »

It’s morning by the beach and we’re all up. Scratch that. The Love Bug is taking her morning nap. She was a trooper on the plane. Wide eyed and taking it all in until it was dinner time, then she slept until wheels down. Today she gets to see her Rocker Uncle and Ms Cait again, and meet her extended Big Chill family. Do you know about the Big Chill?

“I’ve got sunshine, on a cloudy day.” We all met in high school, a nerd squad with Broadway ambitions. People laugh, because most only know that the boys went to Woodstock together (remember I went to Catholic school). But we were all in the Drama Club in the late 60s and could run through Guys and Dolls with little provocation. Only one couple has divorced, leaving our old friend an expatriate in Viet Nam. Another couple is absent, closing on a new house in VA, so we’ll be closer in the near future. But this trip is historic in a way, the 3rd generation of Chillers has met – 18 month old Carter from Atlanta and the Love Bug, aka “Bout du Chou” have finally been introduced. We also have two grandbaby girls in upstate NY waiting in the wings. And we have another Big Chill wedding planned for next year, the daughter of our soon-to-be VA neighbors. It seems lately we see each other more than once a year!

There should be a name for that type of friend. One you may see only once in awhile, but just as soon as you do, it’s old home week. It’s like they know your innards, you can almost never surprise them – well, except when I learned that Bernie was an ace accordion player. And laughing is inevitable, jokes are known almost before they fall from your mouth, almost as soon as you make eye contact. They are the opposite of “fair weather” friends. Because you know they would be there, in a heartbeat, in a crisis. “Foul weather” friends? That doesn’t do it justice!

I have decided to take a sabbatical from the news this week. If somebody wants to start a war, so be it. What if they made a war, and nobody came? One person can make a difference, and I’m starting right here, right now. Tell me 3 things you are grateful for this Thanksgiving. I am grateful for old friends…for sunny, happy days, and for my family.

Read Full Post »

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »