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Archive for the ‘Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country’ Category

Kiss Me I’m Irish

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , on March 17, 2015| Leave a Comment »

Happy St Patrick’s Day to you and yours. It doesn’t matter if you make corned beef and cabbage tonight, or soda bread – recipe for the authentic loaf here: http://www.finecooking.com/articles/how-to-make-real-irish-soda-bread.aspx

And it’s OK not to wear green, or drink a green beer, or eat a green bagel either.

Just pucker up and kiss me if you see me today, cause I’m Irish and worthy of a little smooch!

The priest at Sacred Heart Parish told me I had “The map of Ireland all over your face!” One of my first memories in fact, after Sister Mary Claire in 1st Grade smacking my knees with a ruler for chewing gum in Mass, was being singled out in class for my looks. Nobody laughed, thankfully. The priest’s comment was meant as a compliment I’m sure, but it left me wishing I could blend into the woodwork.

With my red hair, and the freckles all over my nose…I prayed for dark hair, to be like everyone else.

But that didn’t work, and so I grew into my Irishness. After all, it’s rare today to find anyone 100% anything, we are all a conglomeration of ethnic genes in this country, a rainbow of assimilated cultures. Our diversity is what makes us strong. And my wish has come true btw, we have a little ginger grandson! Who is so handsome, the Bride will need a shillelagh to beat the girls away from him (this was a saying in the Flapper’s house about my brother Michael, (let it be said I’m against domestic violence of any sort)!!

And for the first time ever, this year the LGBT community could march in the Boston parade. So let’s all celebrate today because we’ve got a great Pope, the crocus are up, and Spring is right around the corner. Because it’s good for the species to be different. Yesterday it was 80 in Cville!

And I’ll raise a glass of tea to Bob, who is like a saint. He can single-handedly remove poisonous snakes from our yard and find anything I happen to lose.

Here is a picture of me with the Lynn matriarch in Ballina County Mayo, “God Help Us.” I was just getting over West Nile on my first trip to Ireland, and this is our family’s ancestral home on 600 acres. The barn is bigger than the house, and like the Irish people, our hearts are bigger than anything!  Chris and Mary Gilboy Old Homestead 20150317 BIf you’d like to follow my Kiss Me I’m Irish Board on Pinterest, I’m @mpjamma

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The Tree

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country on March 10, 2015| Leave a Comment »

Our time here is almost up, so I thought we’d leave you with a small photo journal. 

We had the best meal of our trip under a Tamarin tree. 



We did a lot of reading. 



We discussed the Importance of Liberte. 



I learned how to take a panorama picture with my phone, not well I might add.  



And I let my son beat me at backgammon oui! Then we saw a Jasper Johns exhibit. Until next year. 



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Masquerade

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country on March 7, 2015| Leave a Comment »

We just missed Carnivale. That day before Lent when all bets are off and seemingly normal people don costumes and parade in the street. On this island I’ve seen Marie Antoinette, a gorilla, a bubble girl dressed in cut-up plastic bottles, and an airplane. 

And thanks to my MIL Ada, I’ve been reminded Purim would be next. A holiday that found Bob once dressed like an Irish fairy and our temple president wearing a Super Jew hero costume! And like Carnevale, there will be tasty sweets to go along with all the whimsy. 

Sometimes the connections between Christianity and Judaism are obvious, like all those eggs at Easter and the egg on the Seder plate. I hadn’t thought about putting on a mask to hide our darker side, that deeper aggressive instinct in us all as a link in our combined culture. We Americans think more of Halloween as that fun space in time, but for the Christian world it’s really Carnevale. 

So it was surprising to read about a similar festival in Japan. Our villa is bulging with books, and I happened to pick up “Geisha, a Life,” by Mineko Iwasaki. It was maybe only two sentences, about Setsubun, a time in February when people dress up in costumes. Now you might think that geisha are always in costume, and you’d be right. At least when they were out at night entertaining their clients. Their exquisite kimonos, reflecting each season, could cost nearly ten thousand dollars each. And no, they are not high class call girls. 

But even the women of the Gion Kobu district would wear something different for Setsubun, they would pick a theme and run with it. 

So it’s a universal condition, the need to play at being someone else in the middle of winter. To try out a different persona and see how it fits. In its way, we are reminded that everything will change. That lawyers can be super heroes and designers can be record players. And some can touch the sky. 



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Les Enfants

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country on March 4, 2015| Leave a Comment »

The children have arrived. They bring enthusiasm with them and youth. Our adult children are happy, in love with this island almost as much as we are; with its hills, beaches and rainbows. 

The Rocker was about five when he first tagged along on this journey. I remember him talking to a parrot in a cafe, and kindly accepting the offer of a boogie board from a stranger on the beach. He bounced around in the back of a Mini Moke, until he could steer his own scooter into town. 

At first we thought there was nothing here for him to “do.” Twenty odd years ago, there was no entertainment, no TV, no video games, no mini golf! But before we knew this would be good for our family, we became unplugged here. And we talked. 

People still ask us what we “do” all day long, we simply smile. 

We read books. We play backgammon. And we still swim every day. And we try to read the French daily newspaper. His French teacher would be so proud. Ms Cait, our other daughter, has been practicing her French language skills. There is the food of course. 

But we miss the Bride and her family. Their schedule didn’t allow a vacation in March. I’m hoping the big Nashville freeze is melting away the winter. That crocus are lurking beneath the ice. 

Spring is on the horizon. 



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Fly Away

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country on March 1, 2015| 1 Comment »

When I was very young I used to dream that I could fly. Almost every night I’d soar beneath the stars on the ceiling of Grand Central Station. When these dreams stopped, I missed that feeling of freedom. Now I think it’s odd that my preteen dreamself was actually trapped in a train station. 

35,000 feet above the earth, Bob and I shared earbuds to watch the movie Birdman on an iPad. It wasn’t always easy to hear the dialogue in one ear with flight attendants serving drinks, but we managed. Michael Keaton played a washed up actor (or maybe a celebrity) performing in a play on Broadway. A play within a play. 

We loved the movie except for one thing. The drums were disconcerting. Every time Keaton, who was famous for playing Birdman a Hollywood super hero, heard that little voice in his head, we’d get the drum roll. Alright already, we get it. He’s a tortured soul, looking for redemption, most likely psychotic since he thinks he can still fly. 

Like his famous former self. Like my early life in dreams. Flying is how Bob relaxes. He will most likely be certified again to land on this little spit of a runway. Turn left at Pain du Sucre, climb a little between two mountains, then dive like a pelican for the airport. It’s tricky business. 

The doves are back cooing at me, they want their croissant. And yesterday we found a turtle in our bathroom. If I could pick my own super power it would have to be flying. 



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Pirates on Pointe Milou

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country on February 26, 2015| 2 Comments »

After weeks of sub-freezing temperatures and frozen water pipes, Bob and I have escaped. We landed on our favorite French island yesterday and today we are slowing down. Two mourning doves gingerly approached our breakfast table, but so far no turtles or iguanas have appeared in this mystical landscape. 

We started coming here in the middle of winter because Bob could never leave the hospital in the summer when new interns arrived to hone their craft.  Leaving a frozen tundra behind quickly became second nature. The antidote to his life in an ER where you never know what to expect next. 

Here we expect to be kissed by the sun, hopefully not burned, to swim in the turquoise sea, and to practice our French. Twenty five years ago when we first came here, we were cut off from civilization. Today we have too much connectivity; wi fi and international CNN at our fingertips. 

But don’t worry if you don’t hear from me for awhile. We have decided to be “paradise pirates” and leave our devices alone. An artist here burned these words in copper and wood to honor the peaceful instincts of this 18th Century band of brothers:

TO WAKE UP AND BE LIKE THE WEATHER, TO BE NO LONGER THE BROKEN HEARTED SERVANTS OF MAD KINGS

I can only wish for you that there is a special place in your lives, a place to disconnect and wake up, if only for a little while. 



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“You’ll Come Through”

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , on February 24, 2015| 2 Comments »

Anne Lamott is one of my favorite writers. A friend from my Rumson book club gave me my first fix of Anne. Bob and I were preparing to move to the Blue Ridge, my youngest was heading off to college, my home on the tributary of the Shrewsbury River was filled with packed boxes. I was recovering from a severe bout of West Nile, putting steroid drops in my eyes every two hours. Hard change doesn’t come easily to me, and this move was proving to be extremely hard. Polli gave me the book “Traveling Mercies,” and inscribed:

I will miss you. I have loved having you here on Buena Vista as a neighbor and dear friend. Now the neighbor part changes, but never the dear friend! Enjoy Anne Lamott’s irreverent spirituality…

Anne is a recovering addict and alcoholic, she writes about it shamelessly. In fact, that’s one of the things I love about her, the shameless part. She’s also into Christianity, and I thought nah, I’m not going to enjoy this journey so much. Look how I fought to leave all those shaming, stern nuns behind; look how I married a Jewish man and raised my children Jewish. But finding grace is nothing to sneeze about, and Anne found it living on a houseboat and carrying on with a married man.

She woke up one morning and poured the wine and box of pills over the side of the boat, got into recovery and was baptized. Then she immediately got pregnant and her best friend discovered she had stage four breast cancer – she had to raise a child and help her friend prepare to die simultaneously. And i thought I had problems.

Here is Kelly Corrigan’s epic interview with Anne Lamott. https://medium.com/foreword/w-a-t-c-h-be1a0b70368e just for you.
I’m currently reading “Small Victories, Spotting Improbable Moments of Grace.” Because I need her now more than ever. She tells us not to try and fix things that are unfixable, she tells us to swim. That we don’t have time to worry about showing our upper arms or our thighs. When Kelly asks her if she could say four words to anyone, she says, “You will come through.”

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Nightmare Neighbors

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , on February 12, 2015| 2 Comments »

We’ve all had one in our life, lucky me I just happened to have had two. But maybe my one neighbor and BFF Lee, in the Berkshires, cancels out the others? She became my best buddy, my Vineyard vacationer, my muse; and we met at a ballet class of all things. After that, it gets murky.

I’m busy unpacking boxes at my new house in NJ, when a policeman walks up the steps to my front door. Let it be said, that up until that moment I never had a police person visit me at home. He was giving us a warning about our dog, who was “roaming free.” OK, so we moved from the MA woods to suburbia, maybe I didn’t know the rules. Then the young cop tells me he gets lots of complaints from “that neighbor.” Like he wants us to excuse him for this visit, like he really didn’t even want to be here, in my front hall with a 2 year old running around me.

Eventually the tables were turned. My daughter told me that that “mean man” had put a trap in his front yard, a bear trap in fact! I was outraged. He didn’t want kids or dogs wandering onto his property after their balls. Well you don’t mess with this mom’s kids, so I called the police. They went to visit him for a little sit down chat, and the trap was removed. But I remember, he had no boundaries, he would walk the block on our cul-de-sac as if he owned it. I wrote him off as a sicko. It never occurred to me that he might own a gun, not back then.

Fast forward to our little old town house. While we were renovating it in 2005, a neighbor would suddenly appear out of nowhere. He’d tell us what the contractor had done, which subs had shown up, and he made it known that he was touring the inside of the house on a regular basis. At first we thought how nice it was for this guy to keep tabs on things while we were away, he’d chat about his rental income and the prices of real estate. He even organized a petition to get permit parking on the street. Then my friend moved into our investment property.

The saga of the porch fan is best left to her, in her sweet South Carolina accent, but since she has moved on to sunny Cali I’ll try and do it justice. We thought that every Southern porch needs a fan to go with the mint juleps served on Kentucky Derby day. Now Karen is the sweetest, kindest middle-aged lady who would find it hard to say anything bad about anyone, but one day she called me up about our neighbor. He informed her she would need the approval of the board of architectural review to put in a fan since we are now living in a historic district. He was going to “report her.”

So the chairperson of that board had never heard of such a request, but she approved it on the phone and had me send the schematics of the fan, which I got off the internet, to her office for a one hundred dollar fee. OK, case closed. But no, Karen started doing some gardening work in the front yard, and you guessed it, the nosy neighbor started up again, and I asked her what did you say? She told me, “I just ignore him now.” And again, the thought that he might have a gun in his house had never occurred to me.

And then yesterday, we hear about three young Muslim Americans shot execution style in NC, Chapel Hill students just beginning their lives. And the police want us to think it’s not a hate crime. It was a dispute over a parking spot? In fact ,the murderer had menaced Deah Barakat and his wife and her sister only after his marriage and the girls moved into his Chapel Hill condo, so he could see their religion plainly since the women wore headscarves. The nightmare neighbor had been seen around the complex carrying a rifle openly, and was always complaining about parking and noise.

Deah and Yusor were barely six weeks married, a story of love, respect and support that warmed all our hearts. Razan, Yusor’s younger sister, was visiting her big sister and brother-in-law when they were killed. Police said their neighbor, Craig Stephen Hicks, came into their home and shot them. I cannot imagine the sweltering hatred and utter disregard for human life that must have plagued the killer’s heart and soul, but all must know and honor the kinds of people Deah, Yusor and Razan were to understand how terribly they will be missed. http://edition.cnn.com/2015/02/11/opinion/masmoudi-unc-shooting/index.html

So was it a hate crime, a parking spot, a mentally ill person with no boundaries…maybe, and probably all of the above. But it was the gun that allowed him to kill them, one at a time, execution-style. And I bet he got it legally too. My heart goes out to the families and the Muslim community in the Research Triangle.  carolina.si

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The Big Switcharoo

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country, tagged , , , , , , on February 10, 2015| 2 Comments »

Right before the Love Bug was born, I whispered to the Groom, “Don’t take your eyes off her.” And by her, I meant the baby. It was going to be a C-section, the baby was breech, and I knew the Bride would be busy on the OR table. He looked at me kinda funny, but I said with fierce determination, “Promise me!” And he stayed with the Love Bug till they rolled her out to us.

Call me crazy, and I’m sure some people do, but I’ve seen too many mistakes happen in hospitals over the years, heard about too many nearly averted catastrophes, plus you know that old superstition, which I highly believe, about medical families. I’ve talked about it before, how people will try and treat you differently in the hospital when they learn you are related to doctor so and so, or nurse what’s his name.

And my mind thinks in a kind of catastrophic way. It’s a wonder I’m not on IV anxiety medicine at all times. Bob is late for our wedding? Wringing my hands I think he must have cold feet; instead, he couldn’t find the rabbi. Maybe it has to do with my Year of Living Dangerously. I’ve always thought I was the least affected by that trauma – the death of my father followed by a devastating car accident that landed me in a foster home. The Flapper was crippled, my sister and nana were in a coma, and my brothers were on their own. I was just a baby, I had no real memories of my first year of life. But there were lasting scars, wounds you’d never see when you grow up between two families.

I didn’t want my grand daughter switched at birth!

I had those feelings when my children were born, but Bob was right there and he knew about my fear, so he kept a close eye on things. After all, we were in his hospital, he knew everybody, and the Bride’s little foot was banded and toe-printed immediately.  Here is a synopsis of the bizarre switched-at-birth story I had heard about before the Bug’s birth on “This American Life.” It happened in Wisconsin in 1951: “One of the mothers realized the mistake but chose to keep quiet. Until the day, more than 40 years later, when she decided to tell both daughters what happened. How the truth changed two families’ lives.” http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/360/switched-at-birth

And just when you think that with technology these things never happen anymore, think again. A court case has just finished up in France awarding two families 2M Euros. Because at the age of ten, one girl felt she didn’t look like her father.

The families of two French girls who were accidentally switched at birth 20 years ago have been awarded nearly €2m (£1.5m) in damages. The clinic involved in the mix-up was ordered to compensate both girls – now women – their parents and siblings.Both babies had been treated in the same incubator and were then given to the wrong parents. http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-31350550

This must have been a cost-saving effort, putting two babies in the same incubator. Back in Wisconsin, one mother always thought there had been a mistake, her daughter was nothing like the rest of the family. But she never spoke up.

My daughter reassured me they kept close watch when she delivered Baby Boy JH in November, with his father and a doula plus the requisite docs and nurses in the room. I was still driving and worrying but immediately felt relieved when I looked into his eyes. Plus, Grandma Ada says she knows him. I think he looks like one of her sons, or the Groom’s brother. We’re not entirely sure yet.  IMG_5254

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Sisterhood of the World

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country on February 8, 2015| 3 Comments »

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I’ve been nominated for an award, by someone I only “know” online. First and foremost, a big thanks to Yvonne http://seasonedsistah2.com who nominated me for the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award. I am honored, truly. She is an intrepid and inspiring woman who’s mantra, after overcoming cancer is, “FEAR has two meanings: (1) Forget Everything And Run, or (2) Face Everything and Rise. The Choice is Mine.”

Here Are The Rules:

Thank the blogger that nominated you. (check)
Put the award logo on your blog.
Answer the ten questions sent to you.
Make up ten new questions for your nominees to answer.
Nominate seven blogs.

Here are my answers:

1) What is one of your favorite quotes?
Well I have two: “Bloom where you’re planted” and “Go into the heart of the dragon.” One refers to my husband’s need to uproot me every so often, and the other is about courage, from the lips of Sally Field.

2) If you could learn to do anything, what would it be?
I’ve always wanted to learn to play the cello. My Mother the Flapper sent me to ballet class, but music was always in my soul.

3) What was the last movie that made you cry?
The Imitation Game just this week, made me ferklempt.

4) If you won the lottery, what are the first things you would do?
Let’s see, I’d probably find a good money manager first and I’d donate a good percentage to organizations around the world that help women and children. I’d also help out my kids, the starving artist and the one with the big medical school debt. After that, who knows, a beach house?

5) Have you ever had a nickname, what is it?
Yes, it was “Posey.” My foster parents couldn’t decide which name to call me since Rose was a first name on my Baptismal Certificate and a second name on my Birth Certificate; so Rosey turned into Posey when I was a little girl.

6) What is your favorite holiday?
My all time favorite holiday is Thanksgiving since we usually spend it with friends and share the cooking!

7) Are you an introvert or extrovert?
I’ve been told I’m an extrovert but feel more and more like an introvert.

8) If you had to evacuate your house immediately, what is the one thing you would grab on the way out? Assuming the people are out and besides my dog? The pictures, all my old pictures that haven’t made it to the Cloud yet.

9) What is one food that you will not eat? HA I’m not a picky eater but I would not order any organ meat whatsoever – liver, intestines, brains, yech. I did however organize a menopause celebratory dinner with friends at a Greek restaurant – we all had to order something we never ate!

10) Would you rather use Facebook or Twitter?
I like them both, and believe me, I never thought I’d like Twitter, but I find myself on Twitter preferentially.

Here are my questions:

1) Who besides your parents, had the most influence in your life?

2) What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

3) What three songs would have to be included on the playlist of your life?

4) If you were given one last meal what would it be?

5) When did you know you were a writer?

6) If you could travel in time, would you go backwards or forwards? Why?

7) What does the word “feminist” mean to you?

8) Are you a dog or a cat person? Or both?

9) What is your preferred form of exercise, if any?

10) How would you describe yourself in a sentence?

And I nominate the following blogs:

https://cyclingrandma.wordpress.com; https://fishershannon.wordpress.com; https://friendfortheride.wordpress.com http://talesfromthemotherland.me https://susannye.wordpress.com http://catherineryanhoward.com http://www.katheats.com

Some of these women are accomplished writers, and some are more into cooking, while one is more political. These are the women who inform me, who I follow on this platform. When I think about it, that pretty much spans my blogging life – a little bit of food for thought. I know some of you hate these things, but I kinda like getting to know you just a bit better! What else should we do on a mid-winter Sunday anyway?

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