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Archive for October, 2026

“What’s the most joyful sound in the world to you?” For me, it’s the sound of our twin granddaughters laughing. The girls were playing peek-a-boo with each other, running in and out of a tent. Children laughing is the most delightful sound!

I was reading an article about how to find more joy when you’re feeling hopeless. It’s important to keep our spirits up until the midterms and beyond. The author said she liked attending “quirky community events,” like this parallel parking competition in Philadelphia. She said experiencing other people experiencing joy is just as good – although she doesn’t know about my history with Bob sitting on the front porch in Germantown. He liked to sit in the rocking chair and critique every driver who tried to parallel park in front of our house next to the chocolate shop. It was less joyful commentary, more hilarious, biting sarcasm.

This isn’t exactly a community event – not like the Tomato Festival in East Nashville – but it IS a special thing I do, just for me, once or twice a week. And because we were traveling, and then of course I caught a cold, followed by my dermatologist scraping and freezing barnacles off my body, it had been about a month since I participated in the JCC’s water aerobic’s class. Well yesterday I jumped back in the pool and I can attest that it is a joyful experience! And I think our group of mostly old ladies like me is kinda quirky. We walk around the women’s locker room in the altogether and don’t give two hoots what our bodies look like, which is a relief after decades of feeling judged.

“Can you recall something that gave you joy?” Surprisingly, the smell of cabbage brings me joy, but not just any cabbage. Nell didn’t really cook, but when she did she’d make Halupki (hah-loop-keys)! This is stuffed cabbage cooked in sauerkraut! I have some leftover rice, maybe I’ll make Halupkies tonight?

“These really small moments don’t have to fix everything to matter. You can even go on a “search for joy,” Dr. McGonigal said, at a specific location that has potential for uplift, such as a park or a library. Then let your attention wander, she said, and seek something that gives you a burst of delight.” https://www.nytimes.com/2026/10/09/well/find-joy.html

Every now and then I like to stroll around Nashville’s antique emporium. It’s a huge warehouse with two floors of dealers in fine and not so fine furniture and tchotchkes. You never know what you’ll find around a corner in this 50,000 sq ft space and it’s easy to get lost among the many “… Primitive, Victorian, Art Nouveau, Art Deco, Mid-Century Modern (MCM), Hollywood Regency, Architectural Salvage, Historical Pieces, and Man Cave décor” one of a kind finds! I guess it’s as close as I’ll come to a Paris Flea Market. https://www.gaslampantiques.com/

And in a joyful bit of serendipity, my brother Eric and I were both interviewed (separately) last week – I was on Nashville’s Public Radio and he was on Substack! On the way to Nashville, he and his wife Bev were interviewed on the Mall in DC by Matt Berg from Substack’s “Crooked Media: If you recall, Eric flew a Huey, a med-evac helicopter in Vietnam. He said, “I’m a veteran, not a sucker and loser.”

  • The man, named Eric, explained that he’s a decorated combat veteran who spent a year and a half in Vietnam. He had just finished visiting the Vietnam Memorial, where his crew chief and fellow medic are honored. He gazed at the Reflecting Pool with disgust.
  • “It’s an atrocity,” said Eric, who’s visiting from St. Louis, Missouri. “It’s another example of him trying to put his mark on something to make himself feel bigger and better than everyone else.” https://substack.com/@crookedmedia?utm_source=top_search

And how did I get on NPR? Easy, Bob and I were one of the first people to vote EARLY in our district. Early voting numbers are streaming in and that’s a joyful noise to me. Don’t be fooled by right-wing propaganda, even though the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency (CISA) has been gutted by the current administration, our state and local agencies have turned to ‘information-sharing networks and an ecosystem of nonprofits and paid consultants’ to fill the gap in a MacGyver-like safety net. That’s why ProPublica reported on some political appointees at the DHS trying to get CISA to hack a voting machine! Not on our watch! https://www.propublica.org/article/cisa-election-security-donald-trump

Enjoy the cooler temperatures everyone! And don’t fall for the blatant bribery coming out of the White House for your vote. Our democracy is not for sale.

Found these twin giraffes for our casita at Gaslamp.

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I live in a state that tried to kill Christa Pike twice, and still her execution failed. We were at cousin Peg’s house for dinner Saturday night when the Groom told us she was discharged from Vanderbilt. I know enough not to ask him about his patients, but I also know he’s been doing research and not attending in the MICU. Still this was public knowledge; Pike was awake and aware, and able to walk on her own after two ‘supposed’ injections of pentobarbital. Bob thinks they either missed her vein or blew a vein or both.

How is it that a veterinarian could come to my house and peacefully put my poor, old ailing dog Buddha to sleep without a hitch years ago, but the state of TN could so spectacularly botch an execution thirty years in the making?

The death penalty is nothing new. As far back as 18th Century BC, King Hammurabi of Babylon codified the death penalty for twenty five different crimes. Strangely enough, murder wasn’t one of them! But the first record of a public execution was in 16th Century BC Egypt where “…the wrongdoer, a member of nobility, was accused of magic, and ordered to take his own life. During this period non-nobility was usually killed with an ax.” Our country had its own reasons for capital punishment from the very beginning, including sodomy, slave stealing, kidnapping, perjury and treason. And we all remember Salem, MA where practicing magic was a burnable offense. Mostly before the electric chair, the states chose hanging.

“Finally, in 1846, Michigan became the first state to abolish the death penalty (except for treason against the state), mostly because it had no long tradition of capital punishment (there had been no hanging since 1830, before statehood) and because frontier Michigan had few established religious groups to oppose it as was the case in the east. In 1852, Rhode Island abolished the death penalty led by Unitarians, Universalists, and especially Quakers. In the same year, Massachusetts limited its death penalty to first-degree murder. In 1853, Wisconsin abolished the death penalty after a gruesome execution in which the victim struggled for five minutes at the end of the rope, and a full eighteen minutes passed before his heart finally quit.” https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/article/history-of-the-death-penalty/

The Flapper and Mr B, my step-father who was a lawyer and a judge, clashed about this very issue. My Mother was against capital punishment, and later became more Buddhist in her beliefs overall. I remember them arguing at the dinner table – please pass the macaroni and show me how the state has a right to take someone’s life! Today of course, there are subtle legal conditions to consider – was the crime premeditated, or if the perpetrator was a juvenile, or mentally handicapped, or maybe even if you are temporarily insane due to severe postpartum psychosis, insomnia, and hallucinations… Christa Pike fit none of these qualifications.

She was just 18 when she took her good ‘friend’ into the woods with her 17 year old boyfriend and killed her. Pike was afraid her friend, Colleen Slemmer, was trying to steal her ‘man.’ The man/boyfriend was sentenced to life in prison because he was a minor, younger than 18. Pike was accused of torturing Slemmer, which I chose not to read up on because the regular news is punishment enough. She spent 30 years on death row costing taxpayers over $100,000 a year and her prefrontal cortex wasn’t even finished growing. On Saturday night when I heard about Pike’s miraculous recovery, I also knew that Mr T was holding a rally in nearby Clarksville, TN…

“I could say the stupidest things and you’d clap,” he told the scant audience after Kid Rock introduced him. Well that’s true surprisingly. Then he promised 5K payments to everyone after the midterms. Literally, he was asking them to vote Republican and promising to pay them off. This came right after he dropped the sanctions on Russian oil, cozying up to the wannabe Czar, and dropping any illusion that we Americans were willing to fight with our Allies. You’re on your own Ukraine, because the GOP wants to mitigate the midterms.

My opinion on capital punishment has changed over the years. I was once on my step-father’s side, an eye for an eye. But with increased DNA evidence proving that mistakes have been made, that there is such a thing as a false confession, oh and throw systemic racism into the mix, I cannot abide by our government being in the business of executing prisoners. It’s barbaric. And Hegseth wanting to live stream the execution of a paralyzed terrorist? Shall we have ads offering deals online during the show?

To mitigate the news lately, I’ve turned to our latest Nobel Laureate, Anne Carson’s “The Glass Essay” speaking of Emily Bronte:

“She wanted liberty. Well didn’t she have it?

A reasonably satisfactory homelife,

a most satisfactory dreamlife—why all this beating of wings?

What was this cage, invisible to us,

which she felt herself to be confined in?”

Well there are many ways of being held prisoner,

I am thinking as I stride over the moor.

As a rule after lunch mother has a nap

and I go out to walk.

The bare blue trees and bleached wooden sky of April

carve into me with knives of light.

The Flapper’s Buddha

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While I was packing to leave LA, I heard about the Cornell case. It had been the better part of a week without any news, no reading the NYTimes, not even playing Wordle. And I thought wait, isn’t this an old rape allegation; because at my age, memory and deja vu can intertwine with reality. And as it turns out two years ago Jane Doe told campus police she was absolutely sure she was raped. What happened after that is the current story.

According to a survey of students by the Association of American Universities in 2019, over a quarter – one in four – undergraduate women reported experiencing some type of nonconsensual sex, or a sexual act coerced by physical force or because they were unable to consent. At Cornell, the university found that ONE THIRD of its young women said they had “…unwanted sexual experiences.”

The most disturbing three words in the English language came to light as evidence has accumulated of the gang rape that took place at Cornell in October of 2024, “SHOP STILL OPEN?” These words, in a text chain of ChiPhi fraternity brothers in the early morning hours, were captured and are now part of the civil case Jane Doe has filed against seven men, Cornell University, the Chi Phi fraternity, and the Delta Delta Delta sorority.

Because after Cornell’s Title IX board investigated the case two years ago, two men were expelled and the rest were told to write an essay.

Let that sink in. Dear boy, please write us a compelling expository essay on why you felt the need to do what you did, or didn’t do, to Jane Doe on the day in question. Maybe you should have stopped what was going on? Or say, called her sorority sisters to come and get her? What exactly was your part in the gang rape, did you only hold her down? Oh how I would love to read these pieces of creative, fantastical writing, that were probably AI driven, and meant absolutely nothing to the predators.

If you are currently in the business of looking at colleges for your high school children, please take a look at their dire statistics here: https://ope.ed.gov/campussafety/#/

Greek culture on campus has got to go IMHO. Sure maybe they collect money for charities, and sometimes hazing can result in a death here and there, but mostly they are a front for alcohol and drug induced parties. I’ve been to a few in the 60s in Boston, in fact I saw the Byrds sing at one such event across the Charles River at MIT. But remember, in the olden days we had curfews and we lived in same sex dorms. If a girl was late getting back from a party, she was locked out of her building. The MTA actually stopped running after midnight! There were no cell phones to get help. Young women were disposable back then, just as they are now, and if she happened to get pregnant she left school.

I guess with the Hobbs decision things haven’t changed much. And depending on what state you’re in – in NY for example – to bring a rape charge the victim must have been unconscious!?!? This is the Catch 22 of a young woman’s life. How does one know what exactly happened if you are drugged beyond belief and cannot remember? Because if you can remember… you must have wanted it. This is patriarchy in a nutshell. Never mind the bruising, the pain, the numbness, the loss of autonomy.

Jane Doe two days later tells her “friend,” the one boy she initially liked out of the seven, that nothing illegal was going on when he professed he was sorry, before the word got out that she was a “slut.” Before she became a pariah. But isn’t that just like us, women trained to comfort the men in our lives: to continue working with Chief Justice Clarence Thomas after being ‘supposedly’ harassed for years; to keep Chief Justice Brett Kavanaugh’s secret for decades after an ‘alleged’ assault at a high school party. And for that matter, what about Carroll v Trump? E Jean was doubly abused by our Commander in Chief by his defaming lawsuit!

A fish, or a country, rots from the head down. We have got to do better, our government, in academia, and as parents. I have three granddaughters, one is in high school. My grandson is in middle school. Tell them, whisper it or shout it to them, talk about consent. And if you live in one of these 19 states where rape isn’t rape unless you were unconscious, make some good trouble: “Nineteen states have rape or sexual assault laws that consider intoxicated victims to be mentally incapacitated only if they became drunk or drugged without their knowledge or consent.” https://www.pbs.org/newshour/nation/state-laws-on-intoxication-and-consent-get-new-scrutiny-after-cornell-rape-allegations

Found this pic of my starter wedding at 19 in MA, with brother Jim on the right.

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