While I was searching for some old pictures, I pulled down a big Frye boot box from the top of my closet. Inside I discovered the purple sweater that my Nana knit, probably around the turn of the last century. It was chock full of cables, an Aryan style, and since I knew it was a tight fit at 16, almost six decades later I didn’t have to try it on. I want to give it to the Bride; and I want to teach the Love Bug how to knit like a laidback knitter when she gets older!
Yesterday I walked into the Haus of Yarn in search of a certain size needle and walked out with this book, “10 Secrets of the Laidback Knitters, A Guide to Holistic Knitting, Yarn and Life,” by Vicki Stiefel and Lisa Souza. Post Christmas sales were in the air, (as in, “Come back on Wednesday when everything is half off”) and a woman was delivering a big box from Nothing Bundt Cakes, http://www.nothingbundtcakes.com I love this knitting store, they had fudge in the back and invited me to their Thursday night knit club. Back to the book, there are all different kinds of knitters, on a spectrum from the up-tight anxious type seeking perfection all the way to someone who knits in a recliner and doesn’t mind a dropped stitch.
I have to admit, I don’t like making mistakes, but I’m aware that what I want to be is a laidback knitter. And now I know how! I may never do any spinning or roving, but I do know where most of the yarn I use comes from. And I can still walk down the road to the Rivanna River Alpaca farm and say “Hey” to my friend DeeDee. Her animals make the softest fiber in the world. Thanks to The Knitting Lady, I don’t fear dropping stitches or even ripping out rows of wool with abandon. I can say with satisfaction, I am the slowest knitter ever! “Slow” in the sense of the slow food movement; and to be fair, in the sense of time spent on a project…
Have a slow moving Sunday y’all. As our President said, “Drink some eggnog.” I’m working on a rosy pink dress for my little Bout de Chou – translation “tiny piece of cauliflower!” I intend to keep knitting…and writing about gun control, in light of the tone deaf statements of the NRA. Let’s bring our voices to Washington via petitions, phone calls and those really hard to ignore, snail mail letters. Slow and steady will win this race.
Here I am, inbetween the Love Bug’s morning nap and her Mama coming home from a night shift at the hospital. It’s raining so I guess there will be no trip in the Big Bob stroller to the bagel store for lunch. The diapers were all washed (yes, she wears real cloth diapers) and put away with care, in hopes that St Nick will visit the Music City and find this new, wee one. It’s stranger still that I wrote about holiday stress right before the unthinkable shooting in CT, and now it feels like happiness may be harder to come by this holiday season for the whole country. Why did I turn on CNN this morning to hear that some savvy business is selling bullet-proof backpacks? And others are talking about teaching teachers to handle a gun. So along with learning how to administer an EpiPen shot for the occasional peanut allergy, who thinks we should require teachers to attend a shooting range?
I’m not happy because it’s just too darn hard to be happy. The author, Amy Shearn talks about her friend who is very Eeyore-like, “…terrible things befall her constantly, confirming her belief that the world is a grim place. Her Eeyore-ish, “Oh bother”-ness is so much a part of her that she seems to think happiness is simply not for her, as if some people were just Eeyores and some were just Pooh Bears (happy, simple, kind of dumb).”
So it’s good to remember that happiness actually takes some work, keeping up with our friends – and not just texting them. Taking time to help those in need – like the therapy dogs that walked into Newton and stole their hearts. Just getting out of our own heads for a time will improve any old rainy day!
The Bride has returned and when I told her I was writing about happiness, she smiled at me and said, “Like being a Grandmother?” So true baby girl!!
Here are the other 4 lies:
1) Happiness will come after my big success
2) My happiness comes in a box from Amazon
3) Happy people never quit
4) There’s no point in asking the universe for what I want
It’s that time of year. Flu season. The Love Bug’s nanny doesn’t believe in vaccinations – or flu shots – I know. So I’m starting my Christmas love fest with the Grand Baby a little early. I packed the car, finished up an audio book, and rolled into the Music City just in time to see her waking up from a nap!
And this old reporter is taking a news sabbatical. I’m happy to hear that the President and Congress may be revisiting that assault weapon ban. That Morning Joe has had a change of heart. That Dick’s Sporting Goods are pulling some of their guns off the shelves. Sixteen year olds at Columbine, twenty-somethings in Blacksburg; but the tipping point had to be 6 year olds in Newtown. My Tangerine Tango editor, Lisa Winkler, was a beat reporter in Danbury, CT. Her blog post hit home for me. http://cyclingrandma.wordpress.com/2012/12/16/newtown-ct-my-town-your-town-our-town/
On my way across TN, I stopped at a Drive-Thru of Christmas Lights extraordinaire, and of course took an Instagram picture for my family followers.
“Facebook’s photo-sharing site Instagram has updated its privacy policy giving it the right to sell users’ photos to advertisers without notification. Unless users delete their Instagram accounts by a deadline of 16 January, they cannot opt out.”
Seems more and more like we are living in an Orwellian world.
Our society will always have mentally ill people; they will go to a classroom at VA Tech or Columbine High School, they will walk into a shopping mall or a movie theatre. They will get into a taxi, then stroll into a parking lot and shoot a congresswoman. I must be crazy to think that the overwhelming factor in this national carnage isn’t the shooter – so let’s lock all our doors and live in fear, and btw let’s arm ourselves?
NO, the problem is GUNS…the abundance of guns in our country and their easy access. The United States loses 87 people a day to gun violence. Yesterday we lost 27 people in a small New England town, including the shooter and his mother. Let’s not play the blame game, and ask how he got into the school, or if somebody heard his threats. Without those guns in his hands, he would have injured his mother, with a knife or a heavy object or his own hands, and maybe, just maybe that would have been all? We place second in the world to gun ownership per citizen, next to Yemen. http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/07/20/gun-violence.html
“If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, then what am I? And if not now, when?” Rabbi Hillel
We’ve all heard of seasonal workers, and seasonal affective disorder (SAD) when you live, say in England, and rarely see the sun. Well seasonal stress disorder (SSD) should get its very own ICD9 code. For the non-medical reader, these are the letters and numbers that correspond to a diagnosis your doctor provides you and your health insurance system with – then someone at a desk decides if the doctor (or NP or PA) gets paid. Simple as that. I imagine that depression gets its own ICD9 code, with all its reasoning and corresponding symptoms, but the stress of everyday life? Probably not so much.
Starting with the Thanksgiving day bird that needs stuffing, and quickly moving on to the next day…the Blackest of Shopping Fridays…the push is on to get going:
Deck the halls and drag out or cut down a tree;
Find our buy ornaments;
Decorate the tree and serve eggnog;
Bake cookies;
Mail holiday cards:
Attend parties;
Act happy.
And it’s the “acting happy” part if you’re feeling blue that can hurt. I don’t want to be all Scrooge about it, but even if you’re a reasonably sane person for most of the year, the stress of added or forced jubilation coupled with going into debt to serve a consumer-driven culture during the last six weeks of the year can squeeze the joy out of a season that’s truly all about giving. According to this article, 90% of doctor visits are due to stress-related problems. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/29/reduce-stress-real-life-tips-that-really-work_n_2204938.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009#slide=1814158 So how to avoid burn-out in a nutshell when we’re getting down to the wire? Easy. Put on the brakes and give yourself permission to relax:
Take a walk, preferably with your dog; EXERCISE
Take a bath, or better yet, jump into a hot tub; STAY WARM
Write down 3 things you are grateful for; THINK POSITIVELY
Help someone else who needs help; ACT KINDLY
Watch a funny movie LAUGH
Learn to love chaos ACCEPT YOURSELF
(ie give up perfection or trying to live a “clutter-free” life)
Where have you gone Betsy Ford? OK, maybe that last part is more mine than yours, but studies show that putting a smile on your face makes the brain trick the mind into feeling happy. Most moms today are working AND trying to do all of the above Christmas-related chores which would drive anyone nuts, IMHO (which I just learned means “in my humble opinion”) but if you use this too much are you really humble? Just heard Deepak Chopra say that babies learn very early on whether life is going to be “Yummy or Yucky.” So I’m starting my NEW New Year’s List
and it’s not about the good the bad and the ugly with resolutions galore to add up to more stress. It’s simply a reading list and Chopra’s new book “Super Brain” will be on it. Here’s a little brain test – can you tell which card doesn’t belong? I forgot, along with keeping Santa, I also do “Merry Everything” cards, which is much easier with Shutterfly. There’s Betsy upper left, my Rumson Clutter Counselor.
Answer key: The new 2013 card of the Love Bug is nestled in last year’s display. Don’t worry, I’m archiving the old to make way for the new. Make it a perfectly yummy holiday and Happy Hanukka to all my Jewish friends and family…is it easier or harder when Hanukka comes so early? Answer key: Easier!
Call me crazy, but I’m a little befuddled by the “Right-to-Work” movement. Union members are swarming over the Michigan State House, protesting the bills that were introduced during a lame duck session last week seeking to strip unions of their power. “Proponents say the measure would bring more jobs and economic benefits to Michigan, while opponents say the laws are designed to weaken unions and would lead to lower wages.” The Governor said to BBC news, “This is about being pro-worker.”
If passed, Michigan would become the 24th Right-to-Work state. My Great Grandmother helped to unionize coal mines in PA, after losing one husband after another to mine accidents. I understand their historic significance. I also believe that police and firefighters will not have a choice in Michigan today, they will continue to belong to their unions. I guess legislators don’t want to take on those union members. Two school districts have closed around Lansing in order for their teachers to be present at the vote later today.
I’ve had two close and personal encounters with unions. One when I was teaching pre-school at a Head Start program in Jersey City. Some heavy playground equipment was delivered early one morning when I was taking the 6 am shift, alone for an hour. The trucker said he could not help me get the equipment off the truck! That wasn’t his job. So we had to wait around until more teachers and aides showed up so we could gingerly unload the boxes. It was an “Aha” moment for me. The second time was before I started student teaching, I was unaware that I would automatically be signed up for the teacher’s union.
And that seemed wrong to 20+ me then, that I didn’t have the choice. Most likely I would have joined. But I also felt that if teachers’ wanted to gain respect and higher wages, if they wanted their jobs to be viewed as a “profession,” then wouldn’t a union be unnecessary? It’s a conundrum, supposedly the union keeps the superintendents from filling jobs with his cronies, but it also tends to keep incompetent teachers in the classroom.
The President has said that Right-to-Work bills are about giving you the right to work for less money. I tend to agree. So many of our manufacturing jobs have shipped overseas because of the cost of doing business in this country. We no longer employ children, our sweat shops have closed and unions help American garment workers earn a living wage; which is why Walmart has its clothes made in China, or Indonesia, or Vietnam.
I would always include a gift of Lenox fine china when I sent a gift overseas, because it was made in Trenton, NJ. No longer, after many mergers and acquisitions even Lenox is made in China.
But wait, there is one Lenox plant left in the states – in Kinston, NC. A Right-to-Work state.
Tis the season. Cookie baking is in full swing and potato pancakes are about to be fried all over the world. Usually I dread this time of year. I gave up Christmas when I married Bob and tried to make Hanukka fun, while keeping some of my tradition – latke parties, M&M dreidel games, Santa delivering a present on Christmas morning. Santa was the one childhood memory I would not do without. But when I happily brought the young Bride to her very first Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular, I gave up. Her reaction as we left the theatre, was sobbing about how there was absolutely NO mention of Hanukka anywhere! Christmas wins every time.
But this year it’s getting better. I’ve given up the fight for a religion-neutral holiday season. I smile when strangers wish me a “Merry Christmas.” I will even say it right back at them. And I won’t be alone while Bob goes off to save lives. This year I’ll be taking care of the Love Bug while the Bride and her Groom are busy saving lives. I’ll have a comrade in arms, literally!
The Emergency Department (yes everyone, it’s a department, not a room according to Bob) Holiday party was last night, and everyone had a genuinely good time. I met a chatty cardiologist and a new NP from Alaska, jumped for joy with a fellow author/nurse who is about to be published (Bravo Pat!), patted the pregnant belly of the best mom/NICU nurse/friend, and danced my little feet off. The food was good and the wine was served in very small glasses. The only hitch came when we were playing a memory game, and Bob thought the picture of a Christmas tree ornament looked like a bomb. Well in his defense it was round, with a string.
I’ve ordered some actual paper pictures to be printed at CVS for the Ireland Christmas package, and I found this one of the Rocker and Aunt Cait, so I had to include it here. Peaceful wishes for a happy holiday season y’all!
Progress. It’s here to stay; technology races further ahead than most of us can imagine. How to stay at the cutting edge, how to know what’s next. Should we get the smaller “Tablet,” the thinner “Laptop?” One of my first newspaper articles in the 80s came about because I was tending a wood stove while Bob was carting his first “At-Home” computer up the stairs to his office. The juxtaposition of these two events piqued my funny bone. Bob likes to tell the story of the man who sold buggy whips.
He made the best, most beautiful buggy whips around. Just the right length, real leather, with handles that were oh, so ergonomically correct. The problem was it was 1896 and Henry Ford had built his first Quadricycle. You can see what’s coming, right? “And as the Quadricycle began to attract public attention, investors were intrigued. With the backing and influence of the mayor of Detroit, Henry Ford incorporated his first automobile company, the Detroit Automobile Company, in 1899. It had a short life, but Henry Ford’s career as an automaker had begun.” Who wants to be the buggy whip guy at the dawn of the automobile age?
Warning – Bob stop reading now! I just heard about a book I think I’ll be stuffing in Bob’s Hanukka stocking. “The Disappearance of Darkness” by Robert Burley http://darkness.robertburley.com is about the end of the analog photography era. When we were first married, Bob always longed for a dark room in any house we looked at. It didn’t have to be much, maybe a closet, a place where my amateur photographer could develop his film. It seems truly amazing that in the last 7 years Eastman Kodak has gone from being a top Fortune 500 company to a buggy whip. Steve Jobs was the Ford of our day.
Video stores and record stores are closing, maybe even bookstores? When you can make a memory book of photos for a Great Grandma, then type a little more and have my holiday cards done sealed and delivered (thank you Shutterfly); if our music can come from a cloud, what’s next?
Another tragedy has struck our quiet part of VA. Over the weekend I heard that a UVA student had died in a boating accident during her Semester at Sea off the coast of Dominica. http://abcnews.go.com/US/university-virginia-student-diver-killed-boat-propeller-dominica/story?id=17868006#.UL3yk7T3Bdg News spreads quickly in this town, but simultaneously I heard about Casey Schulman’s death via Facebook from Grandma Clown. Barry Lubin, who developed and starred as the world famous Big Apple Circus clown for decades, just happens to be my FB Friend. We met him a few times when the circus passed through Arrowhead Farm and the kids were little; and we continued the tradition after moving back to NJ, never missing their opening act at Lincoln Center. https://mountainmornings.wordpress.com/2011/08/01/did-you-jump/
Lubin is retired from the circus now, he has moved to Sweden, and has been part of the faculty onboard the MV Explorer for Semester at Sea this year, teaching among other things, a Physical Comedy class. You may have seen him interviewed on the PBS program “Circus.” I’ve vicariously enjoyed his travels, even wanting to tango in Argentina along with him, as you can tell by his recent post:
“…I clowned in Ghana, I hung out with an Ambassador. I saw baboons and penguins and an albatross. I sailed up the Amazon. I walked on Ipanema Beach. America, Canada, Ireland, England, Belgium, Portugal, Spain, Ghana, South Africa, Argentina, Uruguay, Brazil, and tomorrow Dominica. One day very soon, from dry land, I will look out over the sea and I will long to be on top of it again, sailing to the world.”
I wish all the students, the staff and crew onboard a safe journey home. I know that Lubin, who helped to start a clowning program in NYC hospitals for children, will bring his kind and caring support to those in need. I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child; I wish the Schulman family the strength, love and support to see them through this storm of grief. Prayers from a saddened Cville community are with them. Their daughter will forever be a 4th year UVA student, the girl who’s smile would “…light up an entire room.”
“She lived for twenty-two years, but it was the most resilient twenty-two years anyone could have,” said Sean Saadat, a biology senior at George Mason University and close friend. “She got to travel the world, she found love, she was loved—she did more in those twenty-two years than most people do in eighty.” http://www.semesteratsea.org/2012/12/03/remembering-casey-schulman/
“Seeing death as the end of life is like seeing the horizon as the end of the ocean.” Searls
It’s been an exciting week getting back to “normal” after Thanksgiving at the beach. Laundry is done, Ms Bean has decided to ignore us again when we call her outside, a dead deer showed up in the yard, made a big batch of vegetable soup…wait a minute. Did I just say something about a deer? Yes, unfortunately it’s hunting season and although our property is posted, this poor animal managed to drag itself next to Bob’s garden. That evening, I asked Bob why finding the deer was so hard on me, and he reminded me about something that happened when the Rocker was a baby.
We were all outside working on our garden, picking up twigs on the lawn. It was a beautiful Fall day. Suddenly we heard a piercing cry, and I followed the anguished sounds to a pine tree. There stood the most beautiful red cardinal. I gently moved my hand toward the bird, and it just stayed there, surprising me. I picked him up to find he had impaled himself on a pine needle. I sent Bob into the house for a shoebox and a towel, and we packed him up for a quick ride to the vet, but he died on the way. I am married to a man who deals with life and death issues on a daily basis; old people in nursing homes who are barely cognizant, toddlers who fall into swimming pools. Yet I can barely breathe when confronted with a suffering animal.
Although my deer didn’t make the local news, along with the “Bag it or Buy it” piece about school lunches for the week, the BIG news story in Albemarle County was a thwarted child abduction at the indoor “Fashion Square Mall.” http://www.nbc29.com/story/20228216/attempted-abduction-bond-hearing It seems that the mall security guards just let this guy go, in fact escorted him out of the building after the 2 year old’s father rescued his daughter. And to make matters worse, it was the girl’s parents who finally called the police 6 hours later! There had been much hand-wringing and soul-searching until some community members identified the suspect and he was arrested on Thursday.
I thought about that first big case in NY, Etan Patz in 1979 when the Bride was born. About how they have finally charged a man after so many years. http://articles.nydailynews.com/2012-11-15/news/35139303_1_etan-patz-pedro-hernandez-child-molester And about how that changed the way many of us parent; to become attachment types, which leads to helicopter or even drone-like parenting. While searching through my baby pictures, I found little me in a playpen outside. Bob said he was left in a carriage outside for the “fresh air.” The conflict continues, to smother and coddle, to wrap in wool, or to let your children roam “free-range?”
MountainMornings 