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Posts Tagged ‘cults’

We arrived home Monday night around 10 pm.

A road trip back from witnessing the Total Eclipse of the Sun in Illinois took us 8 hours… instead of the usual 3. We joined the stream of satisfied Totality chasers heading south-east on 2 lanes, packed like lemmings, traveling stop and go on Interstate 24; the only highway between Carbondale, IL and Nashville, TN. It was almost an hour wait at the Cracker Barrel, so we ate Lorna Doones in the car and sang along to a Beatles station. A perfect end to an incredible weekend.

On Saturday morning, Bob and I flew to Durham, NC for the Memorial of a dear, old friend, forever nicknamed “The Smiler.” We attended Sacred Heart School together, but his reputation took flight in public high school as that Dude, The OG Dude. The guy who took life as it came, with a sly sense of humor. Sweet and unassuming, yet whip smart – Jeopardy level smart. Always willing to help his friends, as if the comic book high school hero Archie turned into a 60s hippie. The Smiler went to Woodstock with the Big Chill crew, then settled down delivering blood for the Red Cross in his signature porkpie hat.

All through the years, he and my good friend Bess were soulmates. Even though they married other people, they shared a daughter, Guinevere Turner. If you recall, Bess was the smartest girl in high school, and we both went to college in Boston – only I dropped out to get married and she dropped into a cult. In the Smiler’s backyard, Guinevere, an actor and screenwriter, led the memorial recounting the first time she met her father at the age of 18. Last year she published her memoir about those early formative years in the Lyman Family cult, “When the World Didn’t End.”

The next morning we flew home, only to get in the car and drive 2 hours to Kentucky with the Bride and family in preparation for the eclipse. We all managed to catch the second half of the Women’s NCAA Basketball Championships in our Paducah hotel. SC trounced Iowa 87-75. I marveled at how far women’s sports have come since I played basketball at Camp St Joseph. I understood why Coach Dawn Staley broke down in tears after the game, even if the Bug didn’t get it. I grew up trying to control my tears – big girls don’t cry, you never cry in public – but sometimes they burst out of you instead of simmering to overflowing.

The next morning, we drove to Southern Illinois University’s Saluki Stadium and parked with our fellow stargazers. It was the Super Bowl for space nerds. I learned a lot that day. For instance, bulldogs aren’t the only dogs a school can adopt for a mascot. I’d never heard of the Saluki breed, but they look like the progeny of an Afghan hound and a Whippet! And did you know that if you pretend that the sun is an empty ball, you would need 1 million earths to fill it up? Also, plan to charge your EV before a once in a lifetime event.

It was all worth the wait and the driving. It was everything and more. We saw the Totality for over 4 minutes which was great, but the Grands jumping for joy was the bestest! A cosmic dance the universe choreographs for a select few on this earth, and for us twice in a lifetime. In 2017 the Totality passed right over Nashville, so I knew what to expect – the slow-moving cold, the night crickets. But seeing the moon intersect the sun while our Grands were experiencing the same other-worldly, celestial magic trick was unforgettable. ps – the Pumpkin is hiding behind his sister.

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It’s been a helluva week, played out on the national stage but also on our Music City stage. The body of Debra Johnson was transported back to her home in Nashville yesterday; she was the warden of the state penitentiary, who was raped and murdered in her house on the prison grounds. The manhunt for her killer, Curtis Ray Watson, has been all over the local news for 4 days. He was last seen riding a tractor in her yard – it was a minimum security place and he supposedly had “privileges.”

Only in Tennessee would the getaway vehicle be a tractor.

Since Bob’s been traveling, I’ve been extra cautious walking the dog at night. Our little farmhouse sits on the outskirts of the main drag, away from restaurants and nightlife. But it’s not just wondering where Watson could be hiding, I’ve had some serious social media threats since I posted something about how we might try regulating guns the way our government likes to regulate a woman’s body. Silly, sarcastic me.

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I’ve since been told this was not a Steinem quote, but it should have been! This does not seem like a time to sit on the fence. You are either OK with our country’s fascination with weapons of war, with young white men (for the most part, cause just let a black or a brown guy try that shit) being able to carry these guns all around town showing off their “manhood,” with separating families at our border, keeping people in cages, and raiding their workplace leaving their children waiting at school, wondering if they will ever see them again.

You are either OK with this, or you are not. Silence and indifference is not an option either.

The Bride sent me an article about how more than half of the mass murderers we’ve seen since we started tracking them back in 1966 have basically 2 things in common. You know what the first is – GUNS. But can you guess the second? It’s a hatred, a vile hatred of women. Yessir, misogyny rears its ugly head. “A Common Trait Among Mass Killers: Hatred Toward Women,” by Bosman, Taylor, and Arango.

“The motivations of men who commit mass shootings are often muddled, complex or unknown. But one common thread that connects many of them — other than access to powerful firearms — is a history of hating women, assaulting wives, girlfriends and female family members, or sharing misogynistic views online”

My good friend Bess told me that very thing last year while we were in Italy. She works at a shelter for abused women, and she personally understands how and why a woman might end up fleeing a relationship and fighting for her life.

We both went off to Boston for college in 1966, but she ended up in a cult. The man who persuaded her to sell newspapers on the street eventually ended up controlling every aspect of her life. Bess was my hero in high school, she was the smartest girl in our gang. I never understood how this had happened to her until we talked one night in Tuscany.

Her daughter Gwen is a talented screenwriter who was returned to her mother after Bess finally fled the cult, at first resenting being separated from the only family she had ever known. Gwen’s movie, “Charlie Says,” about the Manson girls, was released this Spring: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1759744/

Gwen wrote about growing up in a cult for the New Yorker: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2019/05/06/my-childhood-in-a-cult

“Where are you from?” For most people, this is a casual social question. For me, it’s an exceptionally loaded one, and demands either a lie or my glossing over facts, because the real answer goes something like this: “I grew up on compounds in Kansas, Los Angeles, San Francisco, New York, Boston, and Martha’s Vineyard, often travelling in five-vehicle caravans across the country from one location to the next. My reality included LSD, government cheese, and a repurposed school bus with the words ‘Venus or Bust’ painted on both sides.” And that, while completely factual, is hard to believe, and sounds like a cry for attention. So I usually just say, “Upstate New York.”

In the spirit of peace and love, and the 50th anniversary of Woodstock, I’d just like to say if you didn’t live through the 60s you may not understand. We young people were embittered and embattled by an unjust war, our leaders were being mowed down by guns, and the second wave of feminism was just getting started. Some of us burned our bras and got birth control. While some of us were trying hard just to tread water while not making any waves.

Guess what?! They caught Curtis Watson today. He was hiding out in Henning, TN near the prison. When the Senate is back in session and they want to talk about anything other than an assault weapon ban, let’s pressure them to talk about red flag laws, and in particular guys who have been arrested or dishonorably discharged because of domestic abuse. “Federal law prohibits people convicted of certain domestic violence crimes, and some abusers who are subject to protective orders, from buying or owning guns. BUT there are many loopholes, and women in relationships who are not married to, do not live with, or have children with their abusers receive no protection. Federal law also does not provide a mechanism for actually removing guns from abusers.” 

Loopholes like the one in the Sutherland Springs massacre, where the Air Force didn’t report the shooter’s domestic violence history. Please read this article, it is eye-opening.

 

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