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Posts Tagged ‘Ethics’

Happy Valentine’s Day people!

Who doesn’t love a good romantic story? There was a time when I’d devour the coveted wedding announcements in the Vows Section of the Sunday New York Times, but now I read the digital version of “Modern Love.” If you haven’t discovered the Style Section of the Times, you’re in for a treat!

“A series of weekly reader-submitted essays that explore the joys and tribulations of love.”

Currently the paper is accepting submissions of “tiny love stories” of 100 words or less. The last one was a tale as old as friendship – one woman gets married and has a child, the other doesn’t. The single woman wonders if she’ll lose her best friend, especially as the coronavirus began to spread. But on a Zoom call, she sees the toddler crawling through a doggie door and realizes the baby is just as weird as they are! How could she be jealous?

While trying to avoid watching the fore-ordained Impeachment Trial, I happened to read about another weird love story playing out in the Politics Section. My two favorite things combined! It seems a Nashville native, TJ Ducklo, who was a deputy press secretary in Joe Biden’s White House, just resigned his position yesterday over claims that he verbally harangued a female Politico reporter who was working on a story about his love life.

“Per Vanity Fair, in January, Palmeri — who is a co-author of Politico’s Playbook — was assigned to report out a story that fits neatly into her beat: the then-unreported relationship between Ducklo and Axios political reporter Alexi McCammond, and the ethical questions it raised. On January 20, Palmeri contacted McCammond for comment, while one of her male colleagues reached out to Ducklo for the same. Things escalated rapidly. After Ducklo received the message, he called a Playbook editor to voice his disapproval, and was directed to speak with the reporters themselves. Rather than call the man who contacted him, Ducklo reached out to Palmeri and allegedly lashed out.

https://www.thecut.com/2021/02/biden-spokesman-reportedly-had-sexist-meltdown-at-a-reporter.html

To be fair, both Ducklo and his girlfriend Alexi McCammond told their bosses as soon as their relationship turned serious and McCammond was switched from the Biden beat to Kamala Harris and other Progressive legislators. Also, Ducklo had just finished chemo treatment for stage four lung cancer. He also thought the conversation he had with Palmeri was off-the-record, still he allegedly said, “I will destroy you,” and told her she was just jealous of McCammond.

It’s strange how my feminism plays out in a situation like this; my initial reaction was, “Good”, because when the news first broke at Friday’s WHPresser, Jen Psaki told reporters that he would be suspended for one week without pay. A day later he’s quitting, and I’m thinking why do Democrats have such high moral standards when Mr T could get away with literal murder? Oh, and what about Mr T’s sexual harassment charges – 26 incidents of “unwanted sexual contact,” and 43 instances of “inappropriate behavior!”

Ah the joys and tribulations of amour. In my hundred word essay, I’d write about Bob getting the Keurig ready to go every morning before I get up. I pull out my mug that says, “Mrs ALWAYS Right” (a gift from a dear Italian friend – Bob’s mug says “Mr Right”) and never have to fill up the water chamber. He also keeps the pantry full with my special Starbucks French Roast pods. Every morning I think to myself, he must love me!

We’ll be staying put today since an ice storm is coming. Stay weird, warm and safe with your loved ones, the two and four legged varieties, and a very Happy Cupid Day and Year of the Ox. This was us at Bob’s 40th birthday party, a come as you were in the 60s affair of the heart.

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“The fact still remains, I am not going to apologize for something I didn’t say.”

Okay, Lying about what you said is never a good way to start an apology. Tea Party member, veterinarian and righteously dishonest Republican from (where else) FLORIDA, Ted Yoho, has given us all a lesson on the non-apology apology. Unfortunately for him, he accosted AOC on the steps of Congress in front of a reporter.

Generalizing, or not saying the name of the person you offended, is cowardly. “I’m sorry if my words offended someone?!?!” Just like turning away from the person you are calling a “fucking bitch,” but saying it just loud enough for her to hear it.

Contingency – Don’t make your apology contingent by using a conjunction. Slightly different from the last non-apology because at least it is directed towards someone, but just as heinous. “I’m sorry IF my words offended you”

Deflecting, don’t even try to apply a reason for your hateful speech, our couch it with your better angel. Don’t couple an apology with something else, like your “passion.” That’s the old “I beat her because I love her so much.”

Making up an excuse. Offering an excuse is just plain pathetic. Never offer an excuse for your bad behavior: “I was having a bad day” or “I drank too much,” or especially, “You made me do it!” Children make up excuses for their bad behavior.

No quid pro quo – Hmm, where have we heard that before? This implies that the person you’ve just insulted or accosted, in some way deserved it. Well you were yelling at me! You think I’m deplorable, so I can call you whatever I want. Pretty sure Yoho can’t read minds though.

Don’t make your apology a bid for sympathy – so what if you have a mother, most of us do! OH, wait you’re a Christian? That’s great! I was taught to turn the other cheek in Catholic school, what kind of Tea Bag Christian are you?

Here is this morning’s view from my desk. I’d wager a bet that most women have heard some or all of the above during our lifetimes. Don’t forget to vote by mail if you can!

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We’re back home in the mountains, with birds singing and ethical questions abounding. Yesterday I saw Dr MacDreamy about my incessant back pain, and picked up an April 3rd copy of Time in his office titled, “Is Truth Dead?” All week I’ve been listening to pundits discuss whether Comey or Mr T were lying. Just that question… who to believe? And Bob and I listened to a podcast on the nine hour drive from Nashville on This American Life titled, “Mr Lie Detector.” https://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/618/mr-lie-detector

Turns out lie detectors don’t work, so why are some companies still using them?

And to round out this theme, I was reading quite a bit of “Betty Bunny Didn’t Do It” by Michael Kaplan last week to the grandchildren. It was one of the free books that are sent via snail mail to all new parents (for the first five years) in TN from Dolly Parton’s “Imagination Library.” http://usa.imaginationlibrary.com

Well of course Betty Bunny DID do it, break a lamp that is, and her attempts at a cover-up only dig her deeper and deeper into hot water. It’s a great age-appropriate lesson in honesty. But let’s face it, who hasn’t lied about something? I was taught it’s a sin to lie, but to spare someone’s feelings it’s “a little white lie” that doesn’t count… Mixed message or what?

The Flapper lied about food all the time. Since she was a busy working Mom, and also an excellent cook, she couldn’t help but take credit for making the whole meal if we had company. When someone would ask, “Did you make this?” Her reply would always be, “Of Course!” Even if the muffins or cake came from a bakery. I distinctly remember the first time I heard this, I was dumbfounded since my foster parents and the nuns had me convinced lying was evil.

But my Mother lied with such enthusiasm we all believed her, even if we saw the package in the kitchen. Sometimes, on the weekend, she would go all out and bake a pie, but everyone knew she wouldn’t actually buy a pie.

She also lied about her age, and her hair color, but of course I thought everyone did that!

Bob and I are true believers in brutal honesty. We taught our kiddos not to lie to us, ever! We started telling them, probably around age 6 or 7, that in the future things may happen, but whatever happened if they told us the TRUTH, they would never get in trouble. Trouble with a capital T (consequences such as being unplugged or losing car privileges) happened when we found out they were using truthiness on us, deliberately obfuscating the truth, lying. And I’m pretty sure this approach paid off, though I’m also sure the statute of limitations on some teenage crimes and misdemeanors is about to run out!

Today we have an outright liar in the White House. He couches his texts in uncertainty – using modal verbs like, “may,” “might,” or “must.” He makes his followers think it’s possible that undocumented immigrants voted in the last election, even though he was proven wrong. He must believe his own lies, like any good paranoid he believed Obama was “wire tapping” Trump Tower. Having Mr Comey call out that nonsense must have stung; not bowing down in all his 6’8″ majesty of manhood to poor, pitiful Mr T, to pledge his loyalty and allegiance? No, so long Mr FBI Director. “You’re Fired!”

Mr T calls his version of the truth, “truthful hyperbole.” Kellyanne gave us a whole new lexicon with “alternative facts.” Facts are facts, like a deal is a deal is a deal! Just because Mr T believed that President Obama was born in Kenya did not make it so. And even if Mr T fires his special prosecutor Mr Mueller, the evidence, the facts about Russia will continue to come out.

Whatever your feelings are, and most of us are on a spectrum of honesty from being horribly brutal to trying to save someone’s feelings, we can all admit it’s never a good idea to lie under oath. Or for that matter, for public officials to lie to us. Lying about having sex with “that woman” is a different level, a whole different category of lies. It’s trying to save face, save a family unit, maybe even save that poor intern Monica.

But knowing that hackers interfered with our election and denying you knew anything about your chief advisors dealings with Russia, such a huuuge smart businessman like you Mr T, and we are expected to buy this? Didn’t you invite the Russians to hack Hillary’s emails in a debate? Oh Republicans, give them a good sex scandal anytime, but win an election at all costs, am I right?

Calling this a “witch hunt” really? Witches were innocent women, and you sir, are no innocent man. You are saying and doing things that would make you the opposite of innocent! When our reluctant Chief Executive/Golfer reads the National Enquirer and Breitbart News and watches Fox TV all the damn time – and believes it all?!

Mr T can’t negotiate his way out of this fast moving train of facts. Like Nixon, he can fire his staff willy nilly, but the truth will come out. His lack of credibility has diminished our leadership in the world. Right now, I’m wondering what he traded North Korea for to get our UVA student, Otto Warmbier, back.

It’s been hazy, hot and humid this week and Bob likes it chilly in the house. He asked me this morning if I turned the AC up last night? Who, freezing cold moi?

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Imagine coming home, after nine days with no news of any sort, only to find out that our new political reality has become dissecting Mr T’s Tweets. So you naturally tune this out of your consciousness. You might tune up your classical music that magically erupts from a radio station in Seattle via your wireless Sonos speaker and an Ipad App.  http://www.sonos.com/en-us/products/wireless-speakers

You could probably get Radio Free Europe on there?!

And then, by reflex, you tune into NPR in your car. Big mistake, because you hear that all hell broke loose yesterday in a Mt T press conference over a sex tape that either does or does not exist! Let’s say our Intel thought it was important enough to brief both POTUS and PEOTUS last week.

In a climate that sends a shooter to a pizza place in DC over some far-fetched conspiracy theory about sex trafficking; and when Rolling Stone is taken to task over a fake rape allegation, it would behoove us to decipher what is real and what is fake news, dontcha think? Critical Thinking skills were all the rage when my kids were in high school. Young people today are better at reading #RealNews on the Internets than most of our peers.

I was taught in Catholic School that we received First Holy Communion at the age of seven because that’s when we could tell the difference between right and wrong, true and false. Monsters are not real. There is no Santa Claus, no unicorns, no pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. But then we are supposed to believe that little wafer we’re about to eat is the body and blood of Christ, so the margin of reality becomes fluid. And a lot depends on what particular belief system we inculcate from our parents…

Still, lawyers can build a case in support of a theory by proving a “pattern” of behavior. Courtrooms love this stuff, people are convicted on their patterns all the time. Maybe this guy was nowhere near his wife when she disappeared, BUT here are all the pictures and phone calls and witnesses to prove that he liked using his wife as a punching bag for years.  You don’t always need a body to convict a murderer.

So let’s look at all this shall we:

Mr T said he liked going backstage at the Miss Universe Pageant, and he was in Moscow for that event in 2013, the year an “alleged” tape in question was made. In fact there are pictures of him there, smooching the contestants.

An ex-MI6 operator, Christopher Steele, who prepared the dossier on Mr T’s tape has left his home and is in hiding. Mr Steele runs a London-based security and intel firm that deals mostly with Eastern Europe. Among his allegations, which are unsubstantiated because this tape has not surfaced, “…are that Moscow has a video recording of Mr Trump with prostitutes and damaging information about his business activities.” http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-38591382

Last April the CIA Director was shown evidence of money flowing from the Kremlin to the US Presidential campaign – it worried him enough that he convened “…six agencies or departments of government. Dealing with the domestic, US, side of the inquiry, were the FBI, the Department of the Treasury, and the Department of Justice. For the foreign and intelligence aspects of the investigation, there were another three agencies: the CIA, the Office of the Director of National Intelligence and the National Security Agency, responsible for electronic spying.”

And in other #RealNews, Mr T’s business partner, Tevfik Arif, in the early 2000s was a Turkish citizen, born in Russia, with some very interesting ties.

In 2010, Mr Arif was arrested in Turkey on charges he helped arrange an orgy on a yacht that had once belonged to the country’s founder, Mustafa Kemal Ataturk. In 2012, the charges were dropped, a company spokeswoman says. Today, Mr Arif is believed to be living in Turkey. His spokeswoman said he was the “sole owner” of Bayrock during the time it did business with Mr Trump. She declined to provide details, citing litigation and confidentiality agreements.  https://www.ft.com/content/549ddfaa-5fa5-11e6-b38c-7b39cbb1138a

That yacht secured teenage “models” from Russia and the Ukraine, as “singers and dancers.” Google it.

This morning I heard that Mr T said CNN trafficked in fake news, because they reported about said dossier that was published on Buzzfeed. He also said he would only discuss his grandkids with his sons over the next four years. And yet, Republicans looked askance when Mr Clinton said he had only discussed his grandkids for 20 minutes on a plane with the AG! I sometimes think that indeed, Mr T could get away with saying and doing anything he wants, which is downright chilling. After all, we have the Billy Bush/Pussy Gate tape, and that didn’t mean a thing.

Let’s hold all journalists to the same standard. If this tape does exist, we have just elected a Manchurian candidate. We actually don’t know the truth, yet… It’s true, US Intel was not involved, the Brits started this fire and we are now obligated to put it out.

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I’m feeling like a two year old. It’s a rainy, cold morning in the mountains and I just cranked up my Twitter account to read about some middle-of-the-night GOP shenanigans. It would seem that Congress has voted to dismantle the Office of Congressional Ethics! So somebody please sit me on your lap, get me a blankie, and read me Rebecca Patterson’s book, “My No, No,NO Day.”

Won’t somebody make it stop?!

After nine days in Nashville without cable news of any kind, I was almost looking forward to watching some CNN. Y’all know I’m a news junkie, an ex-reporter and school board policy wonk with a taste for irony. When West Nile began swelling my brain until my eyes turned beet red, I didn’t go to a doctor until I couldn’t read that new-fangled news crawl. But I’ve been quickly disabused of this notion – it would seem that media coverage today consists of deconstructing Mr T’s Tweets.

And I refuse to follow him on Twitter. NO.

SO, since throwing a temper tantrum isn’t an option, today we here in MountainMornings Land will be observing Opposite Day! I am in opposition to this whole damn Electoral College business (this is true) and Mr T is NOT my President-Elect! Get it?

Today I will dress up funny, I will say the opposite of what I mean to say, and probably mumble. A Lot. Kids love doing this in Middle School; they learn about antonyms and might play a game of Opposite BINGO in their classroom. When the Rocker was very little, we were playing a board game with a group of adults, the one where you can’t actually say the word in order to get your team to guess your word and win…his word was “Negative.”

“The opposite of affirmative.”

That’s what he said, and we all looked at each other. This response has been etched into our family’s history.

In some ways, I feel as if our country is living in a perpetual state of Opposite Day. Since journalists are now trying to parse what, how and when to use the word “LIE,” and translating Tweets has become a common practice. It’s only because I have Twitter on my phone that I read about Mr T’s New Year message to his “enemies.” Tasting like a bad clam, I wish I hadn’t.

Nancy Pelosi said, “Ethics are the first casualty of the new Republican Congress.”

Elizabeth Warren said, “Tell us, @GOP: Who, exactly, thinks that the problem with Washington is that we have too many rules requiring the gov to act ethically?”

And I say, shall I list the antonyms of ETHICS? Corrupt, Dishonest, Immoral, Improper, Unjust, Unrighteous….

Some friends and family have stopped watching the news on TV altogether. But being an ostrich about current events isn’t the answer. In fact, this beautiful, tall bird has gotten a bum rap all these years. They actually DON’T stick their heads into the sand! http://mentalfloss.com/article/56176/why-do-ostriches-stick-their-heads-sand

So let’s suspend all our belief systems for the day, or maybe the week, or even this New Year. My cookie broke and ballet is too itchy and… Put on your big girl boots and get ready to March on Washington ladies on January 21.

 

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On this cold and rainy Tuesday, let’s talk about food shall we? Now I’m not a big sushi lover, not like Bob and the kids. Raw fish should be called bait imho, so I always order something cooked on the menu. But last week in LA, over a most deliciously fresh dinner of lobster rolls and salmon sashimi, the Rocker rolled out his new App; something for us old folks to help with choosing ethical, sustainable products, https://buycott.com  …oh and btw,

it also tells you what political party the company or the company president is donating to – HOLLER!!

I know, holler is so last year, but my point is you will find out if some product has GMOs or not, and you can also tell if something is related to Mr T as well! For instance, “Kitchen Aid is the named sponsor of the PGA Senior Golf Championship. Donald Trump spent many years lobbying for a major golf tournament and was awarded the 2017 Kitchen Aid PGA Senior Golf Championship. Trump is very proud of this. Kitchen Aid should not allow for Donald Trump’s dangerous bigoted bullying to be rewarded. Accordingly, they should push to move the tournament to another location (as many less prestigious golf events have already done).” https://www.buzzfeed.com/carolineodonovan/how-buycott-intends-to-put-bad-brands-on-blast?utm_term=.cuBKePYJJV#.twe5gWO44m

I never really wanted one of those huge Kitchen Aid mixers on my kitchen counter top anyway. And I’ve never owned a toaster oven for that matter, just a toaster. In fact, we just recently upgraded to a 4 slicer!

But just how conscientious are we when it comes to holiday consumption? Tis the season and I’m growing more in love with Amazon for its convenience every year, though I admit it was not an easy road to climb since I also strongly believe in small, local businesses. But I have always been a brand buyer, not the fancy Gucci wear my initials all over you “luxury brand buyer,” but I like what I like. Like my washing machine detergent is Tide.

Still, when I found out a Koch brothers’ company owned Northern toilet paper, I figured it’s time to put my money where my bum is, literally. I switched to a Proctor and Gamble company, even though I’d been traumatized for years by their weird Mr Whipple ad campaign. “1964 — The Mr. Whipple (aka “George the Grocer”) character was created to promote Charmin’s “squeezable softness.” Mr. Whipple appeared for more than 20 years in Charmin television, radio, and print advertising.”

But I digress. When I heard about that gun-toting maniac who believed some Mr T induced conspiracy theory about trafficking at a pizza parlor in DC, well it just made me want to crawl right back under the covers. After all, who in their right mind would dare to denounce pizza? That most glorious of all foods! That is, until I heard about Kellogg pulling their advertising dollars from Breitbart aka FAKE news. https://www.theguardian.com/media/2016/nov/30/breitbart-news-kelloggs-advertising-boycott-alt-right

And I have a wee bit of a connection to this beloved cereal chain. My brother Mike, who was the President and GM of the Vikings at the time, and his family lived on the same spit of land in MN that bordered Lake Minnetonka with old Mrs Kellogg. In fact, the Flapper once told us a story of how Mrs K herself, who was older than my Mother at the time, came out in the middle of a snowstorm in her snowshoes to check on her! Yes, people in MN are that kind, that good, just like Garrison Keillor says they are!

Mrs Kellogg brought the Flapper some food since she knew the rest of the family was away on some trip. They sat down to tea. And knowing my Mother, I’m sure they had an interesting discussion. I wish I could ask them now what they think about all this boycotting stuff. They would most likely remind me that this act of civic disobedience has been around for ages and in fact started in our ancestral home, County Mayo, Ireland! I KNEW it!

The word boycott entered the English language during the Irish “Land War” and derives eponymously from Captain Charles Boycott, the land agent of an absentee landlord, Lord Erne, who lived in Lough Mask House, near Ballinrobe in County Mayo, Ireland, who was subject to social ostracism organized by the Irish Land League in 1880. As harvests had been poor that year, Lord Erne offered his tenants a ten percent reduction in their rents. In September of that year, protesting tenants demanded a twenty five percent reduction, which Lord Erne refused. Boycott then attempted to evict eleven tenants from the land.

Tonight we’ll be having leftovers. Good old fashioned comfort food with a side of ravioli. Tomorrow we will order a pizza, to go with our Rice Krispie treats. https://www.ricekrispies.com/en_US/recipes.html    img_5666

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Anybody who ever watched West Wing, or for that matter served in government in any capacity, knows the term “plausible deniability.” It’s when that trusted inner circle keeps something treacherous, some phone call or email, from ever reaching the ears of the guy (or gal) at the top. That way, when questioned under oath, or maybe attached to a lie detector, the person in charge can always save face and tell the truth. “Who me, I didn’t know a thing!”

While listening to Gov Chris Christie’s almost two hour mea culpa tinged with his apparent ignorance of the facts, that term kept coming to mind. Really Gov, back in September when this bottleneck happened at the GWBridge, it never occurred to you? You don’t know what a “traffic study” looks like, I get that, kinda. I also get the wink and a nod politics of plausible deniability. This is now a “he said, she said” affair, and I can’t wait to see who gets the first interview with Bridget Ann Kelly, his Chief Deputy. Anderson, are you listening?

And I guess just because I happen to be a Jersey girl living in VA, I’m not the only one who compared Christie with Gov Bob McDonnell. Terry McAuliffe, Democrat, will be sworn in today in the pouring rain, while Republican McDonnell leaves him with a house divided, still believing he did nothing wrong in accepting extraordinary gifts from a donor:

“I am not perfect, but I have always worked tirelessly to do my very best for Virginia,” McDonnell told the state legislature Wednesday in a farewell address. “As a flawed human being, I’ve sometimes fallen short of my own expectations.”

Read more: http://www.politico.com/story/2014/01/new-jersey-chris-christie-virginia-bob-mcdonnell-republican-governors-scandal-102054.html#ixzz2q6QYWKur

Christie may have said he felt sad and betrayed, he may have invoked the stages of grief to elicit our pity, but it’s the people of NJ and VA who should be feeling pretty betrayed about now. Betrayal of the public’s trust is grounds for impeachment, and pleading your supposed ignorance will not help your cause. Any good lawyer who ever watched West Wing knows that! And for your viewing pleasure, next week’s New Yorker cover.

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The annual pilgrimage to Grandma’s house was capped off last night by a special tribute to the great American film classic, To Kill a Mockingbird. We were transported back to the deep South of the Depression with one of my favorite heroines, Scout, and her heroic Father, Atticus Finch. President Obama introduced the film on its 50th anniversary to an exceptionally large TV audience, by distilling the story – it’s about doing the right thing, even when it’s difficult.

And talking about the future with healthy, active octogenarians was one part of the weekend festivities. Change is always hard. Living in the same house for 45 years means that more than memories reside in every corner. And for some, like Atticus’ neighbor, Maudie, knitting on her porch in front of her beautiful garden, aging well, in their own home is the answer.

Here is a picture of the Rocker in a highchair and the Bride in the middle, happily enjoying a Seder years ago. This year the newlyweds were in Italy, but the Rocker was home from his tour and paying attention. He said he’s watching what we do with his Grandparents. Like Scout and her brother Jem were watching Atticus from the Colored balcony as he spoke about injustice and all men being equal, we parents model more than we’ll ever know.

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