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Posts Tagged ‘Florida Man’

I only know that it has to do with women,” Mr. Gaetz said. “I have a suspicion that someone is trying to recategorize my generosity to ex-girlfriends as something more untoward.”

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/01/us/politics/matt-gaetz-justice-department.html?action=click&module=Top%20Stories&pgtype=Homepage

We just cannot look away from the scandal of a certain Florida Panhandle Republican. Last year, while we were vacationing on 30A, we learned that Gaetz was living with a young man he alternately introduced as his aide, his pool boy and sometimes his “son.” Although he never adopted a child, ever. But today, it looks like payments for sex thru certain Apps, to women as young as 17, is bound to catch up with him.

Winning the prize for Most Vile Republican (still in office) is now a toss-up, Matt Gaetz or Ted Cruz?

The Bride has been making plans for another trip to the lower Panhandle on 30A. Bookings in Florida are few and far between because most people want to travel by car during our pre and post pandemic transition. And I understand, being in an airport for the first time in a year was frightening. My only requirements for another getaway? A golf cart and a heated pool! Also, I’ve decided to only live in caftans from now on!

Bob was missing his hot tub last night as temps dropped down below freezing. Here in Nashville, Spring has arrived with a vengeance. The daffodils Ms Berdelle spread around town have finally opened, the ground is carpeted with cherry blossoms, and the recent flooding is receding. Doves coo and perform mating rituals outside my window; robins and squirrels remind me to refill the bird feeder.

We seem to be emerging from a long, dark pandemic winter – taking baby steps, not sure what this new, vaccinated normal will look like.

Human mating rituals have never been easy, even pre-Covid and before dating Apps. I’m feeling sorry for single people now, will they put a giant V on their profile picture to prove they’ve been vaccinated? Where will they go on a first date? Is it OK to do inside dining? What was Gaetz thinking when he arranged these liaisons?

“One person said that the men also paid in cash, sometimes withdrawn from a hotel ATM.

Some of the men and women took ecstasy, an illegal mood-altering drug, before having sex, including Mr. Gaetz, two people familiar with the encounters said.”

Imagine that, we are hearing about the drug habits of two very different men simultaneously – one was Black from Minnesota, the other is still alive, and White.

After a week of quarantine, and one sleepover, the Grands have returned to school, smiling inside their Happy Masks. And the Rocker and his Bride have resumed house hunting in LA. It’s a sellers market with very few homes available, but we’re confident the right property will pop up. And when it does, our designing, Daughter-in-Love will transform its bones into the perfect abode, complete with a separate music studio. Fingers crossed.

This week in Nashville we had our first dinner guests – aside from the small family pod. I actually put on real shoes and make-up. They came inside our house… bearing a salad… and we hugged… no masks. Small talk felt big at first, then we settled into a delightful evening. The crepe shop around the corner has reopened. Passover has passed and Easter is on the horizon.

Will Gaetz resign before the Resurrection?

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A Southern summer is upon us. You can smell jasmine in the air. In this Time of Coronavirus, the days seem to creep by slower and more deliberately. First up: watering the garden right after breakfast because later in the day would be miserable; temperatures soar past 90 and the humidity is at extreme beach hair levels.

I’m feeling confined again, not just from this pandemic but also from the Nashville weather.

Luckily, Bob and I did manage to get out of the house this past holiday weekend. The Bride and Groom were cooking hot dogs and veggie burgers so we sat on one side of their expansive front porch. Two old grandparents in a pair of rocking chairs! After a week of hugs and kisses in Florida I’m bereft, we are again consigned to making a beating heart with our fingers and blowing kisses. Our first socially distant Fourth of July.

Even in the shade, and with fans whirring above our heads, sweat ran down my back. Even their two rescue dogs snuck back into the cool, air-conditioned house, abandoning food and family on the porch.

The real excitement came earlier in the day while I was assembling a vegetable tart. The Bride texted me – “I’m going to West Elm to look at rugs, wanna come?”

You betcha! A big, beautiful store? Why I haven’t been inside anything but a Whole Foods in months, during “senior” hours. Bob gave me his quizzical look, the one that says do you really want to risk your life over a bunch of tchotchkes? But I DID. I wanted to get out of the house, alone in the car for awhile, and wander around this hip, modern furniture store on the fancy side of town. With my daughter. Wearing masks of course. And it was delightful.

Everyone in the store was wearing a mask, and it was very early so there were just a few customers. The soaring ceiling gave me an extra level of comfort. I sat in swivel chairs. I picked up dishes even though a sign said “touchless shopping” was appreciated. Mea Culpa. We looked at rugs, all kinds of rugs; some with wool from New Zealand and some that resembled a Jackson Pollock painting. We were looking for an 8×10 to go into her new library – shelves had been built after all, and she wanted a cozy rug.

A soft, cozy rug to entice her little digital natives to curl up with a book.

But then I spotted one man in the store, walking around holding a mask in his hand. It wasn’t on his chin, or over his mouth right under his nose, which is another pet peeve. I guess he was too lazy to actually put it on on his face? He trailed behind his wife and a store employee, both in masks, and I had such a visceral feeling of contempt. Is he stupid? Does he feel like the rules – specifically for a mask mandate in public – don’t apply to him? He was not abiding by this social contract, he was threatening all our lives.

My daughter had just finished an evening shift in the ER, she had worn an N95 the night before for eight hours straight, and we were wearing our homemade cloth masks in the store. Our first time in a store. The least he could do was #MaskUp. To be clear, most people in Nashville are now wearing masks in public. We are still in the business of making masks for neighbors, in fact, the Grands like to count the number of masks they see whenever they ride in a car.

I really wanted to confront the mask-in-hand man, but I just steered clear. After all, what if he was a “Florida Man?” What if he started yelling at me, accusing me of taking away his freedom? What if he called the police? After all I’m a “Jersey Girl” so I wouldn’t back away from a fight.

I wonder, is a “Florida Man” the male equivalent of a “Karen?” I know lots of lovely Karens and hate this sobriquet for a middle-aged, white entitled woman; it seems like just another sexist remark. Maybe we should all stop using mean, stereotypical words to describe the human race!

Besides I just finished a Qigong class with my Florida man via Zoom. He lives in Gainesville and is absolutely kind and generous! I’m sure he wears a mask in public. And now I have to set up the yoga mats for Pilates Zoom with Bob.

Come to think of it, this hazy, lazy summer is starting to get busy!

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