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The Art Connection

September 23, 2012 by mountainmornings

My glamorous older sister, Kay, would always call our Mother, the Flapper, on Sunday mornings. It was pre-arranged. Right after CBS Sunday Morning was finished, during the wildlife roll call, my sophisticated New York City sib would dial up the Doyenne of Lake Minnetonka and they would discuss life in general, along with a few topics from the TV show. When the Flapper died, Kay started calling our brother Dr Jim, who lives right by that same MN lake. Or maybe he called her? I was too much of a news junkie, so I’d tune into the political talking heads on Sunday morning, if I wasn’t out at a farmer’s market or walking a dog or two. Now I sometimes join their Sunday morning calls by miraculously “merging” our numbers via iPhone.

And speaking of my “old” iPhone, I am a very spoiled and lucky new grandmother. Because due to the wonders of technology, and maybe karma, almost every morning I receive a text picture or video of the Love Bug. And I cannot wait to hear that cell phone beep! Happy 1 month birthday beautiful baby girl!

I guess for this mama and daughter, it all started when the Bride went off to college. I’d email her a “morning message” every single day. Email was pretty new in ’97, and my short sentences were meant to inspire and inform, I hoped the way a teacher might have something written on the blackboard as students walked into her classroom. I’d write things like, “I know you can ace that exam,” or “How can I make another article about the Garden Tour seem interesting?” I asked her if it was too intrusive and to my relief she said no, she loved getting them; I just may not get a reply every time, because you know she’s busy being a Duke college student and all. I understood, because it wasn’t really about politeness or manners with us. It was about the connection. The connection I lost in our family’s Year of Living Dangerously.

Perhaps it’s because I am fed up with political diatribes, or maybe because Bob is saving lives this morning, I found myself entranced with CBS Sunday Morning http://www.cbsnews.com/sunday-morning/ and I was touched by the story titled “The Healing Arts.” It’s about all the contemporary art lining the halls of Cedars Sinai Medical Center in LA. Who knew? But communing with art can lower your blood pressure and give a patient battling a crippling disease a different perspective – if just for the few minutes stroll down a hallway. Hospital as Art Museum – I like it! And it made me think of the art lessons Kay gave the very young Bride in her NYC apartment, and how much our young doctor loves to paint. She finished this painting in college, where she spent a semester in Paris, drawing and studying art. Cue the nature noise!

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Pentimento

September 20, 2012 by mountainmornings

My Mother, the Flapper was also known as Grandma Gi. In order to provide for her family, she worked as a bookkeeper for many years. Widowed three times, she adored President Franklin Delano Roosevelt. In fact, his picture hung in our kitchen, right next to the Crucifix. When she traveled to the Berkshires to help me with the newborn Bride, she was a retired 70 year old. Because Gi was a radically committed, life-long smoker, and Dr Bob knew about the hazards of second-hand smoke before the Surgeon General, she was banished to the porch for her bi-hourly habit. Now Septembers can get mighty cold in MA. This is why you see her holding my baby, over 30 years ago, wearing a face mask. Gi, aka the Flapper, had contracted pneumonia and had to return to her Condo on the Lake.

Lucky for me, I never smoked and my only banishment, while visiting the new Love Bug, was to my beautifully appointed, upstairs suite for sleep. I’m recounting those first few days in Nashville, because yesterday I had lunch with friends and happily offered up the replay. How I looked into my Grand Daughter’s eyes and saw the Bride. Like a beautiful work of art, after decades of overpaint, varnish, dirt and maybe even cigarette smoke is removed by a master restorer, I could glimpse the brush strokes of the original artist. Dark, and soulful, inquisitive and beckoning, her eyes spoke to me. And looking back through the lens of time, I could feel the steely determination of my Mother, to walk again when she was told she would be in a wheelchair for life. The utter devotion of my Nana, who held me tight, saving my life when a drunk driver rammed into our car in 1949. The unequivocal righteousness of my Great Grandmother, who sheltered coal miners and marched for their rights, even though she herself could not yet vote. Little Love Bug, I am happy to report that our President is soaring ahead in the polls on the women’s vote in this battleground state.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/decision2012/to-claim-virginia-obamas-hopes-rest-on-women/2012/09/19/8413388a-026a-11e2-9b24-ff730c7f6312_story.html?hpid=z1

And it’s not just because the President knows our Constitution backwards and forwards, and wants to keep government and religion separate, thereby protecting our reproductive rights. “Women registered voters trust Obama more than they do Romney to handle the economy, 52 to 39 percent.” FDR came from a wealthy family, yet he understood that government needs to care for 100% of its citizens and he almost singlehandedly pulled our country out of the Great Depression. I’m thinking I may have to frame a picture of Obama for our kitchen. L’Shana Tovah to our Jewish friends and family too.

Posted in Books, Journaling, Wedding, Country | Tagged , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

TRAP

September 18, 2012 by mountainmornings

Breaking news; “Board of Health Rejects Grandfather Amendment in Vote to Apply Proposed Regulations to Existing Women’s Health Clinics.” Wait you never heard of it? http://www.naralva.org/media/press/20120914.shtml

TRAP is a new word or acronym for me. I’ve only recently fully understood what it means. To be trapped, one thinks of being caged, like a wild animal. And in fact, that is exactly what many of these TRAP laws are trying to do – keep women in their place, barefoot and pregnant, and out of abortion clinics. TRAP stands for “targeted regulation of abortion providers.” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/14/virginia-abortion-clinic-regulations_n_1884897.html

Last week with very little fanfare, in my fair state of VA, the state for lovers, our Republican Ultrasound Gov McDonnell and Republican AG Cuccinelli shoved their TRAP regulations down the throats of our Board of Health. After voting to declaw the regulations by allowing existing clinics to be exempt, or grandfathered in, and only adopting the TRAP laws for NEW building, the BOH did an about face on Friday. It makes me wonder what type of leverage the 2 most powerful men in the state used on the Board so that they would change their decision? Oh wait, you can find anything on the internets:

“Funny thing is that the board made this decision after board members received a letter from the attorney general informing them that the state wouldn’t represent them if they were sued in response to the decision: Board member James Edmondson Jr. said that they were ‘warned’ that they could be left to defend themselves on the decision, and may have to cover their own legal fees.”

Now VA may have to close most Planned Parenthood clinics rather than totally retro-fit every facility in order to meet building codes previously only used for hospitals….
“The board’s 13-to-2 flip-flop provoked an outraged chorus of “shame, shame,” from abortion rights advocates gathered in the meeting room. Security swiftly ushered protesters out of the room, as one woman yelled, “‘You don’t give a shit about women living in Virginia!‘” http://feministing.com/2012/09/17/friday-vote-on-new-trap-law-may-decimate-abortion-access-in-virginia/

T – Target
R – Republicans
A – About
P – Patriarchy

I like that better. Stand up to these bullies. Private, out-patient surgical buildings owned by doctors or hospital groups that provide mammograms, colonoscopies, dental surgery, and even plastic surgery are not required to submit to TRAP laws, which should tell any discerning person something. The Director of VA’s NARAL, Tarina Keene said, “There’s no doubt in my mind that this is an attack on Roe, you can ban abortion by making it inaccessible.” If you want to take action, start here: http://www.naralva.org

If you believe that our legislators have the right to tell our doctors and nurses and the women of this country how, when and where they may access health care, well then I hope you are reading this. Maybe, since all of this targeting seems patently illegal, in the future the urologist who is about to perform a procedure on you in her office will have to switch you over to a hospital’s OR…and maybe make you wait awhile to contemplate your vasectomy?

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Honey Where You Been

September 16, 2012 by mountainmornings

Last night I finished a fun and compelling book, “Where’d You Go, Bernadette” by Maria Semple. Happened to pick it up in my favorite old-timey Nashville bookstore, Parnassus. http://www.parnassusbooks.net

It’s about a runaway mom, Bernadette; and her pre-teen daughter, Bee who is trying to find her. But really it’s about so much more. You will laugh at the description of Seattle, the mud slide and the penguins. Oh, it’s about Antarctica too.

And if you’re lucky, you will see a little bit of yourself in the heroine.

And here’s a little Sunday morning pick-me-up I’d like to dedicate to the new dad, the Groom and to the new uncle, the Rocker too. Because they like this kind of guitar pickin…

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Out of Touch

September 14, 2012 by mountainmornings

A funny thing happens when you leave your husband and your life behind and move in with your daughter and her new family for 3 weeks. It’s like I stepped into a time warp. Instead of CNN with my morning coffee, I played with the Love Bug during her “Happy Awake” time…then we’d have her “Musical Giraffe Interlude” followed by her nap and maybe I’d throw in some laundry. After the next nursing cycle, weather permitting, we might go out for a brisk dog walk in her Bob (that’s a stroller). And on and on my days would follow the sweet rhythm of life at home with a newborn. Imagine my surprise when I turned on CNN yesterday morning to pack for my return trip home, and found out the world may actually be coming to an end.

As you know, NPR is hard to find in the long state of TN but I did listen to a few programs about the new season on TV (boring) and a Black comedian on FX.http://www.npr.org/2012/09/13/161073894/totally-biased-comic-on-race-politics-and-audience – Nobody deserves to be shot, thank you W. Kamau Bell!

Nobody deserves to be shot. I hope you listened to Bell’s Dr Seuss-like rant about the difference between a sheik and a sikh. It is genius and I am now committed to watching his show “Totally Biased.” When he does his stand-up act, you can get a 2 for 1 ticket if you bring someone of another race with you. If only those 9 Arab countries that have decided to try and storm our embassies and burn our flag over a film…an internet film I still know nothing about and actually refuse to search for…if only they could defy their censors and watch a little bit of Bell comedy. Maybe the new generation might decide that killing for the sake of religion is absurd? And that nobody deserves to be shot, or stoned, or have any other biblical punishment rain down on them…because it’s 2012 people.

“A lot of times people think comedy is making fun of things, and I feel like, no, it can also just be making fun out of things,” Bell says. “That, to me, is the kind of comedy I always like to do, where you can make jokes about the thing without making fun of the thing.” Like when Ellen said at the Oscars after 9/11 that what would piss off Al Quaeda more than a gay woman in a suit entertaining a room full of Jews? Or maybe my Jewish folktale on 9/11? Almost everyone knows what it’s like to bring home a new baby. Humor hits our humanity’s funny bone.

It is a subtle difference, but a very important one! Goodbye for now little Love Bug. Nana will be back soon and we’ll discuss comedy.

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The Chickens are Out

September 11, 2012 by mountainmornings

There’s a very old Yiddish tale about a poor family who lived in a very small house. The couple had their 6th baby and the stress and the noise was bothering the husband. He couldn’t study the Torah let alone hear himself think. Finally his wife told him to go see the Rabbi, he’d know what to do.

The Rabbi said, “Do you own a cow?” the man said he did, and the Rabbi told him to bring the cow into the kitchen. Grumbling all the way home, the man did as he was told and led the cow into the kitchen. The next day he went back to the Rabbi and said it was only worse with his cow in the kitchen.

The Rabbi said, “Do you own some goats?” So the Rabbi told the man to bring the goats into the kitchen. This would help the cow to feel at home. The man did as he was told and the next day he went back to the Rabbi complaining that things were getting even worse. What should he do?

The Rabbi said, “Do you own any chickens?” The Rabbi promised the man that things would get better if he brought the chickens into the kitchen. What could the poor man do, he went and followed the Rabbi’s advice. Now he had his whole barnyard of animals in his kitchen and he thought to himself life couldn’t get any worse. So the next day he went back to the Rabbi.

“What have you done to me, Rabbi?” he cried. “It’s awful. I did what you told me and the animals are all over the house! Rabbi, help me!” So one by one the Rabbi told him to take the animals out of the house. First the cow, then the goats and finally the chickens…the chickens were out of the kitchen.

The next day the man came running back to the Rabbi again. “O Rabbi,” he said with a big smile on his face, “we have such a good life now. The animals are all out of the house. The house is so quiet and we’ve got room to spare! What a joy!”

This is what it’s like when you start a new family. Relatives come from near and far, friends bring frozen enchilada casseroles and cake. And then, after awhile, the chickens are out of the kitchen. The little family can breathe a big sigh of relief and get back to finding the joy in simple things…like naps, and dog walks, and bubble baths. And kissing baby toes, and eyes and ears, and…wait a minute. Is that a giraffe in my crib?

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Where Baby Bliss meets Normal

September 8, 2012 by mountainmornings

Normally, you would find some smart-alec retort here about politics. Normally, I would try and weave some family story into my opinion, hopefully with a dash of humor or at least a dollop of wit. And don’t get me wrong, I watched a few snippets of both conventions. I loved the nun and the ex-President, and even Mrs Mitt wasn’t too saccharine sweet. But life stopped being normal on August 25th, when I found myself transformed from the Mother-of-the-Bride to the Grandmother.

Nothing really prepares you for this stage in life. Gone are the black shoes and stockings of my Nana from Scranton, PA. I’m not pickling things and storing cans on the shelves leading down to the basement. I still have the sacred memory of Nana taking me to my very first movie – Picnic, starring William Holden and Kim Novak. In 1955 I was 7 years old when this classic was released and Nana told me only big girls are allowed in a movie theatre and that I couldn’t leave my seat and run up and down the aisles. Of course I can’t remember the plot, but something “big” was happening in the grass and I was praised for staying put.

Can you remember your first anything? The first time you rode a real bike, the first kiss? Mine happened on the Kindergarten school bus. A boy named Lloyd, who’s mom was what we called then a “war bride” from London, cornered me and kissed me. i remember feeling somewhat terrified and proud all at the same time. Growing up can be challenging. The simple courage to try something new has prompted Jamie Lee Curtis to write her latest children’s book, “My Brave Year of Firsts.” Curtis said, “I started thinking about how often we ask children to try things, and it brought up to me the bravery of being a kid; for a child, jumping a rope, riding a horse, tying shoes, going to school — all are new activities. But adults don’t naturally choose to do something brave. We’re afraid we’re going to look foolish.”

It’s true. We ask our young children constantly to just try some new food, while we are content to eat the same old thing for breakfast, lunch and dinner. But last night I tried something new, and it was delicious! The Rocker rolled into the Music City with Aunt Cait and made us dinner. We feasted on yummy quinoa cakes with a cranberry curry and yogurt remoulade, all made from scratch! The kale salad on the side was the best I’ve ever tasted. Later we watched the documentary “Babies” and that was illuminating and fun!

The Bride gave her brother his first lesson in diapering. As I watched, I felt true bliss. My baby boy had cooked for his sister and his new niece. Better it couldn’t be.

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“The Only Easy Day

September 5, 2012 by mountainmornings

…was yesterday.” My psychologist brother, Dr Jim, told me that this is a Navy SEAL saying, which explains the title of that book in the news, “No Easy Day.” You may or may not agree with the Pentagon about possibly seeking criminal charges against its author, but spokesman George Little said “Sensitive and classified information is contained in the book.” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/04/no-easy-day-pentagon_n_1855783.html

Yesterday we received very sensitive information about breastfeeding. My daughter and I talk about how taboo the subject still is, how strange it is that women show much less skin nursing under a well-placed receiving blanket or one of those fancy “hooter hiders” than they do at the beach. Baby Boomers have been making menopause proper dinner table conversation, maybe these Millennials will de-mystify breastfeeding and make public displays of nursing mamas acceptable. We decided that the Lactation Consultant specialist at their hospital is a veritable saint; and that the Love Bug is an epicurean delight.

Today is the Bride and Groom’s Wedding Anniversary, and tonight I have the honor of babysitting for the first time. They will walk to their favorite neighborhood restaurant for a romantic dinner. Bob has told them to make a date every week if possible, to get out and talk about life and all things not-so-baby-related. We did try and do that once the Bride was about 6 months old, though at the moment leaving her for more than 2 hours seems unimaginable.

Yesterday love was such an easy game,

Today it’s time to celebrate,

Tomorrow the Rocker arrives with Ms C to meet the baby. Hello bliss

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The Summer of Love

September 2, 2012 by mountainmornings

While you were watching the GOP Convention, I was snuggling my newborn Grand Daughter. Let’s pretend that she’s sitting in a chair…I know I know, she can’t sit up yet. But we are pretending.

“What’s that you say? You thought this whole outside the womb thing was going to be a piece of cake. I know. I know. Living is hard work. You’ve got to cry to get what you want.”

“No, no I wouldn’t want that. An outstanding public school system is hard to find in this holler. Relax, private schools have everything you’ll ever need.”

“Oh sure, Montessori is great to start. I forgot, you’ve got five years to worry about school. Let’s just try sleeping through the night first. But take your time, no rush, try not to worry so much.”

“Who were they? They are your other set of Grandparents. You are a very lucky girl, you have two sets of them and a matched pair of Great Grandparents. Now here’s the trick with us, we are all pretty crazy about you. Any little thing you want…well once you can talk. Anything you want, you just have to ask.”

“No, no you can’t have five houses. What would you do with so many homes? You’d what? No,,,that’s just out of the question, it’s not practical. Think about all the cleaning staff you’d need.”

“That’s right. For now, all you need is love. And believe me, this home is filled to overflowing.”

20120902-081444.jpg

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Oh I Wish I Had an App

August 29, 2012 by mountainmornings

Bob and I lost the Bride and the Groom in the hospital parking garage. Well we didn’t really lose them, since we have smart cells and can always find them again, wherever they are. Except for maybe a Caribbean island, our collective happy visualization spot! We were headed for Labor and Delivery; we picked up the happy couple on another subterranean floor and as we’re going up in the elevator, I repeat “BJ,” maybe a touch too loud. That is where we will presumably find my car again, once we are grandparents. Basment level, row “J.” Except for a small giggle from the back of the elevator, the Bride turns to me and says, “Don’t you have that App?” “What App,” I say.

It seems there is an App that will locate your car for you when you are stuck in an airport or mall parking lot, or even a covered, cavernous hospital garage. Now not only will I never get lost, I’ll never lose my car again! “Interesting,” I said, “Have they created an App that will tell me – “‘Why am I here?'” The whole elevator had a smile about that one. But really, besides the existensial question in general, why do we need grandparents? Let me count the ways.

To Cook! Your children will be busy, very busy with a newborn. Cooking anything will be appreciated. I lucked out cause the Groom does dishes.

To Shop! Of course you need to shop for the groceries to cook, which should include all your daughter’s favorite things…avocados, peaches, grapefruit juice. Don’t forget the new Dad, he needs beer and beef. You won’t go wrong. And be prepared to go on special hunting expeditions for things like Lansinoh Soothies Gel Pads – amazing things! Spell it out on your Notes App, L-A-N-S-I-N-O-H. ps Target carries them.

To Burp, Rock and Change the Occasional Diaper! Be prepared. Dads are way more involved than they were in our day. So the actual baby nurse duties will be minimal with a nursing Mom and today’s Dad.

To Give Nursing Advice! Who needs a doula when you have a Grandmother? Well, maybe we did. It’s been over 30 years since I nursed the Bride and for some strange reason this hospital doesn’t employ Lactation Counsultants on weekends. I had a 1-800 La Leche number, and now I have a post-menopausal brain that tends to forget the tough times of sleep deprivation and an inverted nipple. Lucky for me, the Bride has a very cooperative baby girl!

To Know When NOT to Give Advice! This can be tricky. I learned a long time ago never to give anyone advice unless they asked for it. But when it’s your daughter, and your brand new grand daughter you may start to feel just like one of those crazy, old women who would constantly tell you what to do when you were a new mom. “What do you mean the nurse recommends not putting lotion on her bottom?” “You’re going to swaddle her that tight?” Anyway, try very hard to keep most of your opinions to yourself – unless asked. My daughter said she only sees babies in the ER who are either dehydrated or febrile and septic, so I trust her to know what to do in most every circumstance. Still, that leaves a wide range of normal neonate behavior, right? “Wait, you want the dog to lick her face?”

To Take Pictures. My phone has like 4 or 5 picture Apps! Here’s the thing, you get to take pictures as much as you want! And you get to catch those unlikely times with the whole new family. For instance, I think this looks like a soap opera. First time nursing in the recovery room: nurse at the computer, BFF and colleague Kristyn comes in, off camera are many of their friends who are residents…all crying. And bam, the Groom turns. What is he thinking?

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