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When is a Charity More Like a Tax?

August 19, 2012 by mountainmornings

Good rainy Sunday morning. Have you been bombarded by insulting, demeaning campaign ads yet? Well, I’m ready to throw in the towel, and we still have 3 months to go. I’m tired of hearing about Paul Ryan and his Mother in “The Villages,” which reminds me of an old BBC show that has been locked in the back of my mind for decades. I have an older brother, Dr Jim, who would stay up late with me and we’d watch a cult classic called “The Prisoner.” It was about a British spy, Patrick McGoohan, who finds himself living a lie captured in this beautiful seaside resort called “The Village” where he is monitored at all times by a bubble-like Rover, foreshadowing “The Truman Show.”

“I am not a number, I’m a free man!” Hallucinogenic drugs and mind control mix to keep McGoohan’s character in line, to give evil Number 2 the information he so desperately desires. The Village’s population, hundreds of diverse people are all referred to by numbers, and go along with the pretense. Which is maybe why I thought that somehow Ryan was mesmerizing these FL Village people into believing that he really did have their best interests at heart? Just as Ryan has been backing away from his favorite author, Ayn Rand, he is bringing up themes from the great paradox of governments everywhere – individualism vs collectivism.

And just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, I read an article in the Washington Post that inferred that Mitt’s selflessness, his philanthropy, his willingness to give so much to charity makes up for his puny tax returns. http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/romneys-equating-of-taxes-and-charitable-giving-sparks-debate/2012/08/18/63bea3e6-e891-11e1-936a-b801f1abab19_story.html?fb_ref=sm_btn_fb “Republican presidential challenger Mitt Romney…responded to questions about how much he pays in taxes by suggesting that people should take into account his total contributions to the government and charities.” What do you think?

Well, I don’t know about you, but giving roughly half of your tax-exempt donations to a charity called the Mormon Church doesn’t cut it with me. So if you’re a single parent and all of a sudden, you’ve lost your job and you find yourself applying for food stamps, maybe you could stop for a minute, and just call up the church? Making a choice this November between a Republican and a Democrat could never be clearer. If half the American population thinks that entitlements like Medicare and Social Security and Pell Grants are hand-outs that will keep you from becoming your own best, prosperous self, then maybe we are all heading to The Villages?

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If You Find a Dead Bird

August 16, 2012 by mountainmornings

I am more likely to fill Bob’s inbox with news he just can’t refuse or use, but recently he sent me this: http://www.cnn.com/2012/08/04/health/west-nile-virus/index.html?hpt=hp_t2 Here is the hook-catching first sentence – “The United States is experiencing its biggest spike in West Nile virus since 2004, with 241 cases of the disease reported nationwide this year so far, including four deaths, health officials said.”

It was August in 2004 when I woke up thinking my head was going to explode. It was the worst headache of my life, or maybe the second worst after experiencing the Hong Kong flu back in the 60s. I don’t get migraines and rarely complain. Besides, I know that so long as I’m not in fear of imminent death, my personal ER doc was off limits. He always made a point of not treating relatives for ethical reasons. He’s seen it all and heard it all, and I know he doesn’t want to hear from me…unless I’m dying. I didn’t know I actually was.

I had stopped writing for the paper and was busy getting my son ready and packed for college. Our house had been sold, so I was also packing for our move South. Of course, it wasn’t a very good time to get sick, but then again, when is? I would get up, drink coffee, maybe shower, take Tylenol (making my temp go from 103 to 101) and go back to bed. On the second or third day, I went to an Urgent Care. The doctor told me I had a gastroenteritis, even though my stomach was fine. It was my head. I dragged myself through a mall to purchase last minute college stuff. One day I went to an orchid greenhouse with Bob, thinking the flowers would cheer me up. In the hothouse, I truly felt my head would split open.

Then, still a news junkie and finding myself in front of a muted TV, I could not read the news crawl on the bottom of CNN. The headache, the fever, fine, but not reading the news was the last straw. I had great eyesight, but I looked in the mirror and it looked as if 2 giant red stop signs were peering back at me. I decided even though things were blurry, I needed to get to an eye doctor right away. It was just a couple of miles up River Road. First clue, we lived in the priciest swamp around, Rumson, NJ. Between 2 rivers and home to abundant wildlife and waterfowl. In fact, people had been finding dead black birds all around town…that was the second clue.

The ophthalmologist’s Red Bank office was empty. His staff insisted on my paying one hundred dollars up-front, since they didn’t participate with my insurance. I’m not sure how I even drove there, I was too sick to argue, I hadn’t been eating, it actually hurt to eat. Later I thought, this is the best diet plan ever – I lost 15 pounds in one week. This “doctor” didn’t even do a visual acuity check, he told me to go home and “wash your hands.” His diagnosis – conjunctivitis! Finally, almost a week to the day from that first headache, the next day Bob was off and I stood in front of him and gave him the whole story. He took one look at my eyes and brought me to another Ophthalmologist with a capital “O” my saviour, Dr MacDonald of Shrewsbury, NJ.

I was one of the first in a string of people infected with this virus, via a mosquito, that produces encephalitis in a lucky few, 1 out of 150. I was that mom moving her son into his College of NJ dorm while simultaneously putting steroid drops in my eyes every hour. I was lucky I only lost a part of my peripheral vision. I’m writing this to let you know that even with a doctor in the family, I wasn’t treated well by the health community. It’s your health and you need to own it. I spent a week suffering, and that was my mistake, So here is the CDC fact sheet on this mosquito-born illness, West Nile,
http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/dvbid/westnile/wnv_factsheet.htm which ends with:

“If you find a dead bird.” And if you live in Texas, Mississippi or Oklahoma, or near a river anywhere where mosquitoes like to bite at dusk and dawn, take precautions please!

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The Candywoman Can

August 14, 2012 by mountainmornings


Who knew that naming the moderators for Fall’s upcoming Presidential debates would be historic? No woman has sat in that seat, asking the hard questions and keeping the candidates on point and on time since 1992. And now more than ever, we need you Candy Crowley. “A trio of high school girls from New Jersey had mounted an online petition campaign to get a woman back on the debate stand. Emma Axelrod, Sammi Siegel and Elena Tsemberis were cheering the Commission on Presidential Debates for its choice…” In addition, ABCs Martha Raddatz will moderate one vice-presidential debate. Go Girl Power! http://www.latimes.com/news/politics/la-pn-candy-crowley-presidential-debate-20120813,0,5837308.story

Crowley has said that her first instinct was to think, “Great!” As a journalist, CNN’s Chief Political Correspondent, who hosts the Sunday morning TV show State of the Union http://sotu.blogs.cnn.com and specializes in our House and Presidential elections, Crowley was honored to be asked and jumped at the chance; and not surprisingly, being a woman wasn’t her first thought. She is a professional, and her goal, she said this morning on CNN, is to think outside of the beltway. Her goal will be to ask questions that people want to know. So Ms Crowley, if you’re listening, here are my top 3 questions for your October 16th debut, at Hofstra University in New York, from one inquiring mind.

1) Where do you think our “Rights” come from? Mitt, your running mate, Paul Ryan, has said he believes our Rights come from “God and nature, not from government.” Do you agree? Hopefully this question, in a town hall format, will open up all sorts of other questions about religion and human rights (which are also women’s rights…and LGBT rights). I’d like to know if Mitt is really planning to close Planned Parenthood and I’d like to know if Barrack is planning to close Gitmo.

2) How does your economic philosophy differ from your opponent? What is your plan to create jobs and at the same time, close the deficit? A seemingly incompatible duo – increase AND decrease. A sort of Houdini-like concept, but OK, try and give us an answer. I’d like to hear the top 3 priorities of each candidate, in a nutshell. Vouchers for Medicare? Push Social Security benefits to age 68? We want details, facts, not party talking points. Come out from behind the curtain and explain this economy to us.

“Unfortunately the key factual question regarding the effect of the Obama Administration’s stimulus appears – at first glance – to be out of easy reach. It is essentially a question of what would have happened if what did happen didn’t. Did the Administration’s policy matter? What would have been the result without it?” http://www.niemanwatchdog.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=background.view&backgroundid=00645

3) What have you learned from a recent mistake? In introducing your running mate this August Mitt, you made a bit of a gaffe calling Ryan “The next President of the United States.” You laughed about it, and immediately corrected it. How about health care policy – was your health insurance/universal health care plan good for MA? You agreed with a mandate then. And Barrack, do you regret spending so much political leverage on the Affordable Care Act?

I covered a few Town Hall meetings in my day. One stands out in my mind, one in which my friend arrived with bags of toy guns we had accepted at a Peace Fair’s “exchange your water pistol for a care bear” booth. The House Republican candidate for the 12th District in NJ, Dick Zimmer was a wunderkind. He had passed Meghan’s Law, and been a part of that GOP landscape for years. What bothered me was his position on assault weapons, he liked them. In 1994, President Clinton and Congress passed a 10 year ban on assault weapons, and good ole Dick wanted to just let that ban expire. Spotting the bags of toy guns, his operatives were doing their best NOT to call on us, but eventually we asked him to explain his position.

Good luck Candy! Whatever you do, with your gang of “undecided” Town Hall voters, take that ear bud out of your ear and look for the bags of toy guns.

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Summer Color

August 12, 2012 by mountainmornings

Black – searching for rugs:

Let’s do a six-worded color memoir for summer so far. The other day, we awoke to see 2 adolescent foxes playing on our lawn.

Lavender – sometimes at sunset:

They were pouncing, strolling, swatting and scratching. It was parallel play; searching for bugs beneath the grass.

White – butterfly on hydrangea:

I watched them silently, through the French door, wishing to run and get my camera, but rightfully fearing that opening the door would scare them off. .

Pink – peonies at a baby shower:

Their reddish-brown fur gave me this idea

Brown – pup on deck:

Have a sweet Sunday y’all!

Green – an August wedding:

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Feminine Back Lash

August 9, 2012 by mountainmornings

I don’t know about you, but I’ve become completely pissed off about the coverage of the 2012 Olympic Games in London. Nothing against you, London, you’re brilliant! On this beautiful morning, Americans are waking up to the Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh Jennings “Third Gold Medal Story.” The funny thing is, in our inter-connected world, there is absolutely no way NOT to hear about their victory, so staying up past your bedtime to watch the inevitable just seems well, to me, pointless. Which is why I’m so pointlessly tired this morning. Hooray for them http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/08/kerri-walsh-misty-may-tre_n_1757636.html and kudos to these California goddess’ who were lucky to have been born into stable, “normal” homes, graduated from college (Long Beach State and Stanford) and still manage to dominate their sport while looking good playing volleyball semi-naked in the sand in their mid-30s.

Now, let’s take off our sunglasses and cut to some of our other athletes. The not so lucky ones, like Lolo Jones. First of all, what a name and what a babe! I caught an interview where she mentioned “all the hate,” right after Rachel Maddow did a PSA about how Lolo was homeless for awhile as a kid…with the Salvation Army in the background. Now remember I love the Salvation Army, they were the only charity to show up after the Flapper’s car crash. It seems the “hate” Lolo was getting in the media came from, of all places, the New York Times http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/05/sports/olympics/olympian-lolo-jones-draws-attention-to-beauty-not-achievement.html?_r=4&adxnnl=1&smid=tw-share&adxnnlx=1344524444-dC2lqwNIBMdznmbDmYzc1g
“Jones has received far greater publicity than any other American track and field athlete competing in the London Games. This was based not on achievement but on her exotic beauty and on a sad and cynical marketing campaign.”

I looked at the nude picture she was criticized for, sitting backwards on a chair looking over her shoulder; I thought we saw more skin in beach volleyball. It was like a modern VerMeer painting. I felt so bad for Lolo coming in 4th in the hurdles, but imagine she was 4th in the WORLD. Who is the NYTimes to say she’s all looks and no substance?

Now we have Gabby Douglas, the golden girl gymnast with a megawatt smile. And instead of focusing on her achievements, the media follows the trail of yellow/twitter/journalism about her “Flying Squirrel” nickname and Gabby’s family dealing with bankruptcy, and her hair…??

So Serena Williams is standing on the winner’s podium, her Afro flying gloriously around her face, getting her Gold Medal when the American flag flies off in the wind just as the words in our anthem begin, “…and our flag was still there.” And everybody smiles and congratulates each other, and gets the irony. But it’s all good, until she does a little Crip walk on the sidelines. OK so her extemporaneous dance is what you highlight? All those male peacocks, preening and posing and dancing at the Olympics and this offends?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/08/serena-williams-olympics-_n_1757245.html

A word to the wise young, female athlete. Don’t be too pretty. Do have a professional do your hair, and Don’t dance as if no one is watching. OR just ignore the blogosphere, the twitter feed and the main and not-so-main stream media. They haven’t caught up to you yet. This is the year of the woman at the Olympics – every country has been represented by our gender. For some reason, that fact doesn’t really make me rejoice.

But this does: a young Jewish gymnast , Aly Raisman from MA, dedicated her Gold Medal to the Munich 11. Thank you ALy, for doing the right and proper thing. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2185361/Olympics-2012-U-S-gymnast-Aly-Raisman-reveals-gold-medal-winning-routine-tribute-1972-Munch-Games-massacre.html

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Achilles Pilatus

August 7, 2012 by mountainmornings

At first glance, you may think I’m going to opine about some new exercise regimen, leg stretching perhaps? But no, this is a story about a tiny mishap. A politician’s vulnerable spot, a decision he/she made in her past that continues to haunt them long after that mistake was made right. In Missouri, a Pilatus PC-12/45 aircraft, the king of “small planes” worth $2.1 Million, is Claire McCaskill’s inflamed Achilles heel. A blue dog Democrat, known for her demands for transparency in government, she is still dealing with political jet lag, even though her husband sold the “damn” plane last year at a loss. Unfortunately for her, they had failed to pay over $300,000 in state back taxes and penalties on the plane; Claire said that was a “big, serious, sloppy mistake,” and the taxes were eventually paid. http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1011/66863.html

Now granted, she has apologized, regrets ever owning the Pilatus, and has repaid the government, but Republicans smell blood in the water and attack ads are drowning her. We all know that an abominable amount of money will be spent in the next few months in 10 states, including my own. And I wonder just how long does it take for people to forget and/or forgive such a transgression? In 2010, Louisiana Republican Senator David Vitter was re-elected, despite having acknowledged his involvement in a prostitution ring in 2007 – 3 years. Claire’s jet saga is just a year and a half old; will her constituents give her a pass? And it makes me wonder, why all the brouhaha over a plane, when a Presidential candidate continues to hide his tax returns in plain sight…

If you’ve ever wondered about private aviation, chartering and/or owning small jets to get around, instead of standing in lines and disrobing through security check points at commercial airports, here is a description of a Pilatus 12 for sale: “The popular six-seat platinum executive interior features articulating headrests on all seats, plus adjustible leg rests on the two aft seats. Three stowable tables, a refreshment cabinet and CD cabinet/iPod station are also provided, as well as a desirable fully-enclosed flushing lavatory.” But the kicker is the cabin is pressurized, meaning you can fly way over 9,000 ft, and have a faster, less bumpy ride without oxygen canulas in your nose! I recently met a woman who flies in that kind of style, with 2 pilots behind the wheels. It is rarefied air, a kind of “shall we build an elevator for our cars” wealth.

Some of you may have flown in a tiny, 4-seat, fixed-wing aircraft. Shall I compare Bob’s little Arrow to Claire’s Achille’s heel? Thou art more lovely and more temperate, like a well-loved, old VW bug to a Mazarati. Here it is in the shop for its annual exam, getting buffed and polished. Pilot Bob wants to be able to lift off the moment we hear those 4 little words – “I am in labor.” And a word to the wise, if you have the slightest thought of running for political office, hire a reputable tax attorney.

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Curious

August 4, 2012 by mountainmornings

What will be happening on Monday, August 6th at 1:31 am? An Olympic archery competition, or maybe diving? Nope. A tiny 2,000 pound robotic spacecraft, the size of a Mini Cooper, will navigate its way onto the surface of Mars at a cost of $2.5 billion dollars. NASA has named “her” the Curiosity Rover, and she will be touching down “naked” (without any protective wrapping) assisted by a parachute and a sci-fi Sky Crane. The feed of course will be delayed, but you can watch the action on NASA TV http://www.nasa.gov/multimedia/nasatv/index.html or follow her on Twitter https://twitter.com/MarsCuriosity…Twitter, I may just have to join your tribe.

I was listening to this podcast on NPR http://www.npr.org/2012/08/03/158100726/rover-to-look-for-building-blocks-of-life-on-mars with Bob in the car. My first question was why do we always refer to ships and planes, and most vehicles with the feminine pronoun? Is grammatical gender a feminist issue? Romance languages are replete with feminine and masculine inanimate objects, but we English speakers, not so much. Then when the scientists were discussing its mission, to dig deep below the surface in search of frozen water, and possibly find DNA and RNA and proteins that might hint at evidence of life on the planet, I turned to Bob and said, “Wow, if it’s like us, we may have to re-think Scientology!”

The story only gets curiouser. Of course I had to research the whole “7 minutes of terror” theory, when the Curiosity would leave its orbit and descend to Mars – going from a speed of 13,000 MPH to about 200. And I love the personal story of the Entry, Descent and Landing (EDL) team leader, engineer Adam Steltzner. “He has pierced ears, wears snakeskin boots and sports an Elvis haircut.” Here is a guy who was coasting in high school, then descended into the sex, drugs and rock and roll pit that was the Bay Area of the 70s. His first car was a 69 Cadillac hearse and his dad told him he’d never amount to anything but a ditch digger, then one day he’s driving home from a gig and thinks to himself, hey, the constellation of Orion is in a different place than it was earlier. Steltzner starts taking a physics course at the local community college, and the rest is history, or herstory! http://www.scpr.org/news/2012/08/03/33644/crazy-smart-when-a-rocker-designs-a-mars-lander/

“I grew up in an era where space was revered,” he said. “So I think there’s a kind of natural ego drive to be involved in something so sexy. And I came from rock ‘n’ roll, and there’s a lot of sexy in rock ‘n’ roll. So in terms of, really, just what I would need to measure myself, it could have been waste treatment, but I also needed a little bit of sexy.” So here’s to all those women and men, rock and roll scientists and engineers out there, you’re sexy and we know it!

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Wonderful World

August 1, 2012 by mountainmornings

Have you ever been to any of the World Heritage Sites? The first time I heard of them was on my first ancestral homeland trip to Ireland. My Great Great Grandparents came from County Mayo, so while visiting the Lynn cousins and taking in all the brightly marked sheep, Bob and I trekked up to Ceide (pronounced CAY-ja) which means a flat land on top of a mountain. “It is a unique Neolithic landscape of world importance, which has changed our perception of our Stone Age ancestors. The remains of stone field walls, houses and megalithic tombs are preserved beneath a blanket of peat.” http://www.museumsofmayo.com/ceide.htm I loved how barren it seemed, and windswept. I could imagine the female pirate queen, Gráinne Ní Mháille (c. 1530 – c. 1603 aka Grace O’Malley) surveying her land and setting sail from this wild side of the island.

Imagine my delight to learn that my very own newly adopted city, Charlottesville, VA and Jefferson’s magnificent Monticello have been deemed one of the 10 top World Wonders by National Geographic! http://travel.nationalgeographic.com/travel/world-wonders-traveler-photos/#/world-wonders-monticello_54484_600x450.jpg
We already knew that Monticello was a World Heritage Site, and now we feel doubly blessed by UNESCO and National Geographic! Can you name the other 7 sites in the US of A? A Hint – we passed by this famous statue on the Bride’s Bat Mitzvah boat…

And the most wonderful sight of all? Meeting my baby boy 28 years ago today. Gladiolas were in bloom and his big sister was waiting patiently to welcome him home to our house on the edge of a bird sanctuary. Happy Birthday to the Rocker, the boy who could run before he could walk. I am so very proud of the man you have become.

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Olympic Fever

July 30, 2012 by mountainmornings

With my daughter entering her last month of pregnancy, and the London Olympics dominating the airwaves, I am reminded of the birth of my son. The Rocker was born on August 1st during the summer Olympics in LA. From our nest on the edge of a bird sanctuary in Pittsfield, MA, we got to know each other to the background of diving, swimming and gymnastic events. Without PCs or cable channels, the Olympic coverage was our only form of entertainment between nursing and napping. At his Bris, we had 2 Rabbis – the new one who had a portrait of Bob Dylan hanging in his office, and the elderly Rabbi Emeritus who has served the congregation for 60 years.

The Rocker was doubly blessed.

To be honest, I don’t remember much about the Munich 11. Twelve years before my son’s Berkshire birthday, a group of Palestinian terrorists murdered 11 Israeli athletes in cold blood in the Munich Olympic Village. And this year, while I was visiting with the Bride and later attending my brother the Viking’s funeral, I became vaguely aware of a petition that was signed by presidents and dignitaries around the world. The petition asked for a “moment of silence” during the opening ceremony, a pause to remember those athletes who had been slain in Munich because they were Jews. The IOC denied the petition. Instead they had a moment of silence for those who have died in war before the televised opening ceremony, before the Queen and her Corgis made their spectacular entrance.

Sportscaster Bob Costas said, “For many, tonight, with the world watching, is the true time and place to remember those who were lost, and how and why they died.” Then I began to hear more about this petition. It was nothing new, in fact 2 widows of the Munich 11, Ankie Spitzer and Ilana Romano, have been asking the Olympic Committee for a moment of silence since the massacre happened in 1972.

“This is something the I.O.C. ought to do,” NY Rep Elliot Engel said. “Those in the I.O.C. said this is political, and they don’t want to have politics in the Olympic Games. It’s the opposite. It’s political not to have a moment of silence. And if it were any other nation but Israel, there would be a moment of silence long ago. It’s the decent thing to do.” http://london2012.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/07/25/munich-widows-to-meet-with-rogge-to-urge-moment-of-silence/

My first thought, after the tragedy in Colorado, upon seeing my beautifully serene Blue Ridge Mountains, was why stir up the pot. I had seen Spielberg’s movie “Munich,” and thought this is madness, a biblical blood feud. But then I thought about those widows, and the mothers of the Israeli athletes, and I thought about how political it was for all the Arab states to threaten a boycott of the games if a moment of silence were observed. http://www.algemeiner.com/2012/07/24/olympic-committee-vp-fear-of-arab-boycott-led-to-minute-of-silence-rejection/ “Moments of silence have been held at previous Olympic ceremonies, including one remembering the victims of the 9/11 attack at the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City, Utah.” And then I thought…never agin. We must keep remembering; it’s politics that placed the Black athlete’s fists in the air in 1968, and it was politics that thrust thousands of Nazi arms out in salute to Hitler on August 1, 1936 at the Berlin games. Politics is interwoven in everything we do, but a moment of silence is testament to our humanity.

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What Happened to Me

July 27, 2012 by mountainmornings

Bob sat down next to me at the graveside service, a handful of dirt in his hand. I gave him one of my most scathing looks and whispered, “This is not a Jewish ceremony, don’t throw that dirt in my brother’s grave.” On top of the purple and gold flowers cascading over the casket, the pall bearers filed by placing their boutonnieres in the arrangement. Then the minister started to speak about how in their reform (Presbyterian) tradition, emphasis is placed on the afterlife, and not on the body. And while reciting the prayer “…ashes to ashes, dust to dust,” the solemn/seersucker/suited/Southern preacher threw a handful of dirt in among the flowers. Bob turned and smiled at me.

“Isn’t religion useful?” I said, while driving along on our twelve hour road trip home. The book NPR was discussing with its author was What Happened to Sophie Wilder, by Christopher Beha. http://www.npr.org/2012/07/26/157424289/christopher-beha-on-faith-and-its-discontents Beha is a lapsed Catholic, a non-believer like me, and he wrote a fictional account about an old college love who converted to Catholicism. I was riveted. After the radio interview, our discussion ran deep. Losing a family member, even when it was expected and an end to endless suffering, can bring some clarity into our own lives. Life is fragile, hang onto the good times, and yes, isn’t religion “useful.” Bob and I were talking about the service, the minister’s warm and heartfelt tribute to Mike, who had told him time and time again, “You’re doing my funeral, you’re MY man!” No one could refuse my brother.

I grew up super-Catholic because my foster parents were Catholic and my dead Father had been a church-going Catholic and not a “cultural Catholic.” Sacred Heart School, Camp St Joseph for Girls, maroon beanies and bow ties followed by khaki shorts and mass every morning in the summer. Beha was asked when he lost his faith and I was thinking about my own fall from grace. Remember, I was 11 when I went to live with the Flapper forever. She married a Jewish man, a judge in our small town. I acquired Jewish step-siblings and my brother Jim went to Columbia University. My first foray into a temple was for Purim, when kids dressed up in costumes and made noise like a Jewish Halloween! The polar opposite of the Latin Mass. I was hooked. Dinner table talk became enlightening, expansive. The Flapper loved Buddhism and wanted to travel to Hong Kong; she had been raised Presbyterian I believe, but always said that organized religion was for sheep. Sundays became a day for sleeping-in, the New York Times and lox and bagels with whitefish – no more church-going for me. But since I could first form a thought in my head, I never did buy the idea that only Catholics would get into heaven…and limbo? After 9/11, I was permanently done with religion of any kind.

So what is faith and how do we keep it? Mike grew up Catholic, married a Baptist, and was buried near William Faulkner by a Presbyterian. My Jewish MIL bought my cemetery plot near hers, soon after I married her son. Was this marriage counselor trying to tell me something about ’till death do us part? My step-father is buried there, and so is Bob’s brother Richard. I once knew a rabbi who said we haven’t really grown up until we plan our own funeral. Mike lived his life his way, not looking for accolades but working tirelessly. We will never know all of his good deeds, because for such a powerful man, he was pretty humble. That was rule number one from the nuns. He loved Great Danes, and his elegant Carmen never left his room. Frank Sinatra was playing, and a brother-in-law spoke about the dog sculpture that always sat on his Vikings desk. Emblazoned on its backside were the words, “If you’re not first in line, the view never changes.”

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