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Posts Tagged ‘Designers’

The Love Bug wanted to paint her bedroom her favorite color, BLUE, before school started, and sure her Mother could have hired a painter, taken the easy route. But where’s the fun in that? And what kind of lesson does outsourcing send to our kids? And though we haven’t done any painting in a dog’s age, we offered to help. Bob went to the paint store with them to get everything they needed – the rollers, brushes, tape, etc. And Saturday, the Grands came over to cart our long ladder over to their house. They were ready to begin.

I’ve lost track of how many rooms I’ve painted over the years. It’s never been a solitary activity. You order pizza, buy some beer, and invite your friends over to help paint. We even bartered a paint job with a tenant in the basement apartment of the medical school foursquare in Charlottesville. Free rent if he painted his apartment, which he did! We did a lot of painting and wallpapering in NJ, but right about the time we started building our house in the Blue Ridge Mountains, we realized it was best if the painting was left to the professionals. Also, we hit middle age.

Painting is a young person’s game.

The first day was all about preparation – laying down tarps, moving furniture, spackling picture holes and cracks, sanding and taping the trim. I forgot how much of painting is actually just getting ready to paint. The next day we were ready to begin. I offered to bring lunch, which was appreciated since the Groom was on call in the MICU and the Bride had two Bluebird appointments. I mean what else could I do? Ladders are verboten to me, and she has cathedral ceilings!

I did help pick the shade of blue. When I asked Bob what colors the Bug was considering he said, “Sky blue, sky blue and sky blue.” I swear sometimes I think Bob is color blind. SO I marched myself over to their house in the middle of the week to look at the three swatches of blue on the Bug’s bedroom wall. One was too green. Of the remaining two periwinkle colors one was lighter than the other. Good thing I sided with the rest of the females in the family. The deeper shade won, Sherwin Williams’ “Something Blue.”

Picking out the wall colors for the casita was easy. I just asked my brilliant designer DIL, Aunt Kiki, what was hip in off-white these days. The last time I picked an off-white it was Navajo White, which almost looks beige. She told me she loves Swiss Coffee, and so I looked it up – it’s a creamy, warm off white with a balanced light reflection value (LRV), and looks great with natural woods according to the experts. It also looks good with my sage green kitchen cabinets.

But back to Funday Sunday After lunch, my main job was holding the ladder for the Love Bug, a most important role! After all, she was reaching eleven feet up in the air! The Pumpkin was relaxing since he was going to do most of the rolling with a very long handle, while Bob and the Bride used brushes to paint near the white trim. After a couple of hours, the Groom arrived back from the hospital to take over the tall, ceiling adjacent painting on the ladder. At one point, I was able to dab a little paint around her closet door, which was extremely satisfying.

We laughed, we told stories, we listened to Olivia Rodrigo on my phone. And now, the about to turn 14 beautiful Bug can say she painted her own room, with a little help from her fam. ps – just looked up Olivia Rodrigo tickets for her Nashville dates and she is sold OUT! Well, it was a good birthday present idea. ps Proposed amendment to the Torah – Parents teach your children how to swim and paint!

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Forget Fashion Week. And don’t talk politics with me, I’m feeling sick about the whole darn mess. Shall I tell you what I want, what I really really want?

A dress.

I’m on the hunt for a dress for two glamorous occasions – our 50th high school reunion next month, and my son’s wedding next year. Yes, I don’t think it’s too much to ask this dress to do double duty. One occasion will be a beachy/Cali vibe, while the other will be what, more of a, “Of course it’s you, I’d recognize you anywhere after 50 years!”

Seeing as in 1966 I was dressed usually in loafers and kilts, my primal brain is feeling that approach/avoidance sensation. First because lots of our old friends have become new Facebook friends, and I can’t wait to actually SEE them again, and second, this is the avoidance part, because I remember hunting for a Mother-of-the-Bride dress in 2010.

“Everything I try on either makes me look like a stuffed sausage, or a Peggy Sue prom queen,” was my lament to Bob six years ago. We even traveled to the big city of Richmond, but came back empty-handed. Here is one of the few pix from the Bride’s wedding where I do not have a huge scarf draped around me – the detail from the back is telling. I need straps first and foremost! jm-0925

Unfortunately the fashion industry didn’t listen to my sobbing pleas for help then, and now it’s only worse. Yesterday I listened to NPR in the car, with Tim Gunn talking about his industry’s failure with plus-size women. He had this to say to the Washington Post:

Have you shopped retail for size 14-plus clothing? Based on my experience shopping with plus-size women, it’s a horribly insulting and demoralizing experience. Half the items make the body look larger, with features like ruching, box pleats and shoulder pads. Pastels and large-scale prints and crazy pattern-mixing abound, all guaranteed to make you look infantile or like a float in a parade. Adding to this travesty is a major department-store chain that makes you walk under a marquee that reads “WOMAN.” What does that even imply? That a “woman” is anyone larger than a 12, and everyone else is a girl? It’s mind-boggling.   https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2016/09/08/tim-gunn-designers-refuse-to-make-clothes-to-fit-american-women-its-a-disgrace/?utm_term=.410b22a78cad

Thanks Tim, and yes designers are thinking about size 0 to 6 instead of size 16, but lots of us “Women of a Certain Age” fall somewhere in the middle and still cannot find a decent dress to save our lives. I noticed that Marilyn Monroe’s Happy Birthday Mr President’s dress is going to the auction block and should fetch around 2-3M. OK, so what if she had to be sewn into the thing and couldn’t sit down the whole night. Rumor has it it’s a size 12! Would it be oh so hard to design a dress just a little less sexy than her sequined, see-through number? Maybe something not matronly or childish?

I totally get Hillary’s pant suits now…

Designers I have a tip for you. Stop looking at movies for inspiration, or the 18th Century. Start looking at us! What makes our bodies look good? Yes we have ‘born babies’ and were the first generation to breast feed our offspring since our immigrant ancestors stepped off the boat in this country. Sure we have a few pounds to lose, but we’re not obsessively dieting anymore. We register people to vote. We work in and out of our homes, we swim, we walk our dogs! We are Nanas, hear us roar! We are genuinely happy women, until we start dress shopping.

If you think you may have a solution to my existential problem, feel free to PM me. Or comment. I’m open to online shopping in 2016. After all, it was only after Leslie Jones posted her plight to social media, about her hunt for a red carpet dress, that a designer stepped up to the plate. Sample size is not the normal American woman size folks! http://www.vogue.com/13452803/leslie-jones-ghostbusters-premiere-christian-siriano/

And if all else fails, I might just go vintage in my closet!

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